I don't know how to edit my post but it has been a month and a half and I am deep crying every day. I feel so guilty. I didn't cause her to leave the patio but I didn't notice her gone before we left for dinner-I didn't cause her not to come in but it was late and I should have stayed home after dinner and called for her before all the other animals showed off and scared her from entering her own home. I did check on her at 2"30 in the morning but I went out the wrong door and called for her down the hill when she was in the back of the house on a hill--if I had gone out with a flash light and called for her and left the door open and waited she may have come in. When I opened the door at 6:58 the stupid door alarm which lets us know if someone is entering our home went off and instead of going out the back of the house I should have gone out the door that lead to the hill, If I had done that and called her name I might have scared the coyote enough that she may have come down the hill to me. What I had thought was that the coyote had chased her but now I realize at 7:00 he was spooked into our yard by a neighbor walking his dog and I had opened the door at 6"58--If I had just gone out the right door I might have been able to call for her but I didn't--the only way I suspected anything was because the other two cats were running---being too careful for my neighbors I didn't want to wake I never yelled for her. I just gently spoke her name where I thought she might be. I now realize she probably heard me but was afraid to speak as she probably was being hovered over by that coyote.--she was killed in her own back yard and I did nothing..... I didnt see her, I didn't hear her but I knew something was amiss and I blame myself for not yelling for her or going out the right door or looking for her the night before --could have been prevented.... I feel she wanted me to come save her as I had always done with the cat inside but she didn't cry---nothing that I heard and then I went in the house leaving the door open so she could come in if she wanted--she didn't have the chance as my neighbor saw the coyote with her in its mouth at 7:29--which means she suffered 25 min-----I am sick about it and although I couldn't control her behavior nor the coyotes nor the other outside cats I could have done more.... I cry for missing her and I cry for all the guilt I carry.. I am miserable....
My sweet innocent Jackie Lynn
in Loss of a Pet
Posted
I don't know how to edit my post but it has been a month and a half and I am deep crying every day. I feel so guilty. I didn't cause her to leave the patio but I didn't notice her gone before we left for dinner-I didn't cause her not to come in but it was late and I should have stayed home after dinner and called for her before all the other animals showed off and scared her from entering her own home. I did check on her at 2"30 in the morning but I went out the wrong door and called for her down the hill when she was in the back of the house on a hill--if I had gone out with a flash light and called for her and left the door open and waited she may have come in. When I opened the door at 6:58 the stupid door alarm which lets us know if someone is entering our home went off and instead of going out the back of the house I should have gone out the door that lead to the hill, If I had done that and called her name I might have scared the coyote enough that she may have come down the hill to me. What I had thought was that the coyote had chased her but now I realize at 7:00 he was spooked into our yard by a neighbor walking his dog and I had opened the door at 6"58--If I had just gone out the right door I might have been able to call for her but I didn't--the only way I suspected anything was because the other two cats were running---being too careful for my neighbors I didn't want to wake I never yelled for her. I just gently spoke her name where I thought she might be. I now realize she probably heard me but was afraid to speak as she probably was being hovered over by that coyote.--she was killed in her own back yard and I did nothing..... I didnt see her, I didn't hear her but I knew something was amiss and I blame myself for not yelling for her or going out the right door or looking for her the night before --could have been prevented.... I feel she wanted me to come save her as I had always done with the cat inside but she didn't cry---nothing that I heard and then I went in the house leaving the door open so she could come in if she wanted--she didn't have the chance as my neighbor saw the coyote with her in its mouth at 7:29--which means she suffered 25 min-----I am sick about it and although I couldn't control her behavior nor the coyotes nor the other outside cats I could have done more.... I cry for missing her and I cry for all the guilt I carry.. I am miserable....