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Tachi

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About Tachi

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Son
  • Date of Death
    today
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    na

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Hurst Texas

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  1. True...I will do what I can without surrendering myself. As i'm finding out life is very hard at best. Just do the best we can. Thats the measure of a life and not wealth and fame. I suppose we are all in our own fog of sorts. his moreso I think. For what you've come through in life and ended up the person you are , well you're a good person. Thank you
  2. Thank you for your kindness. I have enough trouble and I cant imagine the strength you have. Will definitely do some reading so thanks for the suggestions. he had that fall a week ago and although it seems all he suffered were pulled and bruised muscles he is still sore and weak. I explain how sore muscles and all that work but he just totally ignores. Mom passed a year ago this coming saturday and he is thinking of her and at times seems very sad and lost. i can understand. He just wont let me help. Will be here if he needs me.
  3. First of all, thank you. Seriously. he has a important need to be in control. Early on he tried being a bully and telling me what to do. We set that straight. But he still tries at times to sneak that in lol. He i believe suffers dementia. He has to understand and dictate what everying means. I dont care except when it will cause harm and then i will respectfully and casually tell him truth. he will argue his misconception til hell freezes over. Anyway, you know how that goes. Its like someone is walking down the tracks and the train is coming but they wont listen when you tell em to get off the tracks. I think all I can do is help correctly when he asks. The last stage of my life begins when he passes so this is a breather to re educate and improve my mind and physical shape. I am trying to hold the line financially so that I have as much as i can for the transition. I am grateful he lets me stay here while I study. I dont think at this time i could make a living off what they pay lower retail mgt here. I would be working two jobs and not studying. I seem to have learning issues so is very frsutrating. I had decided i wont be sitting here trying to sell this home and going broke. If we can get the estate set up in time then when the time comes I will be able to sell the home etc, else i will be hoping my big bro agrees on selling the home (joint heirs). If he causes delays then I wont waste my money here but go ahead and find work and an apt and either bro can buy out my interest or the bank can foreclose, maybe out of that we get to split whats left, no idea how it works when the bank sells the home. My hope is just to survive and get back to artwork. Whatever happens it wont be fun and will probably be very painful. One must do what one must do. I dont think Life is about fun anymore. You get here and have to do the best you can. I will do my best. If it comes to it i'm walking away and my brother will deal with it from Cali. just need to find out if I do and the bank forecloses, since the house will sell for more than the mortgage do we get the excess. Ok, book over, sorry. Thank you for the kind words of caring and take good care of yourself.
  4. I think you may be right. At times he seems his old self and at times he just seems to not care. Is hard to explain but guess its his narcissism...he is king of the castle and center of the universe. Whatever he says is true because he said it. No matter what he does it isnt wrong and no matter how he acts he is never rude. If you tell him anything that he doesnt wish to hear he just acts like you're not even there. He will not let me take care of him nor help him. he gets some crazy ideas that are wrong but he wont listen, because in order for him to be who he is his youngest son is seen as an idiot child. Yet I still do what I can to make him safe and try to keep him as happy as he can be. He has been somewhat this way for years but after his stroke got much worse. There were things he could have done after his stroke and things he could do now to feel better, but he doesnt listen. For the last week or so he has been complaining variously of weakness and soreness (he took a tumble) yet he wont go to the doctor. I may be a terrible son but i'm not having a huge fight trying to get him to go. He also hasnt been eating like he used to. The last few days he has been sleeping a few extra hours a day. Thats how Mom was the week before she passed. I know he has probably given up and doesnt care and i dont know how to help. He doesnt think he needs help. Everytime he naps or sleeps I fear he wont wake up. And I guess im selfish because not only will we lose him but his estate isnt ready yet and that would send my life into hell. Meaning trying to get a job in retail mgt at 61, which wont pay enough, and probably going broke waiting for probate and get everything settled. I can and yet cant really imagine how he feels. I think it would be much better for him if my brother and his wife were here instead of me. All I can do is the best I can. Thank you for listening.
  5. Thanks, aiming at end of month, things just dont stick like they used to. The anniversary of mom passing is the 13th, going to try and be there for dad. he just doesnt seem to want any help or support at all. I dont think he cares for me very much. I'm trying to take what care of him i can and not interfere but i've noticed he will either totally ignore me when i say something hes not interested in or just dig in with the opposite of what i tell him. Just dont know that I can do anything to help. Maybe you folks understand it but i'm totally lost. Now he wants to have the funeral home post an obit for Mom in the paper. At the time he didnt because he didnt think anyone in town would remember her. I see so many things that would help him, but theres nothing I can do. Plants....when I rented a house before moving home I did the yard and found i could grow things outside well. Inside plants were another matter, nothin doin. If you're planting outside place it so it gets the rising sun and is sheltered from mid day sun on. keep the roots mulched and cool.
