I lost my husband Sept. 29th 2014 of lung cancer. We started this terrible journey July 17th of 2012. We found out about the cancer ONE day after he retired from a glass factory after 43 years of service. He had NO symptoms of being sick, he got a free X-Ray from his work the day after he retired and that's how we found out that he had stage 4 lung cancer. Our journey took us through Chemo and Radiation ( I personally think that the Chemo took a toll on his body) He went from a 240 lb strong man to a 100 lb weak man. The chemo was so strong that he lost all his teeth, which made it hard for him to eat anyting. As the months went by the pain was getting worse and the morphine was upped every week. I guess one of the worse parts for me was him begging me to help him.......And I couldn't........I felt so helpless, Wanting it to be over and feeling guilty for wanting something like that for a man that I have been married to for 45 years!!! When it finally happened I felt relieved, confused, sad, scared and alot of other emotions. Now one of the things that is really bothering me is the fact is it's like he was never here. After you get rid of his clothes and other things, now his name is being taken off EVERYTHING!!! Bank account, car, car insurance, anything that had his name on it is gone, it's like he never existed...how can this be, a man that has worked all his life to make something of his life and family is gone. How do you cope with this??? Oh yes there is one thing that they left his name on and that's all the hospital and Dr. bills, something that I will probably pay for the rest of my life. With the holidays here it will be very hard for us, but we are a strong family and we are supporting each other the best way we can. Thanks for letting me vent.
Dar
