On Friday I had to say good-bye to my dog Lucy. She had lymphoma and was to the point she was having a terrible time breathing, especially at night. She could not lay down without a choking sound conibg from her throat. She couldn't get comfortable. She was covered in large tumors. It was so hard because she was still so happy, she was eating, playing with the other dogs, but the vet kept saying she would drown because her lungs were filling up. I kept waiting to see that look in her eyes that it was time but it never came. So I took her in, the vet examined her one more time and said her lungs had a lot of liquid. I decided it was time. I talked to Lucy and the vet came back in and it all happened so fast. I expected her to ask if I was ready. But im talking to Lucy, Lucy cries out, I yelled at the vet to not hurt her and she just said to the tech try the other leg this vein is shot. and as I turned to Lucy she looks at me with her big eyes and she looked so scared and looked at me as if she q as saying whats happening, why are you letting them hurt me. Then it was over. It happened so fast. It was not a peaceful passing in any way. That is what I took her in for. She could have had a painful death at home. I of course didnt want that for her. I have gone through this before and its quiet and peaceful. This was horrible. I understand the grief, but I can't get the look in Lucy's eyes out of my mind. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I feel like I betrayed her, and her last thought was that I betrayed her and let someone hurt her. I don't feel the peace for Lucy that I've felt for my other dogs that have passed. I just dont know what to do with this pain and guilt. I just keep apologizing to her. I need to feel she is at peace. I feel so horrible.