  6. I apologise, not getting notifications, must be hitting my spam filter. Glad you're well, those are nothing to take lightly. Trying to get ready for the exam still. have a devil of a time remembering things. I understand the material but just dont retain well. just seem really distracted. Looking at ways to keep it in better....and get back to doing artwork. dad's hanging in there, we get along better but he still doesnt listen. It's like he always has to say the opposite and defend it to the death lol. Are you planning on doing any gardening? Miss my old one, take care
  7. Just thinking about you ldies and wanted to see how everyone is doing. Just trying to study, keep my dad going, and trying to get his estate finished up. Have an atty working on a Muniment of Title to free up the deed on the house so we can do a Ladybird deed. That way when Dad is gone the house will pass to me without probate. Thinking about the people/family up north...aweful weather.
  8. So so true. What we forget is that most of the larger companies that exist across borders aren't really American. they are global entities that only care for their own profits. They do what is needed to max the bottom line. That usually means presenting good customer service and all that jazz. They care when its required by law and when the Board makes them make a 'show' for the sake of public image. When I worked at target years back one of my friends' wife was my asst mgr. he went to Okla City w/ her for meetings. he said they would read concerns and complaints from customers and make fun of them and laugh. I have seen way too much of this attitude over the years at many levels. Companies seem to not hire for character. We had the top exec of one employer of mine who kept getting DUIs and no one cared. One thing you might ask your son about because i'm not sure if they still do this but maybe they could send you the updates on a CD or little thumbdrive instead. My dad also has windows 7 as he really hates the new look starting with 8. Win8 looked like a cell or tablet and they got so many complaints they added the older desktop look back in 8.1. When my dad got a new phone last week we needed to call support, very hard to understand. First call dad tried and hung up. So I called back, very hard to understand. She needed to talk with dad but he passed the phone to me and refused to talk to her, he just couldnt understand her. I explained it all but she said she still needed to talk to him so I hung up. Next call I got a guy and he spoke with only a hint of accent so all good. Customer service is funny. When the economy went down it was so so serious that we gave great service. For my old company it was supposed to be job1. In my dealings as a consumer and customer I am often shocked at how things are done and how bad I am treated. They should never feel like they can alienate a customer. It reflects their inability to do their job. Anyway, it will only get worse im afraid. Its getting to the point where when I have a bad experience I refuse to do business with that company. Well, we can hope for the best. take care of yourself. Hope you get to see the kids.
  9. It used to be that users had alot of control over the pc. I could go in and know which processes were needed, what I could turn off and what were viruses. Now my laptop runs about 1 of em and they have most of the control. They say they want to make it easier for the average user, which is good. But there is no way to minimize control. IF they could do this properly and be trusted then it would be ok. But i've read articles about them releasing unfinished things and forcing users without asking to test things out. Like the October update that was erasing people's pictures. I think corporately they have the attitude of they will do what they please. When i got my present desktop in order to activate windows I had to provide the number from the sticker. But their bright idea was to hide the first half of it with a scratchoff covering. problem was it wasnt made properly and it immediately scratched right thru, no code, no activation. In searching google I found this was a widespread issue that Microsoft didn't think was their fault. basically everyone involved pointed at someone else and businesses and consumers were often left in the cold. They did finally activate mine after I emailed two pics of the damaged sticker and my drivers license...which is a big no-no....and the lady did the remote help to activate it. No clue if I will get help if say I need to reinstall windows. Too big for their britches and they forgot that the customer made them rich.
  10. Ouch, thats why I dont let em run on their own, besides they would interfere with a graphics project and nothing like losing an hour's work. There are several little softwares that enable the PC to connect to the net. One is a 'driver' that allows the piece of hardware that does the connection work to communicate with Windows and connect you. Sometimes when Windows updates it needs a new driver to work properly. Best bet would be to let your son have a look. There are a bunch of things to check in order to be thorough but if it was working and the only change was the update then I would suspect the update first. Microsoft is evil
  11. Stay safe with that snow. Microsoft is taking heat for the issues with their updates. The October monthly update was erasing picture files for some people. I wonder if they really know what they are doing. If you dont make it to your son's I believe there is a way to rollback an update and return the pc to how it was before. Does it try and fail to connect or wont it do anything at all? If you left click the little icon in the right of the bottom taskbar it is supposed to bring up a list of available connections, does it do this at all? I guess i'm lucky because my laptop doesnt want to download them. I love the colors and patterns of Christmas so I may use this as an excuse to get a couple things for the room Take care
  12. Thanks, started working on dads estate again. he doesnt see why he cant just give it to me. The deed to the house went missing so had to get another from the County. Mom's will was never probated, because someone didnt understand that needs to be done to remove her name from the deed before you can do anything with the house. We get to do that now, rather I do. What I want for Christmas is to find peace. I had intended to decorate my room and just havent had time, maybe tomorrow. At least i talked dad into getting a small fake tree and he seems to like it, so theres hope. I'm going to get Christmas dinner at the deli like Thanksgiving, turned out good. This is the first Christmas season in over 30 years I havent gone crazy working retail, i'm just sad Mom isn't here to share that. She always loved the smell of bell pepper and anytime she would cook with one she would leave the top slice on the sink counter, I do that too just for her. Have a Merry Christmas...and Marty merry Christmas and thank you. I hope Santa brings each of you something special. Dad told me not to get him anything but I had already gotten it. he always says that and I never listen. I am trying to be frugal and the estate work will be expensive but when i consider this could be dad's last Christmas I think i'll get him a couple presents. Take good care of yourself.
