KCinko

Hi All. I'm pleased to say that we had a GREAT weekend so far. My cat "Chica" has been eating & drinking since Wednesday & no vomiting. I'm so happy!!!! I don't know what I would do without her?? She's going to be 15 on July 27. So I will do whatever I can to keep her Happy& Healthy. So I'm feeling a bit heavy hearted tonight, I'm thinking that I was preoccupied with worry about my cat & I'm feeling like the sadness & pain of missing my husband is starting to hit me. I don't know, I'm just thinking about him a lot today & missing him soooo bad. I would do anything just to see & hold him one more time. Anyhow enough about me. I hope you all are doing well. I will keep you all in my prayers as I know this journey is very difficult. Goodnight for now. Love & Hugs to all !!

Yes I talked with the Vet today & he suggests that I just watch her throughout the weekend & see if she continues to keep things down & not give her any medicine, then I will call him on Monday to see where to go from there. He said the Hyperthyroid can definitely make her vomit like that, but it could have been the medicine, or it still could be that she is sick, we just don't know at this point. She is in Kidney Failure - but she has been with this for over a year now & it really hasn't gotten any worse - she gets blood work done. So I don't know, I'm just happy she is able to keep a little bit down. And that's all she eats - is a little bit. But it's something. I too have been praying, so maybe all the prayers are helping. I Thank You ALL for the prayers. My other cat that I lost was from Kidney Failure also. Ironic my husband was dying from the same thing, but Septic Shock got to his heart first. Thank you for talking with me, it really does help to be able to talk to people that have either gone through or are going through the same thing. My husband & my Cats are my ENTIRE life & I have found myself becoming much more Spiritual & Praying a lot !!!! Will keep you all posted

Well I called the Vet today & gave him an update on how she has been, and today again like all the other days that I call him, she is eating (small amounts) & keeping it down. So of course it has me Hopeful & Excited, but she is still not back to her usual self. I should know more tomorrow when I talk with the Vet cause I had to go to work so I just left him a message & he called back while I was at work & said for me to call him tomorrow. She does have Hyperthyroid but I haven't been able to get medicine into her. He also had her on a Steroid but when I gave it to her on Friday she started throwing up again, so I don't know. It seems like any time she is able to hold down food & fluids & I start giving the medicine again, then she starts throwing up. But he did tell me that having the Hyperthyroid can cause vomiting also. So I just don't know what to think, there's no rhyme or reason, there's no pattern that I see but I have been through this just 2 years ago with my other cat - she got so sick I had to have her put down & that just tore me apart. Also when I went through this before I had my husband there to help, comfort & support me. I couldn't have done it without him. He was the one who went back with our cat & held her paw & stayed with her until she was gone. I was too upset. I couldn't handle it. I hugged her, kissed her, held her & talked to her then handed her off to my husband & RAN out of the office & waited in the car. My husband took care of that part of it. So I don't know and I'm just going on & on here - I'm sorry to keep rambling. I guess we'll find out more tomorrow. As for tonight - she did eat a little bit & she is keeping it down (fingers crossed) right now. I just LOVE her sooo much. I will do anything to help her!!!!! My husband used to tell me that she was my "Love Cat". He said - You really do love her. My response was "Yes, I Love Both My Cats". (Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dumb - is what my husband would call them sometimes, cause they would get in trouble together sometimes) Oh well, enough of my blubbering, time for sleep and "Hope & Pray" for better things tomorrow!!!

I think my life is about to take another turn in the wrong direction. I am doing as much as I possibly can to find positive ways to help me through this terrible grief journey. Now my cat (second to get sick within the past 2 years) is not doing well & I'm getting a BAD feeling about her health. She has not been able to hold anything down, no food or fluids. I had her to the Vet a few weeks ago because she just kept throwing up constantly & he gave her IV fluids, Steroids, IV Reglan & started her on medication for Hyperthyroid. She did okay for about a week - week 1/2. He gave me medicine to give her at home & I did but now she's back to throwing up again. She's so sad. This is NOT FAIR!!! She has been with me since she was 6 weeks old & she lost her best friend - my other cat - 2 years ago & last year she lost her buddy (my husband) - that she took to after the other cat died. She is 14 years old (the same age my other cat was when she died) and I know they don't live forever but SHE comforted me when I lost my husband. She has been together with me through EVERYTHING!!!! I can't stand the thought of possibly losing her. I just don't get it. Why can't we have some peace once in a while. Why do we always have to have this pain????????

