Diana

I'm right there with you. My dad recently passed away from lung cancer and I was his primary caregiver. I was lucky that I could take off a couple of weeks from work to be with him, but everytime I left to go back to work, he went back i nto the hospital. Even though I know that it wasn't my fault (he had a ruptured spleen, then pancreatis), I still feel as if, if I stayed out with him, then he wouldn't have declined so much...

My uncle died of stage IV non-small cell cancer on Oct 5 and my dad died Nov. 14 of small cell cancer. I was my dad's primary caregiver during his last month and his POA-Health Care. I made the decision to override my dad (he didn't want hospice) because he had stopped eating/drinking/taking care of himself for 3 days. I'm trying to be 'strong', but this weekend has been very hard. Dad died 3 days before my birthday and we were really close. Dad always said that people actually grieve for the living; for the missed opportunites they had. But I just keep seeing my dad's face in my mind and reliving all the times we were really close. Before, they made me happy (even after he died) now I just get depressed and cry. Is this normal?

My dad died on November 14th too. My friends who have lost their dads say that the hole in your life will always be there, especially when something good (or bad) happens that you'd normally tell him. I hope that you have friends that you can talk to......they are priceless.