Hello I'm new to this site but my pain is raw and real. Finch I am too grieving a friend that was more then a friend. We loved each other but had our own families. I too find myself stalking his families pages to see what's going on. He had a double lung transplant 3 years ago and I met him over 2 years ago. We actually did get to meet and we had lunches together and we talked about life and what we wanted. We agreed to be together but then I decided to cool things down because it didn't seem like we would ever be together. We agreed to be friends and talk which we did he would tell me how much he missed me and I the same he would beg me to meet up for lunch but I always declined because I wanted a life with him and it hurt that I couldn't have that. Well September 9th he messaged me and I went back to sleep never answering his message. Then I found out he went into the ICU on the 12th with acute rejection. As if that wasn't enough I ended up taking my son to the ER the same hospital he was in days before he passed?!! I had NO clue I could have said goodbye. I missed my chance. I pray that he comes and visits me in my sleep just to let me know he's ok. I've had that happen with other frirnds so I know it can. But no luck yet. I missed his funeral but found out today where he is buried.
I hate this I hate this feeling and I'm on prozac. NOT HELPING!! It dose suck being the best friend but not allowed to be there. I feel you pain I do.
