I totally understand. I lost my mom January 24, 2016. I am 38 and she was 64. I thought I was handling it well, going to work, meeting friends for lunch etc., but the lonliness is constant. It is amazing how one can feel lonely in a room full of people. It's because the one person we long for is not there. At times I think I am handling it well and then all of a sudden I am embraced by grief. It hits me that she is not coming back. That I have to live the rest of my life without her. The pain returns. I have learned to take it not one day at a time but one hour at a time. The way I feel right now is sure to change two hours from now. Just know that as you feel this lonliness, you are not alone. I am, too.