MariesBabyGirl1990

😃 My friend was just here also and has just left so it was nice to spend some time with her and have a good aul laugh. 😂

Absolutely! @Widowbysuicide & @Kayc 😎😎 I feel so much more at ease knowing i can talk to him and I feel so much better. I am seeing him this coming week so it is definitely a positive 😍 and i know i ave someone i can relay and count on. Me and my husband didnt go out today, he was exhausted from work and i was a little tried myself so i didnt mind so much - we will do it again im sure sometime... I am just sitting down to relax now and throw a pizza in the oven in a few minutes. Im just gonna have a chill night and watch my soap and then 7th Heaven and Touched by an angel. I love them shows, its kinda like when i am watching them, the whole world just stops or everyone else in the world is sleeping. Its so peaceful and relaxng and i just zone out of everyday life and sit on my recliner with my blanket and pillow and my mam's scarf and just chill out. MariesGirl xx😃

He is 6 years old Kayc, and he is my whole world ❤️ i would do absolutely anything for him, i love him more than life itself id take a bullet for him, or go do time for him - thats how much i love my only baby boy, he is absolutely everything to me, as he was to my mam xxx

Thank you so much Widowbysuicide. You have no idea how hard and difficult this time has been for me... Last night i broke down and called my therapist. I was a mess and felt so incredibly bad for calling... He was so kind and caring about it though and called me back and i said i would talk about it when he gets home. He sent me a text this morning and then called me just to make sure that i was ok. It so sweet and so thoughtful to know i have someone in my life who cares about me and wants the best for me. Thats how my mam was... I miss her so desperately and need her now more than ever... 🤔 In a way though, i am so extremely lucky to have met such a humble and caring counselor who wants to help me through this. I am counting down the days til i get back there again 🙏 which i know wont be long at all thank god 🙏, and then ill finally be as ease and be able to completely relax. ❤️ It means more than anyone will ever know to have someone in my life who cares so deeply about what i am going through. Tomorrow my husband says he wants to take me out to a Chinese restraint for dinner. i am looking forward to it as its been a few weeks since ive been out, let alone had any time just for myself,  Lets hope it goes smoothly and no arguments.... lets just wait and see....

MariesBaby xx 💖

On 9/18/2018 at 2:09 AM, Kieron said:

How insensitive.  You've every right to feel as you do.  Such treatment is inexcusable.  😬

On 9/18/2018 at 3:05 PM, Marg M said:

Kori, on my DNA profile I am mostly Irish.  No big surprise, red hair, freckles.  When Billy and I fussed, Daddy always asked me what had I done.  (He knew me).  He was wrong a lot of times though.  Not the support we expect.  I'm sorry.  Husbands sometimes are wrong also and if it had become physical, your dad would have jumped right in. Your dad is probably still in shock and might not even remember it happening.  I forgot so much soon afterwards.

On 9/18/2018 at 2:04 PM, kayc said:

It doesn't sound like his statement came from a loving safe place.  I'm glad you're going to counseling, personally I think most of us have needed it at some time or another!  It helps to get that fresh perspective from someone who knows how to gently guide us into figuring it all out!  

Thank you for sharing that photo with us, she's beautiful and I'm glad you have those good memories to treasure within you.

On 9/18/2018 at 2:12 AM, Widowedbysuicide said:

I'm sorry you are being treated this way.  It certainly is not very considerate.  Good luck at councelling, I hope it will help you with everything.

Beautiful picture 🌹

 

On 9/18/2018 at 2:09 AM, Kieron said:

How insensitive.  You've every right to feel as you do.  Such treatment is inexcusable.  😬

Thank you so much everyone for you encouraging and kind words. Unfortunately i didn't go to counseling today as my therapist inst available and hasn't been for some time - absolutely no fault of his own and i understand completely. Its still incredibly hard though especially the waiting part, i just prey with everything i have that im going tomorrow - please keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer for m that i get to go. I don't want to find a different counselor as i feel completely comfortable with where im at, and it took me so long to find someone who i can trust completely and open up to.

Last night he was at me AGAIN because i was in my friends house, and didn't get home till after 9. He was giving out and moaning because my son had school today and was supposed to be in bed by or at 8. He never gets him to bed on time so i don't see what the big deal is to be honest...

