sleather

I've seen a ton of huskies on the lost and found pages I'm subscribed to. I hear they like to jump fences a lot, which is why so many of them go missing. Tucker was not wearing a collar when he went missing. It's one of my biggest regrets of that day. I was so scared after he'd gone missing for only half an hour the night before that I decided he was going to wear his collar from now on, regardless of his skin allergies, and we were also going to get him an underground fence. The only thing that kept me from putting the collar on him that morning was that in his mind, collar = walk or car ride, because I always put it on him before we went out. I was afraid he would try to follow my car (which he used to do the first six months I had him), and I was afraid that if I put it on him and kept him inside all day he would flip and stress himself out all day. My plan was to get to work early and come home early so I could take him for a walk before it got dark, and then just not take his collar off him afterwards. He only needed to make it one more day. So that morning I left early, and that's when I remember him standing in the driveway which was unusual for him. It was as if he was saying, I'm just waiting until you leave, then I need to go somewhere. And I left, and came home early, and he wasn't here. I think my actions that day will always haunt me at least a little bit.

kayc, I was waiting on some news that came this morning before replying to your post. On Friday evening I decided to contact one of the ACers recommended in the link that Maylissa shared. I tried the general status check from Tom Link just to make sure that he agreed that Tucker is still around before paying for the full consultation. He replied back on Saturday morning that he does think Tucker is still alive! I was a little disappointed to hear that he believed Tucker was not living with someone (though this may actually be a blessing because I was worried about the finder becoming too attached to Tucker and not wanting to give him back). He said Tucker is taking shelter in out buildings, and that he's tired, stressed, and a little hungry. He also said that Tucker's been exploring the area, and while it's challenging, Tucker is strong. He also is not injured. I was really glad to hear that yet another person believes Tucker is alive. I was surprised that he did not find another family to live with because he's so friendly and has never avoided people, but I know dogs can go into "survival mode" and have some personality changes. At the same time, it would not surprise me that Tucker is capable of taking care of himself. He was always very clever and resourceful, and since he spent all day outside and has spent a few nights outside too, I know he can take care of himself. I wasn't sure at first how this fits with the first reading I got earlier this week, that he's living with a man. I guess one may be wrong, or maybe it's something like, some guy is aware he's living out in the shed/garage/barn and puts food out for him or something, but hasn't fully adopted him as his own. A lot of people in our area assume wandering dogs are just strays. Also on Saturday I went up to the city just over the state line and made sure the vet and shelter up there had flyers. They hadn't heard or seen anything though. I went around the area north of our house to look around a bit but didn't see anything. That evening I decided to go ahead with the full consultation, and scheduled for Sunday morning (today). So this morning I got the results of the consultation. The main detail that got my attention was that he thought Tucker was north of our house too, but not quite as far, more in the 3 mile range rather than 5. The other big thing was that Tucker showed him that he was with another dog (and gave me a description), which matches what the other ACer thought. He gave me some other details that Tucker had shown him, and he also did the map dowsing and gave me a copy of that, which he marked where he thought some of the things Tucker showed him were. He said Tucker seems to be visiting homes with the other dog, and that Tucker seemed especially interested in a car salvage yard in that area. Tim also gave me some advice on what I should do with that information. Now, I'm a little skeptical because it would've been easy enough to pull up Google Maps, pick a spot near my house, and then describe some areas near there, but there's enough details that match up to the first ACer that I'm willing to give it a shot. I drove through that area a few times today looking for Tucker or the other dog but didn't see anything. I'll probably keep following up on that area for a while since it's the only thing I have to go on right now. I have flyers already posted on stop signs in that area, but I'll hit a few more and change out the ones that are already up since they're faded from the rain. I might try calling that salvage yard too and see if they have dogs hanging around. Maybe that's the single guy? And he just lets strays hang out or something. I don't know, I'm trying to just treat this as a tip someone called in to avoid disappointment. I still feel strongly that Tucker is alive somewhere. Even though I haven't found any signs of him being alive, I haven't found any that indicate he's dead either, so there's no way I can give up on him. I'm still open to any new tips, but until then I can only search this new area and accept that a lot of this is out of my hands. I'm just so thankful he's chipped so that if he does turn up at a shelter, I'll almost certainly get him back. Tim has asked Tucker to show himself and allow people to help him, so we'll see. It's still hard knowing I may never see him again, but I'm trying to stay positive and keep thinking of our reunion. Still, the sadness and fear still hit me at least a few times a day, but it's getting better. One last thing that happened today: a lady came down our driveway this afternoon. I believe she was just going around the neighborhood trying to find new members for their church, but the first thing she said to us was "Are you the people missing the dog?" Apparently they've told their church members to keep an eye out for the dog since a lot of them live in the area. And it turns out the church is right across the street from the salvage yard, so that's a crazy coincidence, one that I'm hoping works out for us. She also told us one of their members owns the farm behind our house, and apparently they had driven around all their land looking for Tucker (obviously didn't find anything). It's really touching that so many people are looking out for us and Tucker.

