On Friday, May 16th I had to make one of the toughest decisions of my life, and I still struggle with it. Our beautiful happy baby boy Shih Tzu Cole was only three years old. We got him as a puppy and he was the best boy ever. He had gone through so much in his short life. Intasusespion (spelling?) at one, almost died, but made it through. Then my daughter accidently scratched his eye, corneal ulcer and many visits to the hospital to save the eye. Needless to say the vet bills were very high, but I had got a Care Credit card just for that reason. Then in May, Cole got sick. I didn't see the signs. His pee was darker, I thought he wasn't drinking enough, so I made sure he had plenty of fresh water, which he drank and drank. Then he got picky about his eating. I had just started a new job and thought he was sad because I wasn't home as much. Then he stopped eating completely. That was on a Sunday and I took him to the vets on Monday. He was immediately diagnosed with acute liver failure. I had no idea, everything happened so fast. The vet said he had to go to the hospital, but I didn't have enough money to do that and he wasn't sure he would even make it. I signed the papers and took him home for outpatient treatment. I did sub-q fluids IV twice a day and antibiotics. I thought he was getting a bit better. Then Thursday night he wouldn't let me do the IV. Friday morning no IV either, he yelped when I even pinched his skin. He started hiding from the bag and me......I called the vet and took him in earlier than his scheduled visit. I got home to take him and he was just sitting in his crate, looking at me lovingly but unable to get up just then. I told him it was ok, he was tired and didn't feel well. Off the to vets. Then came the worst.....his toxin levels were elevated and he lost another pound in under a week. He was sicker than I knew. The vet said he could give him a shot to make him eat and fill him full of fluids. I looked at Cole and my gut instinct was not to put my baby through any more torture. No more IVs, no more meds. He was getting worse by the day. I asked the vet if I should put him to sleep and he said it was my choice. He wasn't very reassuring. I knew in my heart that I didn't want Cole to suffer anymore and that he was failing quickly. The vet thinks he ingested a toxic mushroom or something else toxic. It broke my heart, but I made the decision to let him go. I cradled him in my arms as they got ready. Told him no more needles, or meds, just happiness. As the tears rolled down my face Cole looked up and kissed me. Then he was gone....I miss my baby boy every day and still cry everyday hoping I made the right decision. He was my everything. His chances were not good and I couldn't stand to have him suffer another day, week or month. I pray to God everyday that I did the right thing by him. I loved that little boy more than anyone could know...