His statement didn't come from a safe place at all. He was so menacing with his words the way he spoke to me was awful 😥 My dad did remember the next day cause all he kept saying to me was "make your peace with your hubby, please, for me" Its all about me, me, me, in me da's eyes if im completely honest... im so sick of it, im f****** sick of it all at this stage. 😕 I just HAVE and NEED to get back to therapy ASAP before i snap, because i cant do this anymore!!! im almost at my breaking point with all of this s***! So please everyone, just prey i go back tomorrow or soon cause i am so so stressed out.... im actually so stressed i think i am coming down with something... yippie(!) NOT 😞😩😷

All my love,

Kori Xx

Thank you so much everyone for your kind and thoughtful replies 😌 You are all so incredibly sweet - It means so much to me that I have people on here that i can talk and relate to. I hope you are all doing ok, I am sorry there are so many names to mention, but just know - that I am thinking of each and everyone of you.

desperately

Me and my husband got into another argument the other night... He said i "need the men in white coats to come and take me away" I felt so alone and shocked as my dad witnessed the whole thing and didn't once step in to defend me 😨☹️😥 He also stated to my dad that "Did something happen to Kormeera in her childhood, shes so f****** angry its unbelievable!" I was shocked: and still am almost a week or possibly more. . I don't know what to do, I feel as if im falling into a deep hole that i cant get out of... All is can say is THANK GOD i'm going back to counseling on Wednesday because i desperately need it, and cannot take much more of this bullshit! 😡 Sorry For Ranting Off

Much love to you all, Kori xoxo

Thank you so much to everyone for your replies. They mean so so much to me. Your right @Kieron it does say more about him. ****** (I had to censor his name in case anyone on here knows his name) is such a narcissistic person with a narcissistic personality. Its ALL about him - he has not once considered my feelings in all of this and what has being going on... I go to therapy and its helping, but its a slow process for me. as i feel im not ready to talk or open up completely yet as im afraid if i start to cry ill never ever stop. He just doesn't get it ugh!!! 😩😤😖😨😖😤

Marg M, Gwenivere, widow '15 I think this is so truly beautiful that you each have your own unique ways of coping. ♥️ I think that its so lovely and nice to hear that you have pillows or clothes etc that bring you comfort. I also have two night dresses belonged to my mam, i sit with one when i am watching tv and hold onto it. And the other one i sleep with every single night. I also have a suitcase full of some of her favorite clothes and her favorite leather jacket... now i dont feel so weird about doing what i do. (If that makes scene)

My husband has told me numerous times that im crazy for doing this, and that i "need help" in relation to the suitcase. Its hurtful - he has lost both his grandparents so if anyone he should understand what i am going through... But no one does no one seems bothered or as if they even care anymore...😭 thats how i feel to be honest. I happy that my dad decided to post something on here... and ill ask him if he would like to say more, obviously i will do it on his behalf once that is ok with Mods and everyone? We still cant talk to each other about what has happened though....😥😥

Hi everyone, i hope its OK, but I am posting this on behalf of my dad (Frank) as he doesn't have an account. So he wanted to say a few words, and for me to write them down for him. "It's nearly 3 years now, and i still miss you very much. I know you help me in many ways in spirit, and my family. I miss talking to you, giving out to you, you nagging me, which is all part of our coming together. I visit you often, and talk to you in my own way, I hope you can hear me conversing with you from heaven. Till we meet again - I love you my darling always x x x x x x

😊

No need to apologize at all A&K i totally and completely understand. I hope you are doing ok. I sometimes feel the exact same way you do. I go to post a reply - and the worlds just simply wont come. just know that i am here if you ever need to talk or if you ever just need a friend. I am here to listen, I will never ever judge because off of us on here are in the same boat. Take care love

MariesBabyGirl XX

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is allowed on here and if not I apologize. I just want to let you all know that you can add me on Facebook or Instagram. I have posted about this in my bio - but cant add the links. So here is my usernames:

Kormeera Marie Comerford Keane (F)

Kormeera_Marie (I)

Love to all xx

Thank you so much for your replies Kieron & Kayc. i hope you are both keeping well XxX

Hi everyone, i am new to this group. My beautiful mam passed away in Oct '15. ever since that harrowing night i have been smoking cigarettes. before that day i never smoked a day in my life (expect for experimenting with cigarettes. i tried one - wasn't keen)  i also have a lung condition - I was born at 27 weeks gestation and am lucky to be here today. I'm 28 years old. I was too young to lose my mam. She was my best friend i was so extremely close to her and miss her beyond life itself. So anyway, i started smoking the night she passed... I could smoke up to about 10/15 a day, it depends i suppose. If im stressed i find i smoke a hell of a lot more. My breathing has become awful. i have been back and fourth to the emergency room with it countless time but i am always dismissed and told "its all in my head" or "that i am fine". expect for one time,  a very nice nurse ran a whole battery of tests and she bluntly said to me in a very nice way that if I DON'T stop smoking now - that i wont see 30 years old. I couldn't believe it, but yet, here i am still smoking. i cant give up, im not ready yet and i don't want to. My son is 6 years old and i know that he needs me around but i will be ok, i know i will. everybody is on my back about me smoking, me da, me husband, me family Why cant they just leave me alone and mind their own business? Its my life and i should be able to live it the way i choose to... Am i selfish for smoking? Its how i can cope the best. I really do find it helps me... I know that may sound strange.. but it does, i cant explain it, but it does.

MariesBabyGirl xxx

Annabella, i am so very sorry you and your family are going through this - please know that i am always here if you ever need or want to talk xxx