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Tachi

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About Tachi

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Son
  • Date of Death
    today
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    na

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Hurst Texas

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  1. Sometimes its just not worth the trouble. Too bad some companies have no clue about customer service, they wont last. Guess you dont need a/c very often. We're looking at mid to upper 90s and no rain for the forseeable future. Hopefully Kodie will turn out to be a very even tempered dog. Sounds like hes got a good temperament. My brother is such a narcissist just like Dad, tho dad's thankfully has mellowed. Bro keeps telling me how to live, that I should never leave the house etc. Telling me to get an online degree from a worthless college in something that wont benefit me. He obviously thinks im a clueless dope and need him to tell me what to do. Too bad hes always wrong. I think after the estate is settled one day i wont talk to him again. he will want everything and for me to keep the house. Not going to go broke and die on the streets just to make him happy. Need to find an estate atty to ask one question so I can set up a Trust for dad's possessions and then its done. sorry, I just go on. Been a rough couple days. take good care of yourself and lil kodie. maybe you'll catch it lucky and get a gentle rain for a change.
  2. wow that posts big, relaxing stuff and the scene would be heaven. Guess they didnt make the toy hold well enough. Dogs can be pretty tough. Well, if they refund you thats cool, didnt get much use from it. Thanks for the nutrition info, will be looking through it. Ive read so many things. I dont have the budget for anything special and its hard to cook just fo me but im trying. Mostly im having brown rice and chicken, salad and fruits. Mixing in green veges with my rice and add a bit of ginger-sesame dressing. I feel alot better. Now just have to get to working out. george sounds like a good man, a true blessing. You found diet that works for you and thats excellent. Plus the discipline to stick with it. Of course when you start seeing good results its an encouragment. Weve actually gotten rain and a couple cool nights. No more til october probably. Take good care of yourself.
  3. That company must be overseas or very understaffed, glad he likes it tho. He probably thinks he is saving his momma from the evil toy. If you havent found a way with paypal you might try emailing or calling them. I spent a week sick as a dog wondering if my appendix was going to burst. I think its either ulcer or intestinal. But dumb me ate chips last night and I hurt a bit today. Diet seems to be the key. Ive given up coffee and beer and changed my diet and will change it more. I lost 7 pounds in the past week and a half. Feel pretty light tho. maybe that illness was a call to live healthier. Funnu how I search googe and pinterest for ideas to make landscapes and I always end up in a forest. Guess thats just the peacefull place for me. now will see if I can learn something. take care
  4. That im changing, more water, better diet, exercise, fiber, hav to change cause I dont have insurance so if it put me in the hospitl im broke.kodie must have been a miners daog in a former life/ You two take good care of each other and feel better. If I find a miracle sure will send it your way
  5. I used to tease about Taco Bell so my Mom started getting their taco kits at the store after which I felt bad cause tbh mine were better. Mom was always like that. her meaning to life was her family. God bless and keep her. well, dad is having a bad couple days. he can get around physically but mentally hes lost. Little sleep two nighst ago i think crashed him. he said last night was ok but I see it in his face. Hes just sitting staring, dont know if he cant turn on TV or if he just cant think. I'll go in there in a minute and see. Thats an awfull thing and I sincerely hope and pray im gone before I get that way. Food stores are funny here. prices have gone up of course and if they have any sales going they dont sign them. I figure yes they hired extra people but theyve also been selling alot more product, who knows. I've given up trying to understand it all, too many lies and too many greedy people. Im thinking that since I cant walk through a real forest or quiet village I should create my own, Hows is little Kodie doing? Have virus restrictions eased up there yet? This county has loosened a bit but we still only go out when necassary. We are in starting summer, two weeks of 95-100 and sunny. Going to retreat to the tub of icewater Take good care
