My boyfriend of a year has had a very long and trying year. We started dating March 17th of 2017 (yes, tomorrow will be our anniversary). He pursued me and we very much have enjoyed our time together. It hasn’t been without trials as we got to know each other and have come to love one another.
his father was diagnosed with a rare form of aggressive cancer a month after we started dating and his father fought very hard! But, in August he was fine. He was put on Hospice and slowly began the process of letting go. My boyfriend and I talked about his depression and his need to spend his time with his family and that he just wasn’t going to be able to spend much time with me and I completely understood. I made sure to be patient and understanding and to always stand by his side through the whole thing. He did continue to date me and we had some amazing times together. The day his father died was the day he told me he loved me for the first time. He’s affectionate and calls me babe, and tells me he loves me even now. Also during that time, he started formulating a plan to quit his six figure income position and to start his own company. He doesn’t know what yet. Just that he wanted out of his corporate job. He also had this idea that he would buy a travel camper and travel for a few weeks at a time and then come home and then go back out. The purpose was to market his product idea and to see some of the country. At first I was all for it. But the day before he intended to quit, I asked him to wait. I asked him to join some counseling and to just give himself time to grieve. I asked him to consider applying for some other jobs rather than quitting without a parachute right now while he tried to figure out what he wanted to do for a startup. I was too emotional and he felt blindsided and unsupported, I’m sure. Well, a week later we’re trying to decide if we want to stay together and he informs me that he is now going for a month and that he wants to break up when he leaves. (He’s planning to leave May 15th).
I begged and pleaded and he was upset about that as well. He told me in no uncertain terms that he would not hear anymore talk trying to change his mind and o promised him I wouldn’t say anything more and that I support everything but that decision.
that was about three weeks ago. He has started counseling and he had two sessions and I have as well. I don’t know where his heart is at right now, but I feel like I’m in the fight of my life!
I want to be here for him through this journey. Why can’t he see that I’m his partner and I can and will be strong for both of us right now? How can he have me in his heart and want me near for two months before he leaves, and then just think to drop me? He told me it’s because he needs to be free and needs to not have someone to “answer to”. He didn’t even talk to me about my wishes or expectations. He just decided that our relationship was doomed and gave me notice!
Truly I think it’s because when we had our disagreement, I walked away. I was ready to call it quits. He didn’t fight it. I think that was the point when he decided he just couldn’t take the emotional strain. That was the point he gave up on us.
I made a mistake on doing that to him. I’m so sorry I made him doubt our relationship and my support and commitment to him. I love this man and I want nothing more than for him to be happy when he’s near me or talks to me. I want to be a strong shoulder for him and I want to be patient and understanding. I want to be able to give him the space he needs and be okay with it.
my anxiety is through the roof now though since he basically gave me an expiration date.
Is there anything I can do to salvage this? We are still together and he’s still trying. And I’m thankful for that.