Numbfrompain

Thank you for that. Through this whole process, the hardest part has been that I know anger and resentment aren't good for me and that I need to forgive.  My heart just can't quite get there

Only through Skype and on my phone calls nightly.  They're 3 now.  I've been  working on trying to forgive, but she uses the girls as a pawn from time to time and that makes it very difficult.

2 years ago, I went through a horrible divorce.  My wife, at the time, was having an affair.   I didn't understand it and couldn't cope with it. We had moved to Ohio together to be closer to her family for help with our twin daughters.  I'm from Florida.  I left and moved back to Florida after months of trying to reconcile, but watching her get sucked deeper and deeper into the affair.  I still talk to my girls almost every day and Skype with them occasionally, but I'm overwhelmed by guilt and grief from time to time and I have no outlet to let it out. It's been 2 years and I still have dreams and nightmares about "what if" scenarios. If I'd done better. Or more. If we didn't move to Ohio in the first place.  I feel so isolated.