Thank you all for your kind words. Here is Boomers story...
I got Boomer from the pound when she was apprx 6 months old. I was looking at other dogs to adopt and when I was leaving I saw this little puppy hiding in the back of her cage. I bent down and put my fingers through the cage and she shyly came over and kissed my fingers and I was sold. I went up to the counter to tell them I had chosen a dog and which they promptly told me 2 things...1) she is part siberian husky and 2) that numerous people wanted her so there would be a lottery the next day at 7am. If you look at my profile pic you see she is NOT husky...she is beagle/corgi mix. So I went to the lottery and no one showed up but me, so I put my name in the can they had and they pulled it right back out and said "I won!" They then gave me a leash to put on her and told me I had to use the leash to walk her out. As we started walking out she wouldn't go, I almost had to drag her down the sidewalk and I started thinking "uh oh, maybe I made a mistake". I got to the gate of the pound, took off her leash and picked her up. She was shaking. I got in my truck, shut the door and boom! She was a different dog! She began jumping around, licking me all over my face and wagging. I always thought she must have been thinking she was going to slaughter as they know that happens there at the pound. So from then on it was me and Boomer! Two peas in a pod. I promptly took her to the pet store and while I was there 2 different people approached me asking me if I got "that dog at the pound" in which I said yes and they said they had put in for that dog and the lottery wasn't supposed to be until tomorrow. Well that was one mistake I would never be mad at the pound about
For the next 15 years Boomer was my best friend, my sweet loving little girl who never had any health problems, never pottied in the house, always listened, slept with me every night and went every where with me. She loved to swim, she floated on rafts, she hiked the grand canyon, she would ask before going outside or before coming inside if it wasn't using the doggy door. She was perfect, my angel and so full of love.
On Halloween 2011 she had a seizure out of the blue, I was terrified. Since that day she decompensated greatly. She could no longer go upstairs to bed, she wouldn't let me pet her, she didn't want attention or loves, she quit barking and had a lot of dementia. We made adjustments. She began having pain from a slipped disc in her lower back from all the up and down the stairs and jumping on and off the bed so we began trying different pain meds for her. She lost a lot of weight over a few months since she wouldn't eat due to the pain and refused the pain meds no matter what we did. We finally found the magic combination and she rallied and for about 2 months she seemed better. But still deaf, a lot of dementia and not wanting loves or to be petted. She had her second seizure October of this year. She declined further. Defecating in the house constantly, walking in it, spreading it everywhere. That was SO unlike her. About 2 weeks ago she stopped eating and taking her meds for 3 days straight. I thought it was time to let her go, my husband didn't agree. We decided to try everything we could for one more week, after all she was 17 years old, but we would try. She ate for 2 days then it stopped again. Last Friday morning, after she hadn't eaten in over 24 hours she began to grab at my hands like I had food in them, begging for food, I became hysterical, sobbing, begging her to eat, trying to give her food but she wouldn't eat. I knew I couldn't watch this any longer, she wasn't going to get better. I called the Vet sobbing who said immediately "it is time" which I needed to hear. I went upstairs to get clothes on and came down 2 minutes later and she was standing in the middle of the living room in her feces looking lost...I knew. I put her in the car and went to the Vet. The Vet told me about the procedure and when they give the second shot to stop her heart she could die with her eyes open and defecate on herself. I couldn't watch that, i was terrified to see her that way. So I stayed while they gave her the sleepy medicine and she fell asleep peacefully whilie I petted her, told her how good a girl she was, how much we loved her and would miss her. She was peacefully asleep, no more pain. They came in to give the second shot and I couldn't stay to see it...I asked the nurse that knew her well to stay with her for that which she cried and said "of course". And I left, with her peacefully sleeping, eyes closed, out of pain.
I couldn't stay for the last part and now I regret it. I feel like I left her. I keep trying to tell myself she was totally asleep, not moving at all, she didn't know, but my emotional part won't hear that. I guess that is why I kept feeling like I "left her there".
I miss her so much. I have never grieved like this before, have never expereinced death of any kind. I finally have been able to stop crying all day, now just have crying moments and lots of anxiety and a whole in my heart. I hope she didn't feel alone in the end, that is my fear. I loved her so much.
