hopsing

hello, i lost my dad when my youngest daughter was only 2 months. to say i was a daddys girl is an understatment. my prayers go out to you. after my dad died i walked around in a very strange state of mind - it was almost as if i were walking through someone elses dream. work was my safe zone, home was were i withdrew and demanded that i was fine and that i was not crazy or depressed. which most days i felt both. it was very exhausting being the mother of a young child - i also had a ten year old and a new husband that didnt get along. it was a very bumpy road. the good news is, it does get better. i firmly believe that our parents made us who we are, and now it is our turn to be there for our children (biological or not), the way they were there for us. it is another way to keep them "alive" through our children. my youngest daughter will never remember my father if i dont keep his lessons and stories alive. he was a great man and taught me many things. by the sound of it your mother made you a great man, please pass that on. give your children her lessons and be their biggest fan. i wish you the best of luck and god bless. sarah

derek, thank you for your prayers. my sympathy goes out to your during your time of grief. i know how mind numbing grief can be. i hope you find support and strength on this site. sarah (hopsing was one of my dads nicknames - that is a whole other story

i first visited this site several months after my father died in feb 05. he died of a massive heart attack just a few short days before his 57 birthday. he was an over the road truck driver and he was not at home when he died. i have recently found out that his truck was running for 2 days before anyone found him. in my head i know that there was nothing anyone could have done to save him, but in my heart i feel like i abandonded him. my gosh he was dead for 2 maybe 3 days before anyone knew. i was extemely close to my dad and losing hime almost destroyed my marriage and my life. i thought that i had a handle on my emotions but for some reason out of the blue i feel like i just got the news that he died. i went through some very difficult times in the past year and i know (hope) that i will get through this as well. i was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this "phenomenon"? any help would be greatly appreciated. thank you