  6. Thanks, it is actually done in 3d software. meaning that its on the computer and I can go in and walk around in it. One use of this is for architects when they propose a building to a client they can model their design, then add the realworld lighting and do an animation walking thru the building. Or to create an ancient temple or some structure. lots of applications. Its my escape, dwelling in my soul. My dads condition is odd. he no longer has the same physical cycle of 2-3 bad and 5-7 good days. he is ok every day now physically. But mentally he slipped a bit. he will like today just sit and stare in the darkness. he asked me when they would have Christmas cards for sale because this year he wanted to get them out in time for people to send us one, and we also need to make a card list. I reminded him its June 1 and he didnt seem to understand. I can look him in the face and tell he's not all there today. Phonecall with brother in an hour, I really cherish those.... .....I think tbh if I did meet someone who was right id try, but just not going to look. I think its going to be a miracle to survive and find a job after dad passes. I understand that he may need to go to a home somewhere and there will be no inheritance. Thats Life I guess. I think you're right. You could remarry just to have someone there. i guess i couldnt fault anyone for that, not my business anyway. But how do you compromise just for expediency...one day as you say, you and your beloved will be together for all eternity. This is just a short time. Ok weird question, do you folks have Taco bell up there? Ive heard theyre everywhere. Take good care,
  7. My dad and my bro will both tell me things that arent true. They dont know anything or have a wrong understanding and they state it as fact and argue it. I dont just pull things out of the air. I look it up, research it, I ask people in the field. And I dont care what either of them tell me when i know it isnt right. I honestly dont know if my bro does it just to feel the narcissistic power rush of having convinced me to follow his wishes or if hes just trying to hurt me. The hard thing for me is to change. I tend to appease because thats how I was taught and how I survived. I hate that and I hate myself for being that way. It comes naturally w/out thinking so is very hard to stop. I tend to go from appease to stubborn and mad. Thats when I feel threatened. there is a proper mid ground where youre sure and confident and dont feel threatened by people trying to use you. You can just look em in the eye, call em out and laugh in their face. havent learned that yet. Good youre connecting w/ family. All that other stuff shouldnt get in the way. they should get to know you and theyd see your a nice person. I give up on all my family, every one of em. When i moved and when i quit work I was the one who would reach out to people. So I decided if they wanted to remain friends they could get ahold of me, after a few weeks none did. marriage...I did when I was too young and stupid, finally stood up for myself, will tell that story some time, its fun. From this point onward I wouldnt have the time or the patience, dont care to play games, dont want to marry or date someone just so im not alone. Im great being alone. besides which I feel I have nothing to offer. My fervent wish hope and prayer is to be able to survive in peace and get my artwork going. Thats all i want. I had my chances in Life to be married and I tried one...lol...the rest i blew it. never had the confidence or trust after my divorce. Its both a comfort and a great sadness to know certain times are done and certain things will never happen. Its just life. hah dont you ever compromise, it never ends well. You have Kodie, unconditional love is good. Guess we'll see if my bro and his wife are home and get the weekly pain out of the way. Oh, enclosed please find latest project, old quarry. Ive found that alot of people dont understand how important an artists work is to them. Or how it messes them up to not create. Its not just something I do to fill time. Its my reason for being, its my soul. And to not be able to create well is painful. I can take a few assets like trees and rocks and create different environments and have stories for them all. people can give me just an object or an idea and I can create a story. Outside interference like family stressing me and unresolved issues dampen it. And i tried to forget it for over a year but I cant and I am no longer willing to. This is a major mark against my bro, in that he has to have an opinion on it and render a judgement, that its not important. he has no right to an opinion. Anyway, guess im feisty and protective today lol. take good care.
