Hey everyone.
I read a lot on this website but I can't help feeling that my story differs a little, and I'm naive enough to belive that maybe I still have a chance.
Her father passed away in August 2014, and before out story was really like a fairytale, that too good to be true stuff. She even went 6 months in exchange in us from Paris where we met and I moved, but we were stronger than ever.
After the cancer diagnose and the following death of the Father, she changed but I expected that and did everything to be there for her.
Now I'm in Japan on holiday and she wants to take a break, feeling she needs to be alone. She cares and has feelings for me, she doesn't know if she loves me but she loves me in a way, she is willing to move to Amsterdam to live with me next year but she doesn't know if we have a future.
She destroyed my trip already, but the worst is that I need to wait till beginning of July, when we will meet and she will see me and "see if I still love you" cause she said she needs to see me in person to make a final decision.
I'm not texting her but replying yes. She called me after one day talking about an interview she had as if we were together and added that the next date might be on the day we should have met, my graduation day. She also said tho that she was bothered by that because she doesn't feel like she wants to sacrifice something that for me is important for a job interview. I feel like she switches personalities!
She told me a reason for the break is that she doesn't care about anything else anymore after the dad died, and that is selfish and I deserve better than her. I emailed her giving my opinion to all of that, through what my therapist told me to expect after her father's death and I took some stuff from this site and she replied "thanks for the email, that is interesting".
Now she sends some snaps once or twice a day, she likes my pics on Facebook and commented on one I personally published fishing for her, putting a pic from my trip and the lyrics of our song.
I'm going insane, that is not a surprise, but I'm keeping a diary so at the very least I don't talk to myself when I walk.
