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Tachi

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About Tachi

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Son
  • Date of Death
    today
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    na

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Hurst Texas

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  1. Wood burning fire is one of the most relaxing scents known to mankind. Its funny that for all the modern this and that we praise the older-fashioned places bring such comfort. You dont need anything fancy. But sounds like where you are brings you great benefits. Few kids these days I think understand, i dont think they could even stand the peace and quiet. I think id buy a camera and actually read the directions lol. Life is so very odd. After two days of total weakness my Dad is better than hes been in awhile. They did urinalysis, chest xrays, bloodwork and all clean. hes been sleeping well, napping alot but hes strong and even walked without his walker yesterday, even sat in his rocking chair on the back porch. Curious to see how long this lasts. I even think his tremors are better. Sad thim w/ him regarding his throat...he always thinks hes fine, nothing is wrong, he doesnt have any issues. I tried talking about his throat etc and he dismisses it like a fairytale. What ive learned is he is at risk for getting food in his resp tract and getting infection and pneumonia. Will keep trying but unless HE thinks he needs help he wont even listen. Tragic thing is that he knows nothing. Went food shopping a couple days ago and was pleased there was plenty, esp meats. Didnt check the paper aisle but am sure it was empty. Not sure what people are doing but we're fine for awhile. Enjoy the nature for me when you can. There is a magic to the sounds and interplay of light and shadow. Take good care
  2. One must have priorities after all. Sounds like you live in a really nice place, would be amazing peace and quiet. For the second dayt Dad was too weak to get out of bed. He soaked it as well. he says he cant turn over but he sure tears it up trying. I spent 3 hours and several trips to the doc to get him a peetest, no UTI. His new doc is awesome and asked me to bring him in asap and she looked. BP etc were good, his lung and O2 weird a lil. So they did blood and we went for chest xrays so will see tomorrow if he has pneumonia. he is so brainfogged as well, its scary. Doc says our O2 levels drop at night so his must be dropping to where it affects his brain else his alzheimers/etc is really destroyung his brain. This was a big drop and it came on suddenly. but I have figured something out. Since ive been back (3 or 4 years) he has 'drainage' and his breathing gurgles, he also has issues when he eats, he claims drainage, where he chokes and coughs. But last night as we were discussing being dehydrated he said he drinks until hes full and if he drinks any more it comes out. That if he leaned forward all the water would come out. What I think is he has bad issues with swalowing, so the water is being trapped either in his throat or his upper respiratory tract. Thus he gurgles when he breathes, thus he chokes and coughs because the water and food dont pass through his throat to his stomach, thus he is 'severely' dehydrated, adding to his weakness. he and I had the talk about responsibility. he thinks he will just do as he wants and I told him I am legall responsible for him and if he did something stupid and got hurt I get in trouble. he never ever thinks what I say is true, even when he has no idea he will always say im wrong. Tbh I dont know how long I can do this. I havent had a shower and didnt have coffee. My dad was so out of it today that he has no idea whats going on. If this is our everyday now then im sorry but he will need to go into a Home. I havent studied in a week. Anyway, I dont knowwhere this came from or what happened to him but we need to get him healthy again. Wish I could stargaze in your yard, sounds like the peace I need. I think ill grab a shower after the news, maybe soak a bit. take good care and hoe the store went well
  3. Couple weeks ago I got some commercial TP on amazon, lol. Reserves. Definitely stay warm and get some hot tea or cocoa. I think like alot of folks I get too wrapped up in whats going on, the bad stuff and worry. But theres a need to step back and look fro a different view. Theres a part of us thats very important that is connected to nature. At least for me thats very strong. It just soaks in and soothes all the pain. I could have stood there for hours. When it gets a bit warmer im hoping to sit on the backporch at night and do some dreaming. The yard has taken on something of a wild look. personally I love it, but its not how people have their yard so....yes, nature nurtures, good for the soul. And doesnt that make perfect sense. God made tghe world, the animals, annd Man. We are the caretakers of these. Doesnt it make sense that we have a strand of nature running through us? Take cae of yourself, stay warm.
