willow87

MartyT- your board is beautiful!

Kayc, thank you so much for your kind words. It is truly appreciated. I just hope that there is an incredibly bright light at the end of the tunnel. 

If anyone would have asked me in 2015 where I would be today I would have never imagined that I would lose my mom and my six year relationship with my boyfriend in the first three months of 2016. To say I am sad, depressed and feeling alone is an understatement.  My life seems to be falling apart in front of me and I am struggling to stay afloat. What makes it even more painful is that the one person I would call for advice or even a hug is not here to hold me and tell me everything will be okay.  I miss her so much right now, I don't know what to do. 

I am an only child as well! Yes, that is the exact reaction I get. They look uncomfortable or like a deer in headlights! They usually say, "sorry for your loss" which gets annoying after you've heard it so many times or they are so stunned I feel bad for them. I've come to realize that most people do not know what to say to you. They are very uncomfortable and I end up trying to ease their discomfort. One would think after the first month we would be pass the "how's mom" inquiry. But I feel that a year will pass and someone will ask, "How's your mom?" Sigh.....  So sorry you are going through this. 

Yes. Especially since most people know the close relationship I had with my mom. I usually get this from people who have not seen me in a while. In fact, I got the exact same question last week in my exercise class from a person I hadn't seen in over a year. My mom passed away about two months ago. It is really hard to get "that" question and kinda awkward. I feel that there are so many triggers in the beginning that you cannot prepare for....

Thank you so very much!

Hello, I lost my mom earlier this year and she was cremated. We will spread her ashes later this year but now I'm thinking that I want to keep a part of her with me. I would like to do some type of cremation jewelry. Just wondering if anyone has done some type of cremation jewelry. Looking for insight as I start to realize that once her ashes are spread I will no longer have a part of her with me. Sorry if this disturbs anyone!

I totally understand. I lost my mom January 24, 2016. I am 38 and she was 64. I thought I was handling it well, going to work, meeting friends for lunch etc., but the lonliness is constant. It is amazing how one can feel lonely in a room full of people. It's because the one person we long for is not there. At times I think I am handling it well and then all of a sudden I am embraced by grief. It hits me that she is not coming back. That I have to live the rest of my life without her. The pain returns. I have learned to take it not one day at a time but one hour at a time. The way I feel right now is sure to change two hours from now. Just know that as you feel this lonliness, you are not alone. I am, too. 

MartyT thank you for the resources. At least I know I am not crazy !

Daughter of an amazing  mom, it is so  difficult. Most days I feel  as though I am not living, but merely  existing, hoping  one day the dark  cloud will ease  it's grip on me. I definitely  felt pain  from my heart to my stomach  every time I thought about the day my mom died.

I totally understand. I'm 38 and many of my friends  still have their mom. Unfortunately ,  no one can truly understand  until they have experienced  the pain that we are going through. A friend who lost hismom 3 years ago told me that I now belong to a club  no one wants to be a part of, but everyone  will. Those first few weeks I felt like you. It hurt  to see people with their moms, it hurt to see  older women  because  I thought  it was so unfair  that they were still  living while my mom was gone. There is no way you should be over it after two months. In fact, I am convinced  that we will never get over the death  of our mom. I know people who lost their  mom decades ago and they still long  for them. I cannot  fathom getting over a person  who made me the woman I am. I will never be the same.

3 hours ago, kayc said:

Hi, I'm sorry for your loss and the reason you're here.  Nausea & panic attacks I think are common with fresh grief, it's stressful!  I'm sure the eye-twitching is also probably stress.  Are you seeing a grief counselor?  If not, I'd recommend it.  There's also support groups that might be helpful.  

Make sure to express your feelings through journaling, blogging, or here, it helps to feel heard.  For myself, when my husband died I felt my power had been stripped from me, after all, no one asked ME if I wanted this!  Coming here helped tremendously, but it's important to do our grief work, and it IS work!  I used art, writing, making a collage, all kinds of things to work through it.  It also helps to take care of ourselves, daily walks, eating healthy, avoiding depressants like alcohol.  Make sure to have supportive people around you and limit your time with those who just don't "get it", at least for now.

I hope you'll continue to come here and read the threads, it helps to know you are not alone in how you're feeling and what you're going through.  Meditation is also very helpful, and listening to soothing music or nature sounds.  Spending time with pets also lowers your anxiety.  See your doctor if your symptoms continue in spite of your best efforts.

Thank you for your advice! I am seeing a therapist which  helps tremendously.  I thought I was handling it well, then suddenly I started to get these symptoms. Clearly  something is going on due to my grief.

Hello! My mom passed away suddenly in January. I am an only child who was incredibly close to my mom. She was my life and best friend and it's difficult living without her. I've noticed some physical symptoms since her death and I am curious to know if others have had these problems. My eye constantly twitches. It's been going on for over a week. At times I feel nauseous. I also feel as though I have mini panic attacks-usually when I start to think about living the rest of my life without her. Any advice/suggestions are appreciated.