My mom passed away last week at 66. She went into sudden cardiac arrest in December and was rescucitated. She was hooked up to a ventilator and remained on for a month but never regained consciousness. It was the hardest month of my life, they told me it was a 6 to 12 month recovery but considered her to be likely brain damaged with a poor outcome. I visited everyday and talked to her telling her how much I love her. The day before she died, she opened one eye and had a pained look on her face. I told her I loved her and I would never quit on her. We would beat this thing together. At the same time it pained me seeing her in such bad shape. I didn't utter a word for the rest of the night and went right to bed at home. I received a call at work the next day her heart had stopped again and this time they could not save her.
I saw my mom at least 5 days a week and talked to her everyday on the phone. I lost a special person in my life. Someone who was always on my side and loved me unconditionally. It was the worst day of my life. I have no remaining parents or brothers and sisters. I have a 10 year old son who is taking it very hard because they were so close, I keep it together for him when he is around even though I'm dying and empty inside at times. My girlfriend has been great, I lean on her extensively. I also have a few close friends who knew her well. I have no interest in anything right now. Everything seems so pointless and everything I make myself do drains me. Sometimes I wake up and forget for a second, then it hits me. Sometimes my phone rings and I think it is her. These are the moments that seem to cut through me like a knife.
T