Wow, Maylissa! Your post is amazingly thorough and helpful. Thank you so much for taking so much time to help me! First, about my other dogs, they haven't shown any clear signs of grieving, but I think they are at least confused. The one (Zip) we've had since before I got Tucker seems a little sadder. During the first week he went missing we put a camera out on the porch where Tucker used to hang out all day. The first day we put the camera out, we saw that Zip had actually spent the day on the porch, just laying on the chairs out there, occasionally looking up over the bushes towards the road. She has also walked past Tucker's dog bed inside the house and spent quite a while smelling it (we haven't washed it or moved it) and she even licked it. She may be missing her buddy a little. That makes sense about the ACer not wanting to do a home session. And you're right, I don't think she does too many lost dog cases because that type of case isn't specifically listed on her website. It seems she mostly communicates with animals still living in the home. But she was very comforting, and it did feel like she genuinely cared about Tucker and me. Thank you for the article you linked. I'm in the process of looking through all the resources and the ACers that are recommended to decide what I want to do. I think I may try one of them to see if I can get more specific information on Tucker and his location. I'll definitely also try some of the other recommendations on that site. From what I read about scent tracking, the scent can actually last for weeks if the conditions are right (cool, damp, not windy). Unfortunately it's snowed, melted, and snowed again since Tucker went missing. While we were able to get out to the area Tucker liked to explore before the weather came to look for signs of a struggle with coyotes or any sign of him (we found nothing), I'm pretty sure it's going to be too late to track him at this point. Which is ok, since he explored so much of that land back there that it might have been difficult anyway to distinguish between his normal trails and his final trail. I've thought about door knocking in that direction around the distance she thought he might be, but I think there are too many houses, even though it is pretty rural. As you said, it is a very general description she gave. I will drive around the roads in that area tomorrow, and I'll be going up to the nearest city up in that direction and talking to the vet and shelter up there, and try to find a community bulletin board. I'm also worried about knocking on doors in this area is that, while many people are very friendly, there's also a large percentage who are very adamant about people staying off their property. It was a little intimidating even going up to some of the houses on our own road. Thank you for your other tips, I will try them. And don't worry about hijacking the thread or anything. One thing that's helped me is doing anything I can to help other pet owners. I don't really know what to do in your situation besides call the shelter, but maybe someone else does?

