Thank you for your input. It is the fact that she died 40 years ago that hurts. When I found out she died it was sad, perhaps a bit more that I felt with the other schoolmates that had passed. But it did not overwhelm me. It was the instant I read that she died so long ago, at such a young age, that the lightning bolt hit. And the sensation is still there. I think back on where I was in life in 1980, a whole lifetime ago, and now knowing she was dead all this time.
I understand what you experienced reconnecting with your old flame, and it demonstrates that these young crushes, which we think we “got over” with the passage of time, still remain inside us. We just chose the bury them so that we can move on. But when they become relevant in our lives again somehow, it’s like something reached inside of minds, took hold of that kernel of buried feeling, and popped them right up to the top of the stack (arcane computer programming jargon).