VioletAlto posted a topic in Anticipatory Grief and MourningHi, everyone. This is my first post here, even though I joined the site in October. I'm really in a tough place, I'm not sure what to do. My grandmother, who I always had a good relationship with, was close to, and love very much, is dying. She's had several strokes, the latest in August. That's the stroke that finally knocked out what remained of her speech. I spent about an hour with her last night, holding her hand. It's really hard to see her as she is now. She's uncomfortable all the time, she's trapped in a body that does almost nothing she wants it to do. Chances are excellent she'll pass away in the next few months. One of the biggest griefs I have is that I live 1000+ miles away from her. I'm here in town until Thursday afternoon (it's Tuesday afternoon). I need to spend some time with her, *really* saying good-bye, if I'm going to do it while she's still alive. But I don't know... I don't know how, and I really don't want to say anything to her that's going to upset her, when she can't talk back. My therapist told me to read "The Four Things that Matter Most" and go say the four things to her, so I started writing a letter. And I don't want to read it to her if she's going to be awake while I'm doing it. I'm afraid of upsetting her...? If for no other reason than I'll be crying and she won't be able to say anything. But what else can I do? I (think? feel like?) I need to find this closure sometime in the next 48 hours or so, and I don't know how.