  13. Yes I dont think i've ever had a sitdown job. never had a m-f -5 job either. Always having to work crazy hours and holidays. Well, not this year. Sadly I dont think Dad cares that its almost Christmas. he doesn't believe in God and since he is a narcissist and thinks he is perfect he doesnt see why he needs to be saved. I think he only ever did anything at Christmas because of Mom. He seems tired here lately and im sure hes sad. I miss Mom too. Going to drag the decorations down from the attic tomorrow and try and do some decorating. He already told me he sees no point in having a tree. I've already told him i'm getting a small artificial one. Being a narcissist and perfect he believes that what he thinks is the only way to think. So he assumes that I think like he does and that hasnt been true since I was ten years old. I guess he was spoiled by Mom, she loved him so much she agreed with everything he said and told him how wonderfull. She was his enabler. The things we do for love. On a good note and i will honestly give God all the credit...I passed my first exam with 80%. I felt there was no way I would pass it and wasn't ready. But when i got in there i was totally relaxed and finished the exam with a half hour to spare. I should have gone over it again but was ready to end it. Many things from the material that i still cant do so will start studying for the second exam and find a way to catch the rest from the first, cheer dad up a bit and decorate for Christmas. I will say it again, thank you folks for your kindness and I hope you have a Merry Christmas. God bless and keep you.
  14. These devices are in a very early stage, but things like playing music and reading a book or finding you a recipe. Now they have some with a small screen like a laptop. My dad....as I have come to find out is a narcissist. The world revolves around him, he is alwys right and he gets very mad if you disagree with him. Even in the face of overwhelming professional testimony to the opposite he just refuses to listen. I have learned to not take his advice or believe what he says. he has several times told me something about business matters that I refused to follow his advice because he was very wrong, he got angry and argues like his life depends on it and then later argues again for the opposite side. Its rather difficult because I always have to show a solid front or he will take advantage of me. He feeds on being the authority and telling people how things are, ego. Now, he wants to be friends with the widow lady across the street. he says not date but just someone to talk to. Since he lost Mom he has no one to make him feel like a king. Mom spoiled him. The week before she passed she had told me how much she loved him. And how much he had changed with his stroke. She said she didnt know him anymore. Honestly I dont think he cared about her, and I think it was that way to some degree for some time. I was working on her old laptop because its so very slow. We had offered to get her a new one but she would fight it. Come to realise that she was having issues for a long time that just kept getting worse. She built a routine that helped her cope and feel normal. Sadly I didnt really understand until after she had gone. I dont know if she would have gotten help or if she would just have been traumatized. But her withdrawing from the public, not wanting to drive. The time she got lost going to see dad ib rehab, very simple drive but dad being a jerk gave her his directions with alot of shortcuts. Either he didnt understand how she was or he was just being cruel. From what i've seen he was being cruel. he tends to bully weakness. You remember that he and I have butted heads before. I will never give an inch because I know that means a fall. He misses having someone to run over and run their life. Mom really did love him and sacrificed for him. I guess growing up means finding out life isnt pretty. Sorry to go on, doing some thinking, hope you folks are enjoying the cooler weather and the trees etc. personally I love fall the most I think. The old Norse heritage perhaps. You folks take care.
  15. Lol sorry, a DOT is a small round device from Amazon that has the Alexa assistant built in. If you've never seen the Alexa it is tied to your amazon account. It can do many things for you like play songs, answer questions, order things on amazon. Its the first wave of the wired technology home. Remember the Jetsons? I think one day alot of that will be true. You can even talk thru it to someone you know who has one. It has a female voice, very good manners but is limited by her programming, definitely has potential. he says the babbling Brook really works so good for him. It's rather sad how so many companies go away from customer service. Thats an archaic view and one many large companies take on their own equipment...if it runs don't worry about it. At least you found a way to make things work. I have to have my white noise too, and feel a slight breeze from that fan, love cool weather so a cool room is a must.
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