Thank You. I will read those if I have not already done so. I have seriously read a lot & still reading things. I feel that I can always find something new to learn from each thing I read. At least I'm trying. Right now that's what I find that I need to do to help me.

Thank You!!! I'm still in deep grief but I'm learning different positive ways of coping. (I hope)

Hi everyone I'm so, so sorry I haven't been on here for so long. A lot has happened during this year. I certainly did NOT forget about you all in this group, I have just been coping with everything as best as I can. I have moved into a new house with my daughter, son-in-law & 2 grandkids. I am still going to my Grief Support Group monthly & I still go to my Therapist every 2-3 weeks depending on how things have been. I took my daughter & granddaughter to Texas to visit with my brother & sister & their families over the summer when mine & my husbands Anniversary was & that definitely was a HUGE help for me!!!! I am still working (same job). So I just wanted you all to know that I'm still coping & have not forgotten how you all have helped. I do hope everyone else has been well. I hope no one is upset that I haven't been on here & that I am still welcome to talk with you all, because as I have always said "I try to accept any help/advice that I can get". This pain will never go away but I am willing to learn as much as I can from everyone on how to continue living this "New Life". Thank You for listening!!

Hi everyone, I know it's been a long time since I've been on here & I'm sorry but there have been ALOT of changes in my life & it's taking some getting used to. My Daughter & her family moved up to Pa from Fl & they had moved in with me which was just a small 2 bedroom apartment, & there is her & her husband & their 2 children ages 11 & 16 ( a girl & a boy) and some pets they brought with them, so we've moved into a bigger house, so we can all have our own space when we need it. I also took my daughter & granddaughter on vacation to Texas to see our family, as I haven't seen them in 13-14 years & my granddaughter has never met some of them. The vacation was Great. I went during mine & my husbands Anniversary so my family would be there to help me through that difficult time, which they did. And did a Wonderful Job!! When we came back home my daughter's husband & his family had a lot of the stuff from my house moved into the new house because we were all concerned that I would have trouble leaving the house I shared with my husband. I really did appreciate all they had done but after we returned I had 3 grown men just sitting around the house for a week not doing anything & I let loose & yelled at them, because there was still so much to do, my daughter's storage unit still needed to be moved, things needed put away & organized. Long story short everyone got mad at me & all the guys left & went to their hometown 150 miles away. In the meantime my granddaughter who is 16 has a boyfriend in Florida & she has been doing anything she can to cause problems between me & my daughter & son-in-law, causing us to fight with each other cause she wants to move back down to Florida. So her & I are at the point of not talking & she even took me off of her facebook. I sent her a message letting her know that what she did was hurtful & mean & after everything I did for her this is no way to treat your grandmother. I was very nice to her & she turned around & did this to me & that hurts. I took her on vacation, I bought her some things for her new bedroom & I bought her new school shoes & I felt like she just used me to get what she wanted & now she doesn't want bothered with me & keeps me out of things going on in her life. It's amazing how she managed to cause problems between me & my daughter. My daughter moved here with me to help me through this difficult time & now it's just full of stress. I don't mean to unload on all of you but that's why I haven't been on here for so long. I apologize for going on & on, but I guess I'm just getting it all out. I really am sorry, I didn't mean to go on so long. Thank You All for listening!! I appreciate it!!

Hi all, I'm still feeling terrible & I just found out that my Daughter who is moving up to Pa from Fl in 2 weeks; she just found out that her Father-in-law was put in the hospital yesterday & just a few days ago her Grandmother (her Dads Mom) was put in the hospital as well. So everything is really coming down on us, but I think mostly my Daughter, cause she is moving up here to help me & now she is going to have all of these other things to deal with. I'm just worried about her handling all these issues. I know how I've been feeling so for her I'm just praying she has the strength to handle all this!! She's a strong person, but is she strong enough for all this?? all I can do is be there for her & her husband & help them in any way I can & "Pray" that they can hold up through all this!! Thank You All for listening, I appreciate being able to tell how I feel to someone. I also have 2 Grandchildren involved in all this & yes they are old enough to understand; my Granddaughter is 16 & my Grandson is 11. Thank You for listening

Ok, I've been feeling very SAD for the past few days now, I was blaming it on being overwhelmed with everything going on, but Honestly, I think it's because I know my Birthday is coming up, my Husband ALWAYS did something special for me on my birthday & this year is the "BIG 50" & I won't have him with me to celebrate that & it's killing me. There were 3 times in a year that I would request to be off work & they were; My Husbands Birthday, My Birthday & Our Anniversary. I know, I just know I CANNOT do this!! The 2 other Holidays I was able to Ignore (Easter & Memorial Day), but this is different. This definitely feels more intense & its "Scaring" me. I'm sorry for unloading on here but I needed to get this out!! I just know I'm going to LOSE My Mind!!!

