In March my dearest Kiro was hit by a car and killed. No one’s fault, just one of those things that “shouldn’t have happened.” I’ve had a lot of cats and escorted them through their lives and deaths, but I feel stuck with this one – stuck in the grief and the tears. Yes, he was the most amazing cat I’ve ever had – riding in a wheelbarrow while I gardened, great sense of humor, my “everywhere buddy,” as affectionate and well-adjusted as they come. But I feel like I’m not dealing with his grief in the right way, because it doesn’t seem to be moving or shifting. I read something on one of the posts about adjusting the thoughts (forgive me if I’m paraphrasing incorrectly) from focusing on the anguish of grief to the something about letting go. I’d love to hear more about that. I feel as if I’m holding onto my anguish about his death as a way of holding him close and keeping him alive. A little of what gets me in trouble is the idea that he still might be around, spiritually. So that when I talk to him, hold him close, tell him how much I love and miss him, he hears, but that also brings up the anguish. If I think of him as “dead and gone,” it feels better, like “get over it, Kathy, he’s gone” but then I feel as if I’m betraying him by abandoning him “psychically.” Make sense?