StaceyC

I teach at a private international school in Seoul. I am fairly close to the Yongsan area where one of the military bases is located. Not sure if your son would like to talk but I'm here. I too have lost some weight - I joked that my mom would be proud of me. We were always talking about healthy food and "trying" to lose weight. I'm single so I'm used to eating alone and it's never been much of a joy. My joy comes from cooking for others - friends, family, and colleagues. I'm so thankful for my "work family", otherwise I'm not sure what I would be eating. I don't have the energy or desire to even prepare a salad. My poor dad. All I can think is that he's stuck eating alone for the first time in nearly 50 years. My best friend here in Seoul lost her father in a tragic accident on Tuesday so I spent yesterday with her, helping her prepare to fly back to the States. It's strange to say, but it really helped me to be able to help her.

Thank you all so much for your messages. Everyone has been so supportive and I'm thankful I found this site. Deb, I too talk to my mom every day- I keep a small urn of her ashes on my nightstand. I watch lots of TV to keep myself semi-distracted. I love to cook but really haven't gotten back into it yet. That was something my mom and I shared and it's so hard to go in the kitchen without feeling just miserable. I have yet to make a meal. Even though everyone's grief is different I can relate to you and your situation since you are far from home as well. I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm here if you need to talk. I worry so much about my dad. We talk each day on FaceTime so we can see each other. Thank goodness for technology since I'm so far away. He seems to be functioning pretty well with the basic daily tasks and tackling some of the issues with insurance and retirement accounts my mom had. However, he told me he hasn't turned on the stove once. So basically he hasn't had a decent meal since I left two and a half weeks ago. I ordered some gourmet frozen meals for him and they arrived last Friday. When we spoke this morning he said he'd finally had one for lunch - so he's "had his meal for the day". He is a wonderful cook and enjoys it, but like me, it's too painful to go into the kitchen. It just tears me apart to not be there to cook and care for him right now. I think it would be good for both of us. He needs the help and I need to take care of him. Thanks for "listening"...

Thank you, James. It's hard to fathom that something so painful and foreign is also so normal, yet it is. I find myself angered by others around me when they chat about their day or their recent vacation - don't they understand I just don't care? Is that mean for me to feel that way? I finally made it through a phone call with my dad without crying today. I guess that's progress.

Thank you both for your kind words of support. I am going to look for a grief support group for Westerners here in Seoul ~ as soon as I have the energy to do so. It helps to just write and get my feelings out there and hear from others that understand. I've never written a post of any kind before so this is very new to me. I'm not normally the kind to put myself out there, so thank you for your understanding and acceptance.

My mother passed away very unexpectedly (heart attack) on October 3, 2015. My birthday was November 1 and it was horrible. Then the one month mark of her passing was nearly unbearable. Simply put, I am lost and can barely find the strength to get through the next minute or hour, much less each day. I am originally from the US, and all my family is still there, but I currently live in South Korea. I am single with no children and have no family nearby for support. I flew home to be with my father and help with arrangements but had to return to Korea for work after only 3 weeks away. I just don't know what to do. I feel completely lost and alone. My parents are, or rather were, the foundation of my life. I desperately want to be back home with my father. I want my mama. My colleagues and acquaintances have been gracious and kind, but I feel that no one really gets the full impact of my loss. My mom was 68, active, and seemingly in good health. It was, and is, a complete shock to all who knew her. She wasn't sick, she wasn't old, I thought I had another 25 or 30 years with her!!! I miss her so much. I feel guilty for feeling like people just don't understand. When someone asks, "How are you doing?" I just want to SCREAM "How do you think I'm doing???" Of course, I don't. I simply say, "I'm fine, thank you for asking." I know they mean well but it's just awful. Awful. I've been back at work just over a week and I feel people don't understand why I'm not back to normal ~ whatever that is.