I am Marcia. 39 years old. I lost my dad when I was 5 years old. My mom died April 5, 2011 after two very long sick years of battling COPD. My life since then has been nothing but a fog. Nothing makes sense anymore. I wake up sad. Go through my day sad. Look forward to nothing but sleep and go to bed sad. I have 6 siblings. None of which I am close to. They're all crazy in their own way (Not that I'm not). My husband is a good man. Supports me, loves me. Kids are great, couldn't ask for better. Yet all I want to do is die. And leave the hurt of life behind. I have made an appointment with a counselor, but they can't get me in until December 10th. I am hoping this website will help me get by until then. I am lost. I don't know if what I am feeling is normal or if I am experiencing what they call "complicated grief". I just don't know. I feel like I will never be happy again, and can't imagine living another 40 years like this. The pain is overwhelming.