  4. Sounds like you're surviving hang in there. They just friday or last night statewide shutdown. Carryout and delivery food only, doctors etc open, drugstores and ups/fedex oen. Grocery stores open. But I think everything else now is closed. Im in the dalllas-ft worth area. We havent had alot of virus here yet, tho it is growing. Other areas like Cal and NY they say are the worst. I've managed to get enough TP for a month or so and been food shopping twice and seem to get enough to live on. I dont want to go out but have no choice. They are limiting by law purchse sizes on TP, seriously. Cant find paper or cleaners but have a bit. My dad has been scaring me to death. The past couple days his tremors get so bad he cant eat. He is either having lucid dreams or hes hallucinating and hes so weak he cant get out of bed w/out help. he also has a brainfog. I called his doctors, who are closed but wanted to book an appt. Instead an ER doc called me back. Since he doesnt have fever or vomiting shes having me come down to get a specimin bottle tomorrow and get his urine smaple in for testing. maybe a UTI thats really messing him up. hes been peeing too much for a couple weeks and has a urology appt tuesday. But she wanted to get the sample in case they need to start antibiotics. Hes been totally out of it the past few days but I think he does understand whats going on tho not sure fully. hes also been sleeping alot more than normal. I think you can make your own hand sanitizer if you can get the ingredients, alcohol and aloe and something else. Wow, youre getting snow. We've had 50s to 80 and manyt days overcast and rainy. I love the rain so this is good weather for me Last night I stood in the doorway and listened to the rain for awhile, felt the cool breeze, its therapeutic, washes over you. Take good care of yourself and if theres something you need let me know. Maybe they will get some here and i'll send.
  5. Just wanted to check in and ask how you laides are doing. has been a crazy year here so far and going way too fast. We have a stock of toilet paper, almost out of napkins, a bottle of hand sanitizer and enough food for a few weeks, so i guess we're ok. Dad is still up and down and we got him a wheelchair last week to use for trips to doctors. Ive spent the last two weeks on insurance, finding foods etc etc etc. now the test centers are all closed for at least a month. Not ready anyway. We are not on lockdown here yet altho shortly they will close all restaurants and gyms and bars. but keep food stores, banks, and gas stations open. Theres always Amazon if you can find anything in stock. So far we're ok and can find what we need. The yard needs so much work but little time. On the other side of the coin, its 58 degrees with a gentle rain. Beaytifull and soothing. take good care
  6. I agree on the tax credits. Most of the young people ive worked with and managed considered work an extension of school. Not serious and just a place to play and be socially active. If a bit of work just happened to get done that couldnt be helped. Ive had a few who were awesome but most of em....Generally it was the older folks who werent having to check facebook constantly or wait for texts or have soeone want to come in and hang out. They actually understood what a job was and what work was. I remember this last job we had a bigwig coming and I was swamped....had my own worklist, cash office, straightening up and filling merchandise. And one of the kids blew up at me because I wouldnt do his job while he sat in the cooler and filled cokes for 6 hours. Did my boss support me? nope. And part of the reason I walked out . Your job sounds awesome. Its only as good as the boos they say. I think i've had two good bosses in my lifetime and both werent respected by their companies, which expected them to play the game and be good ole boys and treat people like $%^&. I havent stepped inside a target since and a Walgreens maybe twice. All my life I have known yet never taken care of my future. I dont know why. Ive seen certain things coming that happened and I wasnt prepared. I guess its human nature to want security for the future. I 'had' a plan but Life disagreed with me, Life won. Well, plenty in the present to take care of. You do what you can and breath. Thats what im learning, do your best then just let it go. Take good care
  7. I hope they work out too. But i dont have near enough to retire on. Too bad im not a writer. then i could work from home. No skill and no idea what to write about. That is my great fear, That I could do the job but they wont want to hire an old man as a beginner in IT. I pray theres more to life after this but not betting on it.
  8. Sadly esp since I wont be working for a few years here I can never retire. Ive only worked for junk jobs that paid junk matching. I had wanted to get into 3D artwork and work tgat til the end. That didnt work out. It will be difficult I think finding meaningful work at the mid 60s but i have little choice anymore. Thank you for many kindnesses. yes your Mom was blessed also. When my dad passes i will be free to go wherever i please but it will probably be too late. But yes somewhere safe and near or in the trees. I dont want anything fancy or materialistic. Ive learned some important lessons, like valuing my Time and people. When I think about all those years I hadnt a clue, wasted time.
  9. Something i've considered is that after my dad passes I am not tied to anywhere. I woud love to be near nature and the woods. But sadly will have to work util the day i die. I just pray my studies in IT will be enough to find a job that pays the bills. Life is all worry these days im afraid.
  10. Thanks, that is a new software Unreal Editor. Its used to make games and do architectural rendering. but the best thing about it is I can go in live and walk around. The wind blows and the water flows. Really cool software.
  11. I almost moved to Oregon years back. Beautiful area from what ive seen. I love doing landscapes and playing with light, rather I used to.
