Shaliz

I didn't know about the course- I will look into that- and wow, KayC,your circumstances are so similar to mine! I didn't have the medical bills, since my husband passed quickly and unexpectedly, but he did leave me with a significant amount of debt and a condo with more on the mortgage than it's worth. My commute is (was?) close to that as well, and I would spend 3-5 hours per day commuting, then at the office, on call weekends and evenings.

I wish I could retire, but am only 45, so I have a way to go. I am going to take a few days before I try to start figuring out what's next though.

An unexpected blessing tonight- I wound up with a house full of people who love me that I didn't even ask to come over. They all said they felt I needed them. So weird but wow... I needed that!

I am going to check out a bunch of the other threads. I'm so grateful to have found a place where I can "talk" and "listen" to people walking this awful path!

KayC, thank you for responding. Our HR dept actually told me she recommends I take a medical leave to deal with my grief, and followed that by telling me that my job is not protected by FMLA (been there less than a year) so I'm not sure if I lost my job today? But it is clear that I need to take some time anyway. My husband left me in kind of a financial mess, and I went back to work 2 weeks later as well. I see a grief counselor, but the grief+long commute+ stressful job has definitely taken its toll. It is so strange- it feels like a scab was pulled off and there was no healing underneath. My grief counselor actually had recommended an online support group, and I am glad I found this one.

My husband died in his sleep 5 months ago and I thought I was doing ok, but just this week I feel like I've slid back so far. I have a high-pressure, high-stress job that has gotten more taxing, and today I sat in my office crying, and have been so anxious and ineffective. I can't help but wonder if anyone else has backslid to this extent? Is this normal?