Pam Carter

Hello. Since this is an older post, many of you may not get this response. I am starting my third year as a widow since I lost my husband in November 2017. He was sick for 2 1/2 years so I did not experience the daze that many of you have experienced. The first year goes by quickly because there is so much that you have to do that keeps you busy. Also friends and family are there for support. And you are focused on getting through the “firsts”. Christmas, anniversary, birthday, etc. Somehow you think if you can just make it thru that first year, things will be better. But then the second year arrives and it is not better - it is somehow worse. There is not much left to do and friends and family think you are ok. And the reality sets in that this is it. But the second year is also a time for reflection. We all handle grief differently. For me I realized my friends and family were very important. I didn’t just want their sympathy and support. I wanted to continue to be an important part of their lives and to do fun things with them. It takes work to have close friends but it has helped me to replace the large void of losing my dear husband.