paula__

And remember that guilt is always forcing us to think the worst stuff... You did what was right even if it feels so hard to believe at this moment.

I wish you can feel more at peace soon. 

Hi ❤️ I think I get what you feel because sometimes just remembering the last moment of my dog (I had to put her to sleep) makes me break and cry so much. I don't know if this will help you but what I usually do is look at pictures and videos of her... It's heartbreaking because it hurts so much but in a way I feel relief after seeing her and focusing on the good things, like things she was doing in the pictures or just the way she stared with her beautiful eyes. 

I'm sending you love ❤️

Hi everybody, hope you're all doing okay. I put my 14 year old dog to sleep five months ago and I've started to hurt the most lately... It's been gradual sometimes, I got a tattoo of her name during summer because I couldn't stand not having her near me, it sounds strange but having her name on my skin feels like I have her with me in some way.

But I still miss her the most... I feel so alone and I think about how great she was all the time, all our moments together. And lately I've been feeling so low, so sad with myself, like nothing is enough. I've also been having dreams/nightmares about her, I mean I dream that she's alive and I am with her but in my dream I know she's dead. So it doesn't make sense. It's as if in my dreams I refuse to let go of the idea that she's not alive... I don't know what to think about it but I guess it's normal in the grief journey. 

Anyway I feel like the pain gets stronger these days and I find it hard to even talk about her because I start to cry. I feel a stronger connection to her than I've ever felt before and in some way that feels nice and special, but so painful. 

I'm glad that I can come to this forum to share my emotions. 

Hi, I'm so sorry to read your words because I understand the feelings you describe so much, I've come to this forum for help various times since I lost my dog five months ago... And I have been hurting the most lately. But please don't listen to those terrible voices that tell you the easy way to end the pain, I know it's not easy at all to do it, but there has to be a way to get help or relief even if it seems impossible now. Maybe it's talking to a friend, a therapist or people on this forum. Remember that you're not alone in this because you can always express yourself in here ❤️

Also it warms my heart to see all the replies you got, that's something nice. I don't know what else to say to try and make you feel better but I felt I needed to reply ❤️ I'm sending you hope

Hi everyone, I wanted to share something today. Lately I've been avoiding going out because when I go for a walk I use to pass by the same places I went with my dog (passed away three weeks ago) so today I went out and I did it again, I went to the same places and it hit me again just how much I miss her... I've also been avoiding friends because I'd rather be on my own when I go out but I'm afraid I'm just so sad and trying to avoid my emotions to feel less hurt. I feel this empty loneliness and no purpose most of the time too... I try to tell myself that I can get through this if I do it for her, because she would want me to be okay. I must do it and I need to feel stronger... Maybe some of you have felt this way too? 

Anyway I just felt like talking to someone about it, I wish you're all okay

18 hours ago, kayc said:

 @paula__  I hope you do create that spot.  Remember, as their spirit is energy and doesn't die, we have hope of being with them again or even them being here possibly with us, it brings me comfort to think that.  But the spot to go to, that is for us, and I think that's important, whether you do a rock garden or plant a rosebush or order a memorial stone...I got mine here and you can google promo codes for it and possibly get free shipping, I've dealt with them several times, they're great and inexpensive.
https://www.personalcreations.com/product/pawprints-in-heaven-memorial-marker-30192930?q=30192930&start=&spell=&srchSuggestion=y&trackingpgroup=pid

 

Thank you, I'll check it out! Sending you a hug

On 5/24/2020 at 5:27 PM, Coco Forever said:

It seems as though the last month since he passed on has emotionally  played havoc with my body and mind as I’m now starting to blame his death on myself and my partner as we used to let him lick our dinner plates and hands after we had eaten and looking back there would have been salt on these and he mainly died of heart disease so are we to blame for his death?I accept we’ll never know but maybe just maybe he’d still be with us if we had not done these unhealthy habits to him.

I know it's so hard but it's important to avoid those feelings... You would have done anything for him and I guess you knew he enjoyed doing that, having those habits, so it wasn't something bad when you did it. I mean focusing on the good things and good moments with him are the best you can do, I'm sending you love

On 5/23/2020 at 10:09 PM, Coco Forever said:

No but that’s what I now have on my mind as I left him when he’d passed.I don’t no the process regarding when a pet dies at the vets but it fills me with horror every night I go bed how was his body treated when I’d left him.I can only pray the people who collect our dead pets ready for cremation treat them with respect.

I understand you, that's what I tried to describe, thinking about how I left her there and feeling guilty that I didn't have the option to bury her and that getting her ashes was too expensive for me, it breaks me not having a place to go and talk to her, feel that she is there.

I've been thinking of creating some special place for her where I can go and honor her or keep her memory... I don't know I miss her so so much and I keep having dreams that she's alive and that I want to keep her no matter what, and they feel so real. I wish we can get to feel this peace with their absence, feeling a connection with their spirits because it's still them

Thank you for sharing this with me, I'm so glad that you got to make such a special bond with Kodie even after your loss (by the way they're both so beautiful!) and I totally understand what you mean with Arlie... He seems like the one who completes you, who knows you so good and looks for you all the time. I think my passed dog meant that to me too, she will have the most special place in me always. It's so hard to describe how important they can become to us, but I wish I can give my future new companion all the love and create a new bond whenever I feel ready 

Thank you for the articles, they help me feel more understood 

Also, that dream you described seems like the sweetest and warmest thing, I'm happy you got to experience it. Maybe it means she really did come to see you 💛

On 3/3/2020 at 5:37 AM, EK59 said:

Today, March 2nd 2020, has be 4 months since I had to say goodbye to my pet dog pixie

We got her in August of 2008, she was the bestest friend a child like me at the time could ever ask for. Despite being a healthy dog for so many years, in August of 2019 right after I came home from vacation was when her health began to rapidly decline. I kept urging my dad to take her to the vet but instead he would yell at me and say "I already know what the vets are going to tell me."