  8. Oh no, i'm so sorry. Sounds like a scam product and company. I'm sure paypal will take care of you. had same thing on amazon trying to buy facemasks. Turned out to be a Chinese company just ripping people off. Thats one reason I cancelled my Prime membership, have been seeing that more and more often on amazon. Ive always enjoyed watching the water, esp at sunset. And the sound is serene. Miss that experience. being close to the water like that cools the air and gives it a really nice quality. Like night air when it gets cool. Our house just doesnt cool well. We're upper 80s and into 90s next week. The house stays at 80 all summer but a bit warmer in my room. Problem is it doesnt go down enough at night so doesnt do any good to sit out. My bro sent me a Pi, its a miniature basic computer that sits in your hand. You add accessories and code programs in Python to make it do things. Cool gadget and I dont really have time to mess with it. But my bro wants me to abandon my exam and go full steam ahead on being a programmer. he thinks I can teach myself and be a developer and make 6 figures. Doesnt work that way. I have been an appeaser all my life. And i understand thats part of the problem is he thinks all he has to do is just keep pushing. If dad werent around id have already broken ties. There is a thought that there are two kinds of people in life. Those who help you spend your time and those who waste it. Most people just waste it and why should I give them time? Eh, well sometimes maybe its the right thing to do. But not often. And at 62 I could go at any time. I dont care to do what HE wants me to do. This is my life and no matter what its do what i care about now or theres may be no tomorrow.So, yes ma am after we settle the estate and finish with the atty stuff, and i fully expect he will cheat me blind, he and I will be through. I dont think its cold at all, its my right to expect respect. It is sad when family doesnt bond. Its good youre getting to know one of his kids tho. Who knows what will come of it. I guess family isnt what it once was. Of course i can see how my bro grew up like dad. makes sense since hes the oldest. I do miss the old days with the aunts and uncles. I didnt have a clue and ignorance was bliss. anyway, im trying to discipline myself to work on some artwork, i need to do alot of learning. Take good care
  9. I have put up with my brother and I know there are ways of doing things. There is good advice presented respectfully and then theres bullying just to make you do something they say, and thats him. Not good at conflit and have always been an appeaser like Mom was. But at 62 and in a very bad situation in life. Way I see it is if someone is respectfull they offer one time and if you dont wish to do what they offer then drop it. he has a very bad habit of pushing again and again. What makes me mad is that he cant actually BE a big brother. They took our rain away. We are now headed into the more summer weather pattern, hot and dry for a few months. Ah, good field for him to be in and a definite boon for you. That should do the trick quite nicely. maybe next life I can live up there and sit on my porch and feel the cool breeze while the trees sway in the wind. Is there any fishing near you? Like a pond or little lake. I'mnot sure just how wild it is there. Is it even safe to be outside after dark? You two take care
  10. we were forcast cool and rainy for a week or so but thats changed to warm and blue sky. I should talk to the weatherman. Poor Kodie, he had no clue what was going on. had that happen one morning at 3a.m. These are electircal backup so i had to round up the batteries to replace the bad ones. Yep, dad also think an electric blanket costs a hundred bucks a month to run. He gets ideas in his head and wont let go. Opening the house to fresh and cool air improves life, almost as good as sitting on the back porch. Trying to discipline to finish studying and take exam. My brother keeps trying to run my life. hes alot like Dad. Sad thing is that most of his advice is very bad. At the moment hes trying to get me to abandon this exam and become a programmer. Wont happen. Luckily I have become old, rude, and very defensive. Yes ma am, working on an environment tonight, may actually learn something, we can hope lol take care
  11. Good for you, sounds like you're eating right and keeping discipline. Its always a challenge for me to cook something healthy and keep it from getting boring. I fail more often than not. But tonight despite the threat of rain I bbq'd. I made some burgers and bratwurst. dad liked it so im happyt with it. I had started at one time but was quickly overwhelmed by how many diets there are. Some i had no idea if I could get the food and some were expensive and I can do neither. Dad is losing his days, apparently he thought today was monday. We have a big cakendar on trhe fridgerator but he doesnt even notice it. I can leave notres ;osted in huge text but he doesnt notice. He had told me a week ago he made a eyedoc appt for tomorrow. Ill call and see but I doubt theyre open. My brother has no idea whats going on. And I cant type. Supposed to get rain