kayc, it does give me some comfort that so many feel he is with someone and safe. If I stop and consider the two most likely possibilities, neither seems as bad as not knowing which of the two it is, if that makes sense. If he was killed by coyotes, it's obviously heartbreaking, but it was probably pretty quick and he is at peace. If he is with someone who's caring for him, then he's a happy dog. Not knowing which is harder than knowing he's dead, and I think you've experienced something similar to that with your stepson. I'm glad that story had a happy ending. Maylissa, thank you for the article, it had some perspectives I hadn't considered before. I agree that if Tucker's alive, based on his personality he's probably found himself a home and I'll need to look for his finder. I've done the neon signs at three major intersections (not holding them, I taped them just below the stop signs), but the weather eventually brought them down. I still have smaller flyers taped to other stop signs around the area. They're in sheet protectors so they've held up alright. I also have a flyer in the back window of my car. The ACer I spoke to was Sally Hinkle from Nashville. We only talked on the phone, which was actually a little relieving because I was still scared of being scammed or something and figured a person like that would want to do a home visit to charge more money. But Sally didn't and she was very kind. She asked some very basic questions about Tucker like his breed and how old he is, and how he got lost. She tried to contact him and said she couldn't at first, but then she could. She felt he was safe and comfortable, and that he misses me very much and would like to come home but is fine where he is. That was nice to hear because I told my boyfriend before that I could see Tucker not being too upset about having to live with a new family if he couldn't get home. He's loyal but not that loyal. She said that she felt he was "to the right" and she realized that didn't make sense, and suggested it could be to the right of where I was sitting or to the right of our house. I was facing our backyard so to the right would be the same in both cases: north. She said maybe about five miles away. I could see how this could be true since north of our house was the direction I looked the least. It's very rural and mostly farmland, and five miles away is right at the border with another state. Not that I didn't consider him crossing the state line, but that state has fewer resources for finding pets. This weekend I'll go up to the city just over the border and make sure the vet and shelter up there know about Tucker. I'm also going to try to find a community board like at a grocery store and post his flyer. Then I'll drive around and see if I see anything. Sally thinks that Tucker is with a man. She doesn't think he has children, and also didn't think there was a woman, but she wasn't as sure on that. She also thinks there's another animal, a dog she thinks but possibly a cat. She had me try to communicate with Tucker and try to act as a homing beacon. She also had me communicate with our other dogs and ask them to try to help guide Tucker home as well. She repeated that she definitely feels that Tucker is alive and safe, and she wished me luck in my search. Now I know that alive does not mean he'll get home, and I also know there's no guarantee that this information is true, but it does give me some hope. It also has helped with the thought of Tucker never coming home, since there's a good chance he's happy. If he's alive, getting him back will come down to some good luck and persistence. I know what you feel about just feeling something is wrong (or right). Tucker being dead has never sat right with me. I do feel like he's alive, and that he's sending positive thoughts my way. It doesn't make sense and a lot of people would laugh at the idea, but the morning Tucker went missing I felt something was off and that I should put him inside. I didn't because the reasons seemed irrational at the time, and now I'm regretting not trusting my gut. I won't make that mistake again, as long as it's in my control (which it may not always be like in your situation). I hope you hear good news, Maylissa.

I wanted to update you all about my missing dog Tucker. Before anyone gets too excited, he was not found or seen as far as we know. Obviously it's still very difficult to cope with such a sudden and ambiguous loss. I've cried almost every day since losing him, and some days are much worse than others. We still get some calls from people who think they've seen him, but so far it's always still been some other dog (or in one case, a large skunk). I'm still grateful that people are trying, though. It's really amazing how many other dog lovers live in my area. I started seeing a therapist for my grief. Since I got Tucker at such a difficult time in my life and he helped me cope with losing my mom, the pain of losing him has been much more complicated than all the other pets I've lost. My therapist agrees that a lot of my grief from losing Tucker might be tied to the grief from losing my mom (that was less than a year and a half ago). I get five free sessions paid for by my job, but I will continue seeing this doctor until I feel I can handle both of my losses properly. I looked into an animal detective, but there weren't any in my area. The closest one was someone a state away who specializes in cats, but as I was considering an farther away option, the big snowstorm that hit the South came, and covered up any trails that may have been left. It's only just started melting this weekend, so I'm sure this possibility is out. After I thought about it more, it probably wouldn't have helped much in Tucker's case anyway, since he wandered around a pretty large radius already. I think finding his final trail would've been very difficult if possible at all. Finally, I actually gave in and contacted an animal communicator. As I mentioned, I was skeptical of the idea, but a friend of my boyfriend's cousin vouched for the particular ACer that I called (apparently they found the dog on her advice quite far from home), and somehow having someone more close to home recommend it pushed me to do it. It probably also helped that my boyfriend, who is generally very no-nonsense and would've laughed at the idea normally, was the one told me about it and said if it would help me to feel better, we should do it. So I called her and we talked on the phone for half an hour. I can give more details on what she said if anyone's interested, but the short answer is that she believes Tucker is alive and being well taken care of, and she gave a general direction and distance of where she thinks he is. I guess that's what I've been thinking too, that if he's still alive, someone's got him and is treating him right. As far as coping with the grief, like I said some days are worse than others. Friday was pretty terrible. I couldn't concentrate on anything and was in tears almost the whole day, which is weird because Thursday I felt pretty good. Yesterday (Monday) was probably the best day I've had so far. I think it's the first time I felt happiness, and even thinking about not having Tucker didn't immediately drain that happiness away. It felt like I had somehow accepted that my chapter in Tucker's book may be over, at least for now, and that's ok. Even if he's dead, I heard someone say that a short life is still a complete life, and if that's so, I got to make the last 17 months of it great. It doesn't help to think of all the things he didn't get to do, but of all the things he did, and he did a lot for a country dog. Thank you again for all your support everyone!

