EvieJo

Just want to say happy Mother’s Day to all mums — and those mums who are no longer with us who we miss every single day xx

Hi, I lost my mum nearly two years ago. She passed away quite suddenly from undiagnosed cancer. She had been going to her doctor for quite some time with symptoms but they refused to investigate and basically fobbed her off. Even suggested it was all in her mind. I feel very angry about this - everyone let her down. This second year without her feels even worse than the first (wasn’t expecting that). of course everyone else has moved on - yet I still feel so lost. She was my anchor in life (my dad was not around much and couldn’t be relied on for anything). Somehow though my mum always made everything ok, even though I know now how much of a struggle things were for her at times. I feel stuck in my past - has anyone else felt like this? I remember my childhood as a happy time which I now treasure. I find myself reminiscing/trying to relive happier times, despite the fact I know things will never be the same. I feel like ‘moving on’ with my life means to leave her behind and finally say goodbye - I just don’t think I will ever be ready though. It is starting to affect my other relationships. I feel resentful of others happiness and don’t want to engage at all. I have tried therapy but it was getting expensive and I don’t think I clicked very well with my therapist and didn’t find him all that helpful. Am I abnormal for feeling this way still? And what can I do. I have a sister but she deals with things very differently from me and also has two children so she has a different focus. Tired of feeling so bloody sad all the time.