GinGin

Thank you all for reaching out so quickly. I know that I am not alone - and that others go through the same horror. It just seems so unfair - and I just keep asking the same question of why over and over. Thank you.

I lost my wonderful husband and best friend Keith 5 weeks ago tomorrow. We were married for 27 years in 2019, and earlier this month was the 29th anniversary of our 1st date. Keith was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer in May and started chemo in June. Obviously the chemo treatments didn't work. When Keith started his treatment he didn't have one symptom and was healthy looking. By looking at him you never would have known what was growing inside of him. Each treatment made him worse, but we held out hope that things would work. It broke my heart to see him have to go through this hell. But we hoped it would be worth it. That was not to be. Keith passed away late on a Sunday evening with me by his side, holding his hand telling him I would be okay and that he could go. What he went through for those 8 months no one should have to go through. So now here I sit home alone, because of this virus I am more isolated than ever, even with text and phone messages from friends and family. Grief meetings have been postponed because of the virus - so now I'm turning to technology for help. I don't know what my new normal should be. I know that I cry daily and that I miss Keith so much. I don't seem to be able to concentrate and get things done - I'm not even really sure how I should feel. I know everyone's "normal" is different - but I'm just trying to reach out for any thoughts or suggestions. I just miss Keith so much - how do I get through this.