but it went around, thinking very seriously of taking tomorrow off and just working on artwork. Oddly, I went to the grocery store today. I felt perfectly safe being there. lots of middle aged and young professionals and it struck me odd that should have been me. I wondered what it would have been like to have had that life. Sometimes it hits me like, why didnt I ever pursue that. Too late for that tho. Thats why people shouldnt be hidden away .....we get wrapped up in ourselves....we need to be around people so we at least see theres something else out there. My brother says hes been in the apt two months, at least he has his wife there. Im a recluse but it was good forme to get out a bit today, and bring me out of myself. My best friend is diabetic. When he found out annd started eating right he dropped alot of weight. Cheats sometimes tho. Enjoy the sun, were supposed to get rain off and on for a week. War and humid, o joy. Anyway, have a walk in the woods for me. Always loved how the sunlight came thru the branches, light and shadow. take good care
  12. That sounds like perfect weather. Walking in the woods like that would be a great rejuvination. I would rather spend my time in that or in thought in the woods than aimlessly hanging out w/ people. It was always funny to me that kids would talk about all their 'friends' when they didnt know what friends are. Sounds like you have to eat healthy. Do you eat alot of greens and vegetables? What about bread? Good trhat you keep it under control. One thing this virus points out all too well is how unhealthy we are as a society. We talked to my big brother and his wife. She is very sweet, he is an overbearing narcissist who always knows the only truth and has been giving me advice on career and now life for years. too bad he is often wrong. At my age i dont appreciate his attitude. Yea, whe dads gone sadly we will be fighting. Hes upset that I still go to the grocery store. Anyway, just can barely stand to talk to him anymore. I had always thought family was supposed to support you not try and shove their rules down your throat. Nice visual lol. Ah, you have a data plan. Those can be rough at times. At least youre not doing any gaming or pirating movies I download so much art assets its silly. We're supposed to get rain here and there over the next week. be hot tho. Take good care.
  13. I feel rather odd in this lockdown thing because it really hasnt bothered me. I have no other family here than dad. the only friends I had after moving back were at work and theyre gone now. I've always been a loner and quite comfortable by myself. in fact i'd rather be by myself than be with someone just so im not alone. Yea, my wish for the end of Life is just simple, survive, peace and quiet. It would indeed be more difficult if we had family here. I'm sorry you havent been able to be with yours. If you folks havent tried it you could all get on Skype or similar together and at least see and talk to each other. hang in there and enjoy the Birthday party, esp the cake. Virus, I think Dallas and Houston are worse than we are. We were never totally locked down. People here have been sensible, Dallas not so much. But the infection rate is low. They were in panic mode for awhile, built tent cities etc and never used them. they need to all follow the rules but if they dont get the economy going again there will be nothing left. I think georgia and Florida have been opening for a month and havent had any resurges so hopefully were headed in the right direction. Theres just so much more going on and i fear that will end badly for us. Dad... has always held the opinion that he is the sole holder of truth and meaning. But that isnt absolute. Whatever may be the subject only what he likes is 'real' and usually the comparison is to what he had as a kid or what he read in an article. That isnt a real corned beef sandwich or that isnt a real milk shake. he just doesnt realise that different people make things differently and some things/many things they just dont make them like they used to. But he likes what he likes. I was giving him a little turkey bacon but he isists on real bacon, waiting to see if that hurts his stomach. I dont think he relates things like diet to stomach. But it seems to be settled down so will keep doing what we're doing. Some things they reccomend he just doesnt tolerate. At this point he gets ideas in his head based on what he wants, and I cant always make that happen or lets say waht he wants shouldnt happen. Sometimes/often i cant really understand what hes talking about. i have to ask and i dont want to offend him but he talks softly and well, sometimes he just doesnt make any sense. Congrats on all your tests, very good to hear. The nutrition paid off it seems. Do you do any jogging out in those woods, seems that would be so inspiring. Keep up the good work. I had been trying to wade through all that stuff and gave up. Too many conflicting ideas. i just try to minimise my sodium and no grease or hot spices. Just a general good diet. I know I need to look at it again and get in gear. No time to waste. Ok scratch Kodie ears for me. Take good care of yourself. We are going into the upper 80s and 90 for the next week and a half but should get some rain, too bad it wont be cool rain but we'll take it. take care