Thank you Maylissa for your extremely detailed post. I looked into the pet detective idea but just could not find anyone in our area. There was one listed for our state on the resource you provided, but she's actually in the next state over, 5 hours away, and specializes in finding cats. I shot her an email anyway in case she had any suggestions on who I could talk to in my area. The thing that discouraged me about the detectives is that it seems like a lot of their work is doing the things I have already done, putting up countless posters, talking to people in the area, etc. Even in the testimonials, most of the people seemed to find their pet through these services that the detective provided, not from a dog actually coming out to search. I am kicking myself that I didn't consider this earlier, since it's been almost two weeks already so it'd be iffy that the scent trail even still exists at this point. But even if I had considered it, the costs are just so high. I love my dog to death but the fortune I would have to spend on a detective is just so much. I'm not one of those people offering a $1000 reward. I've got about $225 to give to someone who helps find my dog, but could put together a little more if need be. It's a similar thing with the ACers, and I just can't justify spending so much on something I am not convinced works. I mean no offense to anyone involved in AC, but I guess I'm just not very spiritual. I know I'm not doing a very good job of showing I would do anything for my lost dog, but I'm trying to do everything within my means. I still search for him for hours everyday on top of a full time job and two online classes. We take quite a few calls everyday from people possibly seeing him. I check out every one, and keep going back to the ones that are more credible. At this time we only have one tip that we're still checking up on, but we're still hoping for more. Still hoping for our miracle. I go back and forth still between the optimist and pessimist. I mean, there is definitely a coyote presence in the area Tucker liked to play in, and I thought that we would've gotten a call about our sweet, sweet Tucker sooner, something more substantial. It's hard to understand why Tucker, who was never afraid of people and always looking for a bite of food, would not approach someone if he were lost. On the other hand, I know getting lost can change a dog's personality. He may be afraid to walk right up to someone, may be more skittish. I also know that while coyotes are relatively common in my area, it would still be out of the ordinary for them to attack and successfully take down a 45 lb dog (especially a scent hound who might smell them coming). And my dog isn't a helpless lap dog (not that there's anything wrong with them! I love my dachshund). If any dog could figure out how to survive out there, it would be Tucker. He knows how to find food, and he definitely knows how to find shelter. He has a dog house at home but I used to find him hanging out in all sorts of areas on our property in the winter. He really liked the shed where we kept hay bales for the horses. He also is wary of roads, the one good habit I taught him. Maybe he's still hanging out outside somewhere, or in a shed/barn near someone else's house. We have signs up and have been knocking on doors so we're hoping someone realizes he's missing. We're also still considering the possibility that someone saw him and thinks he's as pretty as we do and decided to keep him. I know they say people keeping "strays" is uncommon, but he really has a distinct look. It's possible, especially since I can't exactly vouch for Tucker's loyalty. It wouldn't surprise me if he found some other people who take care of him and thought, "good enough, this will be my family now". Of course I would still want him back, but I can't say that would be the worst outcome for Tucker of the possibilities. Thank you everyone again for the kind thoughts and prayers, and the very detailed suggestions. This website has been so helpful because there just aren't enough resources out there for handling the complex grief of a missing pet. Everyone has tips for how to find the animal, but no one else acknowledges the pain of knowing your pet may not come home, and there might not be any answers for what happened. I find myself in a sort of limbo: I have taken pretty much all the steps I can to find him (many tips are more appropriate for urban areas) and playing a lot of the waiting game now, but it's still too early to grieve as though he were dead. I simultaneously told to stay optimistic, and told that it's "just a dog" and that it's weird that I'm still upset about it 12 days later. The search is not over, and I will let everyone know if we discover anything. Thank you, everyone!