Thank You, Marty, Much appreciated. I will read & try to learn anything I can that will help me

Hi everyone, I've been real busy, I guess that's ok, but at times it seems to be too overwhelming, but I'm doing it. I need some opinions here; Today is the birthday of 1 of my husbands sons & my daughter still friends him on facebook, my daughter put up a post to send him a card & wish him a happy birthday. My Problem: I want to tell him off; he wasn't there for me AT ALL, but I should have known he wouldn't be because he wasn't there for his own father; which angers me even MORE & I want to say things but I'm not cause I know that will take more energy to show my anger at him than its worth. I just hate when I get feeling like this. Any suggestions????

It's been a while since I've been on here & I just wanted to check in. Things have been extremely busy. I'm still going to my Therapist weekly & she says that I am progressing but I'm just not feeling that yet. My Daughter is moving to Pa from Fl in a little over 3 weeks & the small apartment that I have will NOT accommodate everyone & she is having trouble finding a place that she can afford so we've decided to move in together, so I have been really busy working on finding us a house. This has been very exhausting because I'm working Full-Time, going to my appointments, running routine errands, trying to keep the house cleaned up & start getting ready to pack myself. I still have meltdowns, probably 2-3 times a week, I don't know, I'm not keeping track. I'm happy that I'll finally have family close to me but I'm still so sad that I feel bad for not getting excited over it. Well I'm definitely looking forward to having my weekend off & not have to do anything & just relax all day. I haven't one of those in a long time. Thank You All for listening & for all of your opinions, it really helps!! Goodnight, I'll talk to you all soon!! I really do appreciate all of your time!! Thank You, KCinko

Well I had a major melt down today, I just cried all day. I'm not sure if it was the upcoming Easter Holiday plus the fact that when I would come home from work every night my husband would be there waiting for me & have supper waiting & sit & eat with me. I could feel things starting to bother me since Monday & today it just exploded. Its like I couldn't talk about anything without crying. I know people have been telling me I'm doing OK but on the inside I'm just so sad, I want to sometimes just scream "I'm not OK, this is not OK". I know they say that this is part of the ups & downs that we will go through, but I sometimes feel like I just cant take it anymore, the pain is too much. I am glad that I did have the day off work because I'm not sure how that would have went. I also had an appointment with my Therapist today which I was glad that she got to see me when I was having a melt down, because I am truly hurting terribly bad inside. Well I thank you all for listening to me on here. I would wish you all a Happy Easter but I don't mean to be so negative but I don't feel anything happy about it at all, I'm actually dreading the day, I don't even want to see it come. I'm sorry! Goodnight for now. Hope to talk to you all soon

I lost my husband/soulmate on Jan 15,2014 - I have not had any dreams at all about him & I too hear stories in my Group Support meetings of others having dreams. Every night when I go to sleep I hope & pray that I will see him in my dreams, but it doesn't happen. So very disappointed!

I just wanted to say "Hello" & thank everyone for their thoughts, ideas & comments, I believe every little bit helps. I have started back to work Full-Time this week. I still attend my weekly Group Support meetings, & I see my Therapist weekly as well. I was at my Medical Doctor today for a follow-up on the new medication he has started me on (which has helped me more than I thought it would & that is why I was so resistant to taking it). But from what I've been told this week from everyone, my co-workers, my therapist & my Doctor, they all feel that I'm doing well, doing better. My boss has re-arranged her schedule at work so that she can be there with me for this first week (which was a wonderful thing for her to do). They have done a great job making the transition back to work as easy as can be. I can't thank them enough. They have been my support system through all this as they know that me & my husband do not have any family close by. So all in all I suppose I had a decent week, but I was so busy I didn't have time to think. I haven't decided just yet if that's a good thing or not. Well as I said I wanted to say "Hello" & "Thank You". I hope to be back on again soon, but right now it's time for some sleep. "Goodnight To All"

Thank you all so very, very much, I appreciate your help with all these issues. I'm currently on my way to see my Therapist, then after that I have a meeting with the Bank Manager to close out the account we shared & transfer everything into a new account. Thank you all again, you truly are helpful!!