  12. I dont know if he will have anything left when he goes. Seems he forgets he needs to leave something for funeral and estate expenses. He is at a point where he comes up with things around the house he wants to get fixed that really dont need it. Maybe it makes him feel normal. I setup his amazon prime with a purchase pin tonight so he doesnt accidentally buy channels and movies. Hes spent a huindred bucks this month on shows he doesnt watch. Ive shown him how to tell if theyre included in prime but he just doesnt understand. Glad your puppy is better, poor thing must have been miserable. Hope he's alright now. You're a good Mom. We used to take an old windup clock and place it wrapped up in a soft old blanket. they say the ticking reminds em of their Mom's heart and comforts them. I think the fee for doing the estate is 10%, its either 5 or 10. I would settle just for him to save his money and leave me something to keep the house going til I sell it. Otherwise will need to get a loan on the equity and I really dont want to take any chances of hurting my credit. If the house should ruin tat then I cant rent an apt or get a job. The future really scares me at this point. Attached please find one of my artworks, very simple but I love blue Take care
  13. Sadly dad doesnt walk. anymore he is tied to his walker. the neurologist and I tried to get him to exercise and work on his balance but he never has. Now hes too weak. he wont walk outside at all. I got him a daylight bulb which gives off same light as sunlight so his brain thinks its day and he will sleep at night. But like everything he does it for awhile then stops and wont listen. Like the wrist weights his neurologist suggested. I know my brother and I will go at it when dads gone, dad wont tell him that what ive done with the estate has his blessing. He is also talking about getting some things fixed around here, that really dont have to be done. But i think he sees he has some money so wants to spend it. He is supposed to save that for expenses when he is gone. because I cant afford it. At this point im worried to death that when the time comes I will be faced with either going broke to get things done else just walk away. Theres a funny thing that neither my dad nor bro understand. That by law I am entitled to get paid for my service. dad thinks hes getting a freebie cause he gives me room and board. I dont really care about getting paid, i just want him to cover his expenses. When that time comes there is the way ive planned and is the only way the estate gets settled fairly and wout me going broke or bankrupt. If those things happen i will be out on the street. One thing ive learned is to trust my own judgment and not my family's. My back will be against the wall so going to war will not be a problem. How is the puppy? just think when it gets warm you two and go walk in the yard and play catch. Hmm, honestly, i wouldnt be mentioning you were in all those bad storms or someone may try and put two and two together.....of corse maybe theyd pay you to go live somewhere warm. I was born in Chicago and remember the times we were snowed in, although you had it much worse. I still love the cold but not as much. Im sorry you were married to a narc, people dont understand until theyve dealt with one, it can be very scary. I liken it to a psychotic, to the devil. Think i'll go play with some artwork. take good care
  14. Mom had an old Presbyterian cookbook. It also had many notes and recipes from her and other ladies in the families past, quite the treasure. My dad didnt see any value in it. I do and I wanted to give it to my brother's wife. But he didnt think she'd care. Bro has been asking me to save for him a couple expensive 'heirlooms' from my parents ...dads possessions. to which i told him they arent mine and he has to ask dad. he never asks dad and when I mention it to Dad he gets testy and says no, he gets no special favors. Bro keeps asking about some service set that if dad has it is quite the collectors item and bro wants that. Dad says it never existed. Now, my bro wants to have the 'heirlooms'...meaning he wants to get the expensive things from dads estate. dads still alive. Bro wants me to research Mom's glassware and antique dish sets, determine a value and seel them on ebay. Lol. Not onlyt do I not have time, I would insist on being wellpaid. he wants free labor. Not happenin. When dad passes my brother is going to be a pain. he is a narcissist like Dad. he keeps telling me what I need to do in life, unfortunately he gives very bad advice. His advice on IT career fields and the possibilities for me are dead wrong. Tbh I dont consider him family, I no longer have one. Anyway, we have family in Cali that I havent heard from in many years. Dad doesnt like them and always talks them down. They were mad I think about some family matters and of course my dad insists everyone do things his way. But, wanting this cookbook to go to someone who appreciates it, and seeing that my cousin had written Dad asking about it.....I mailed it to her. I knew she would appreciate it as the heirloom it is. But they had moved. the new owners called her son and he mailed it to them in Vermont. Got a very sweet letter from her a couple days ago thanking me for the cookbook. She added abrief account of what the other cousins are doing and offered to stay in touch. Way my dad is everyone has to come to him and when they dont he badmouths em. me included. But it was such a surprise that she got the book and wrote to me. My dad on the other hand is slowly going downhill, and refuses to listen to anyone. he watches TV all day remote in hand clicking like mad. Except he cant understand whats free and what he pays extra for. ive show him several times but I just dont think he has the awareness. This month has been ten movies, a years sub to the PGA channel and several movie channels. And he doesnt want anything he has to pay extra for. Sigh, hope youyre all doing well, waiting for Spring....
  15. That puppy is so adorable.....you'll have to get him a couple toys...like your shoe lol. I read here and there the Dementia Reddit....and im thinking that when my dad just sits there and stares down he is lost in it. Read an article on how an opera singer connected with her elder Mom by playing her favorite songs and getting her to sing. At dinner every day I try and play on the Alexa some of his music and keep him connected. Seems to work a bit. he spends his afternoons watching movies etc, which is better than just staring but dont know if his mind is engaged or is just babysitting. we are 66 today and climbing, I feel guilty for enjoying this. yes ma am I did get the impression you stay very busy. I hope you remember to save some time to relax and play with the new puppy. That cuteness does deman attention. Take good care
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