Thanks kayc. What is everyone's experience with these animal communicators? I have to admit I'm skeptical. Today's been a rough day so far. We got another tip in last night after it was already dark that someone had seen our dog in a neighborhood a few miles from our house. My boyfriend takes all the calls for these tips, and he said he thinks he's spoken to her before and texted her a few pictures of Tucker, so she would have a better idea than most of what he looked like. I circled around the neighborhood five times calling his name but didn't see anything. I put up some more flyers in the area, hoping that some people just haven't seen them yet. I had several dreams about Tucker last night. The first was that I was posting to the various Facebook lost and found groups that Tucker had been found deceased. Then I had a bunch of dreams that someone found him or a very similar dog and was posting it on Facebook. The last one was that I opened the door of our house to see Tucker laying in the grass in the yard. It was warm outside. I was so excited to see him and brought him in and gave him his breakfast. Then my alarm went off and I even had to think hard when I woke up on whether Tucker was still lost or not. He's still lost. Such disappointment. I checked that neighborhood again on my way to work and still didn't see him. Not just him but there weren't any dogs running around outside. Not that I'm complaining, it's way too cold for most dogs to be out today around here. My boyfriend thinks someone has him and just doesn't want to give him up. If that's the case I can only hope we'll catch a glimpse of him someday, or this person's cousin or friend or something figures it out and calls us. I'm a little more optimistic today that Tucker wasn't killed by coyotes. Still definitely possible though. It does feel like the grieving process has reset though. I feel like there's still a chance, and then realize Tucker's still not home and there's no guarantee he ever will be and the fear and sadness washes over me all over again.

Thank you Marty, Maylissa, and enna for your kind words and great suggestions. We've got flyers up on stop signs all over the area, and on other community boards. I also put up large neon posters with three pictures of Tucker at a few major intersections in the area. Animal control in our area knows, and I check in the neighboring county too. I check a lot of the shelters in the area and made sure they have posters. Tucker is chipped so if he ends up at the shelter, most likely we'll get him back. I have flyers at the vets too in case someone takes him in. The sheriff and local police know too. We're still getting tips from people, most of which end up being about some other dog, but a couple are still possible. And Maylissa, I'm really sorry to hear about your cat. In my search for Tucker I got a few calls about a lookalike dog who we found the owner for, and he definitely didn't care much about the dog. It was hard to give him back and I still think about him and hope that he has a decent life. I still talk to Tucker. That seems to help a bit. Usually I talk to him in the car driving to and from work, and then sometimes in the evening while sitting on Tucker's cushion on the front porch. I promise him he'll have all the walks and food and cuddles he wants if he came home, but if he can't I would understand. I'm not mad at him. I don't know if he can hear me but it makes me feel better.

Thanks Carrie. I hope this was a planned trip because there's more hope in that. And you're right, he definitely needed more freedom to be happy. He didn't like any toys or playing with other dogs so if he was inside all day there would be nothing to keep him occupied except his anxiety about getting loose. It gives me some comfort to think that way. It's like if someone were passionate about skydiving and died in a skydiving accident. Should they have lived to 75 being bored and restless or lived to 35 doing what they loved? I may not have kept Tucker as safe as possible, but I did everything to make him as happy as possible. I'll attach a couple pictures of Tucker and Zip. Tucker is the beagle mix. We also have a dachshund named Jake but he stays inside all day.