  14. Thanks Marty, hope you are well. Its funny that until recently I did feel like I had to be the hero, the everything. But I realised I can only do so much. I have to get back to taking care of me if i want to have anything left my dad is gone. His world, and I know not his fault, is tinged with madness. Its a fine dance to know what should be real and what is smoke and let it blow away. I definitely have learned much and still have more to learn. It would be easier for me if i were still working, had some outside activity. I had worked hard to get Life to where i could come home, get school and launch a career in 3d art. I purposely kept from making friends and relationships so i could be free at the end of my life to go wherever and do whatever. At least it serves me well during these times. I have no problems being by myself. its all just funny. By the way, whereas My dad had been on a cycle of 5-7 good days and 2-3 bad days hes gone a week of good days with two he slept most of the day. I dont know what changed but its welcome. Thanks for thinking of us, take good care
  15. Someone has pointed out that Donepezil, the script they hadnt fixed yet, is to slow the advance of alzheimers and at some point wont do much anymore. You cant stop the disease just try and slow it down. I suspect we have reached that point. He has tremendous trouble using the remote. hes just clicking buttons without knowing which they are, else he has no idea where his thumb is, sometimes hes holding it upside down and sometimes he gets ahold of the DVD player remote. he will hear things, I ask the weather man for a gentle rain every night. Sometimes I can hear him laugh, kinda like Santa does when I tell him ive been good. Its funny because here nearer the end I dont want riches or anything fancy. I just want to be able to live in safety and create my artwork. I would be happy with a 1 room garage apt out back somewhere, a yard would be super nbice, sit out in the evenings. One thing that strikes me again and again. The important things in life you cant buy or even steal. they are within. TD Jakes has a sermon where he says the warfare is in the mind, its how you think, its how you feel. Life will beat ya down until ya cant get up, it'll make ya give up on your dream. Young people want to be a certain way without paying dues, wout training and learning. Doesnt work that way. They all hurt inside and they have no clue whats going on. Because we no longer teach things like character and honor. But such is this world. Food and dad lol. Its a running mess. We as a family went for years having soup for lunch. then one day he loudly proclaims to Mom that he doesnt esp like soup, he'd like a sandwich. Just like he told me the other day I should research the difference in cost and flavor between normal and turkey bacon. All he had to do was ask for pig bacon. I told him I get turkey because its healthier, less grease, doesnt shrivel so we get more meat and less fat. he just stares at me and I hear his mind say "bacon bacon bacon" . Considering hes been getting alot of diahhrea he sure wants to punish himself. Only the foods he likes are the 'real' food. ts like cooking for a 6 year old. sorry, am tired and drifting. he refuses soups, he will eat melons, but they get expensive. he likes mashed potatoes because theyre easy to eat. he is very very picky, cant eat some things because of tremors and some things upset his stomach. I had just bought a large box of instant oatmeal when we decded it could be making him sick. Once foods are suspect he will not eat them again. he wont eat ice cream, havent tried popsicles, good idea. he used to love fudgcicles but that last bad choking food incident sooured him on them. Now its frozen yogurt. Im just happy if he eats. very picky. Its such a pain to have all the doc appts. Well, get rest when you can and enjoy the outdoors. id love to be in the forest. Such times just seem to drain all troubles away. dad had a test the other day and they cancelled it for covid but forgot to tell us. These are very trying times. people are overboard in both directions and there is much more than meets the eye. The governors being too strict are way out of bounds. but people have to take precautions. being crazy doesnt help their case any. im very curious to see how things progress. Trying to remember that i have no control whatsoever. I dont need to go out anyway, just the grocery store and take dad to the barber this weekend lol. ' Where you live, do you have to wear a mask in public? Do you folks have a high infection rate? here we dont have to wear one, i do tho just to do what I can. next county over you must wear them. both counties the infection rate is very low. I dont think Texas has been hit very hard. It would be tragic if we all endured so much only to have a relapse. i just hope they can get the economy going safely again. One thing in good supply here tho Frozen pizza.....we will survive. Take good care
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