MSS

Hey everyone. Thanks for the support. Just a little update. My Dad's tumor in his neck is spreading and it's resisting treatment. If it spreads further it'll kill him. If we do radiation, it'll kill him. He's decided to stop treatment. I believe we're getting Hospice Care. Now it's just morbid waiting game from life.

Not much has happened, but I just wanted to say that this odd dream I had. So, I remember talking to my dad on the phone in the dream. We were discussing good times and when I was young. We start discussing his cancer, then I get flashes of the doctor telling me that it metastasized to his brain and it wouldn't be worth it to carry on with the treatment. Meanwhile, my dad's still talking to me about the vacation's we've taken and the jokes he's told. Suddenly I lose connection and look down at the phone. It says "Line Dead". I break down crying and wake up. That image haunts me.

He started a new chemo. He's not feeling very good. Supposed to be going to NY in a month to maybe start bio therapy. All I can do is hope that they say that there's a drug for his gene. He said that he had a dream where that happened, it cheered me up with the though and knowing he's still optimistic. I just keep getting these feelings back from when his parent's passed. I've always gotten these feelings when something was about to happen, which I've been getting. Mght just be that pessimistic attitude trying to control me. Thanks everyone for your care and prayers

I still have my mother and her whole side. Along with caring sisters

Hello, my name's Antonio. Let me start from the beginning. Almost 2 years ago, my granda had gotten sick. They had no idea what it was, we even took him to Cleveland Clinic. He had stroke like symptoms, couldn't walk, talk. He was the best man I'd ever met. He was always polite and loved his family more than anything. He caught pneumonia and passed Jan 17, 2012. About 6 months later, my dad was diagnosed with tonsil cancer. He went though treatment and it was completely eliminated. Around 3 months after that, it came back. Not in his tonsil, but his lung. 4 tumors, 2 in each lung. They started treatment again and radiation. They started working pretty well. Well, in April this year my dad said my grandma was sick. Well, I remember walking into that room the day before she died. She smiled, I kissed her on the cheek, then left a few hours later. The next day I went out for breakfast with a friend of my parent's. When I came back I asked where they were and he said they'd be back soon. When the arrived I went outside and saw a bag in my dad's hand. It was her purse with her journals and such in it. He hugged me and said that she had died that night. They think it was a heart attack. That was April 8, 2013. Nothing much happened over summer. A week ago, my dad went to the hospital for syncope and symptoms related. They did a bunch of tests, and all came back negative. They figured it was the scar tissue from radiation and surgery pressing on his carotid. Well they put in a pacemaker to make sure his heartrate didn't go below 60 and blood pressure medicine. Saturday, he got a call from his oncologist saying his cancer's back in his tonsil. The chemo for the past two months did nothing, it grew large and that's what was pressing on his artery. At this point, radiation would only hurt him. Surgery is apparently out of mind, and chemo could mess him up. The only thing left is the genetics therapy. Which is either a complete cure, or failure. He has to fly to New York for the treatment even if they find that it can be cured with that therapy. I'm only 23, I can't let my dad die. I'm not sure if I can take this after 2 losses already...it just depresses me. Thinking about him not being able to ever meet his grand kids terrifies me...