Thank you Marty. You are so right about this being a wound that cannot heal, and I am the one keeping it open. I have to, it's way too soon to give up on my baby. A lot of people tell me stories about their lost dogs, how one came back after two weeks and another was found after a month, etc. but what if he's not found? I find myself getting angry that these people have their dog back and I don't even though mine hasn't been missing as long yet. I went to search the woods yesterday near where someone said they saw him last week, begging Tucker to send me a sign but again nothing. I don't cry as much now, only when I'm by myself. I go back and forth between frantic searching and accepting that if he is to come back, it may take time. I have a hard time believing he's a stray right now. He's just so sweet that I can't believe he wouldn't go up to people, and I can't believe no one would've seen him. I just hope someone has him right now and that he'll be returned. I can't stand the thought of him dying alone with coyotes yip yipping around him. It would've been so terrifying.

I'm just so heartbroken right, and I feel so much guilt. I've had plenty of dogs over the years but I never felt such a connection until I got Tucker a year and a half ago. We were inseparable, and he just adored me. That look in his eyes said all he wanted was to be next to me. I'm no stranger to grief. My dad was incarcerated when I was 18, and my mom died when I was 22. She was sick for six months, and it was in that time period that I got Tucker. I needed him as much as he needed me. I feel bad saying it, but losing Tucker feels worse than losing my parents. I think a lot of it is just not knowing. Is he safe living with someone else? Is he roaming still? Was he shot? Was he killed by coyotes? We live out in the country so coyotes are around. I know sometimes they're on the farmland behind our house. I know some will call me irresponsible, but Tucker and Zip (one of our other dogs) are outside loose during the day, as are most of the dogs in our neighborhood. Zip stays by the house but Tucker liked to visit the neighbors and explore the farmlands, especially the one behind our house. So I know coyote attacks are rare but Tucker certainly upped his odds. Tucker hated being cooped up. He destroys window blinds and chews up other things inside if left alone. I physically couldn't get him in a crate because he's so wiggly and fast. He can get out of any collar, harness, or dog run, but he was always by the house when I came home. It just naturally made sense to let him stay outside and loose because that's what he was most comfortable with. And it worked for over a year since we stopped attempting to contain him. As soon as I pulled into the driveway he ran off the porch to greet me. Until last Tuesday. He just wasn't there. I'll never forget that day. The night before he disappeared for half an hour and terrified me. Half an hour is normal for Tucker but he usually didn't wander at night. I was up half the night researching underground fences, and decided his roaming days were over. I thought about keeping him inside until we got it, but I figured maybe him being inside all day on Monday from the cold was why he wanted to stretch his legs that night, so I put him and Zip out. He surprised me by standing in the driveway when I was scraping frost off my windshield that morning. He normally goes straight to his dog house but that morning he looked like he was planning on going somewhere but just wanted to see me off. I scratched him behind the ear before getting in my car. When I was halfway down our road I thought about turning back to check the blankets in his dog house to make sure they were dry, but I wouldn't have been able to dry them quickly so I put it out of my mind. I had even left early that day when it was still dark out so I could come home early to walk Tucker. Everything I did that day was for Tucker and he wasn't there when I got home. He didn't come when we called him, he wasn't around the neighborhood, and he didn't come home that night. I took two days off work to search for him and put up flyers with no results yet. There's just nothing. The neighbors know nothing, we couldn't find signs of a coyote struggle, we couldn't even find a body on the side of the road. I try to stay optimistic. I keep searching every online lost dog resource and calling shelters and searching around the one area we got a tip that hasn't turned up a similar dog. But I'm losing hope. I know since it's been over a week now the odds are against us. I'm so sorry. I feel like I did everything right with that dog except that he was loose that day. He's even microchipped. I love him so much so why was he the one who had to leave? I can't even begin to accept his loss because it feels like giving up on him.