I haven't been on here in a few days as I have been totally consumed with feeling that I need to protect myself & my husbands personal belongings & ashes from his 3 boys who have told me on several occasions that there are specific items & other personal belongings they want & to spread my husbands ashes as he had wished. I have clearly responded that I am not ready to go through anything yet, let alone give up anything yet, but they insist that if they come to help me go through his things it will be easier on me & that it's not healthy for me to have my husbands things sitting around, that it's making me feel worse. I have explained that all these things actually comfort me at this time & that when I'm ready to put things away, give things away or pack things up I'll know it. There was also a letter my husband wrote many years ago addressing his 3 boys but he also tells them how much he loves me & how I changed his life & to please take care of me. They took this letter with them (without asking) & said they would make copies for everyone. I have asked them 3 times for a copy. They now just ignore me altogether. Well I had a very serious issue happen earlier in the week where someone got into my husbands bank account (as I did not have his name removed yet) & made 4 transactions with his debit card number but I have the card in my possession, they tried to do 3 more transactions but the bank declined those - thank God. I do not like to blame any specific person but when I spoke with the bank manager & informed him that my husband had passed away in Jan, his first question to me was "can I ask you, Is there anyone in the family that would have had access to your husbands debit card numbers". My answer was "Yes", his 1 son has made several transactions over the internet for my husband as we did not have a computer until just recently, this same child was also given my husbands debit card with the PIN number to go to the store to pick up items for dinner when his family would visit. I tried to go to work on Saturday but I had to leave because I'm so worried that his boys are going to come to my house & just take whatever they choose & believe me they will. So I've been afraid to leave my house. So this is where my mind has been all week & I'm trying to work on figuring out how I can leave my house & feel safe to be at work for 8 hours. Unfortunately these kids know my schedule & what shift I work - so I will keep trying to figure something out. My husband did not have a will & he did not write anything specific to be given to anyone, these are all personal belongings, but his children feel they are entitled to his things because they say that's what Dad would want. I'm just very confused & trying to protect myself until I'm ready to go through his things.

I wear my rings (Engagement Ring & Wedding Band) faithfully every day, as far as I'm concerned I am still Gary's wife & always will be, this is a symbol of my Love & Commitment. I am not able to wear his ring or I definitely would, but I do carry it in my left front pocket every day. I never go anywhere without it. Months before he passed we discussed what he wanted done with his wedding band because he would never take it off, even for surgical procedures, he made them put tape over it & he always would say " It goes with me when I go". but as we got close to that time I asked him if he really wanted it to go with him & he said no I want you to keep it. So I did remove it from his finger when he passed & I keep it with me at all times. Will there ever come a time when I take mine off & put them all in a safe place??? I don't know, all I know is today I need them on my finger, I need them with me at all times!!

Thank you for the kind words & advice. I do read as much as I can about the grief process so I can educate myself as best I can. I know I've read a lot of Marty's writings, but no matter how much I read there are times when I feel like I just read something new when in fact I had read it before. I guess that's part of the process of being able to retain what you read, that in time I will be able to retain everything like I used to. I also find myself asking people to repeat things they may have told me a day or so ago because I just can't get things to stick in my brain for very long. So for now I will just go one day at a time. Thank You again!

I recently lost my Husband, my Soul mate on Jan 15,2014. I am attending group support meetings weekly, also seeing a Psychologist weekly, as well as following up with my primary care doctor monthly. I mainly feel like I don't know what I'm doing most of the time but the people around me are telling me that I am doing things in a positive way. Last week I returned back to work for only 2 days a week & only worked 4 hours each day. I have been out of work since Dec 18,2013 when my husband started declining rapidly & needed to be placed in a nursing home. Prior to that I provided ALL of his care at home by myself with no help from anyone. I would give anything to be able to care for him today if only I could have him back. I'm returning back to work slowly as I work in the medical field & I feel that I need to have good, clear judgment & be able to concentrate in order to perform my job effectively. The only support I have is from my side of the family (my husband & I were married before), my work place & support group. My husband has 3 boys, none of which seem to want to bother with me, but I'm sure they will call when they want some of their fathers belongings & to spread his ashes. I'm sorry I'm probably going from one thing to another, as my mind is all over the place, but it sometimes helps for me to write things down. So that's what I am doing today