I don't think he would've known that when we finally took her to a clinic in late October, they told us that she was suffering from some form of lung cancer. Despite how heartbreaking the news was I still remained hopeful and that Pixie still might be able to stay around for another year or two..... she ended up getting much more worse a week later.

Saturday Morning, November 2nd 2019 was the last day I said goodbye to my childhood friend. I felt so helpless standing in the garage watching my dad's car slowly drive off with Pixie wrapped up in her bed in the passenger's seat being taken to her final resting place, at 1:18 pm MST Pixie crossed the rainbow bridge.

Four months later I still break down and cry over this. It just breaks my heart the most that I was told our puppy was being put down at such a short notice and at the most inappropriate time, how I didn't get to be in that final carride with her, and how I wasn't allowed to keep any of her ashes. I can't really talk about my parents because I already feel that they expect me to get over this, my biggest fear is that one day they will throw out pixie's collar, blanket, and bed which are the only things I can remember her by. And while my sister does understand and sympathize with my grief I don't want to seem like a burden and bother her all the time as she has her own responsibilities. I really want to get myself the help I deserve so I can finally heal, but being an unemployed college student my options are severely limited..

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss and the circumstances in which you had to lose your dog... I'm a college student too, I lost my dog just this week and I felt like I understood you while reading this. I wanted to tell you that maybe you could keep your dog's things, nobody should throw them away if they mean so much to you, as they help you remember your dog. And also know that even if you feel your family won't understand why you still can't get through your grief, it's okay, they say grief doesn't have a time, and there's not a good or wrong way of grieving... Just try to take as much time as you need and keep using forums like this whenever you need some support 💛 It seems easy to say it but it's really hard doing it, I know because I'm still figuring out how to deal with this... I just felt like trying to cheer you up. And I wish some day, if you're looking for it, you can get professional help, it may be really good for anyone. I'm sending you a hug 

Hi everyone ❤️ I came new in here a few days ago since I lost my dog this week (I had to put her down) and I need some advice. I loved my dog so much, we had an amazing bond and she was literally a light in my life, I'll keep her forever in my heart and I wish I could still protect her. I was the one in the family who took care of her lately so now at home they all seem to feel better than me, and they want to get a new dog. They know how I feel but they're getting it next week, and I'm okay with it because I will give him plenty of love and a new home, but still I think I'm not ready for it as I'm still grieving the loss of my little one... And I still don't know if I feel at peace with her death, it hurts to look at pictures of her but I also can't stop picturing her and missing her. I'm afraid that having a new dog at home won't help me get through my grief in a good/comfortable way. 

I don't know exactly what advice to ask for, but I guess just some opinions would help. Thank you ❤️

3 hours ago, kayc said:

We love their bodies, even when deceased and want to honor them, but remember, your dog's spirit, the being that is him, is not part of his body anymore.  We think of them in it because their whole life they inhabited it, and we've come to correlate them with it.  But your sweet doggy is in heaven and I totally look forward to the day I can be with mine again.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I got my first dog when I was five and lost him when I was 20, but I never got to say goodbye because my parents didn't tell me they were having him euthanized...he was fine except just old age.  I'm glad you got to be with yours when he passed, I'm sure that made it all the more peaceful.

I'm sorry about that, having the chance to say goodbye is really important... I wish you got to feel better over the years and keep him in your heart always. Thank you for the kind words and the reminder, they mean so much right now. I'm grateful that I found this forum, it's such a nice place for comfort.

5 hours ago, MartyT said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Paula. I hope you will come to realize that when you left your dog's body in that room, you were not leaving behind all the love you shared with her. As you say, she was a part of you, and the love you shared will live forever in your heart and in your memories of her. I am reminded of an article I wrote in response to a mom who was at a loss in explaining this concept to her six-year-old whose dog had died. In that piece I share a story that I hope you will find meaningful too:

A mother was trying to explain to her young son Ben what had happened to his beloved dog Raisin after she died. As he was getting ready for bed one night, the boy asked his mother, “Where is Raisin now?” When she explained to him that his dog had died, the boy asked again, “But where is Raisin now?” Suddenly aware of how helpless she felt to explain, the mother answered, “Raisin is in Heaven.”

With this little Ben seemed satisfied, and he quietly went to bed. Next day, when Ben went out in the backyard to visit Raisin’s grave, he saw the grave site covered with flowers. He looked up at his mother and asked, “Is this Heaven?”

Again Ben’s mother was at a loss to explain the difference between Raisin’s being in Heaven and visiting Raisin’s grave. That night, as she tucked her son in bed, she took a chocolate candy bar from her pocket, carefully removed the wrapper, broke off a chunk and handed it to her son.

“Let’s talk about Raisin,” she said. “Tell me what good memories you have of Raisin.” The boy’s eyes brightened as he told how he’d gone exploring by the river with Raisin, took her to bed with him every night, and played fetch and chase games with her in the backyard. As he shared each happy memory, he munched contentedly on the rest of the candy bar.

When he’d finished with the good memories of Raisin and the candy bar, his mother pulled him close and hugged him.

“Honey,” she said, “your dog Raisin is a lot like this candy bar. You know the good, delicious, wonderful and enjoyable part of Raisin that you remember? That’s the part of Raisin that’s in Heaven.”

Then she held up the empty candy bar wrapper.

“This is the part of Raisin that’s buried in the ground — just Raisin’s wrapper.” Just then a beautiful, peaceful look came over the little boy’s face as he realized what his mother was saying.

This simple story teaches us that the enjoyable part of those we love is never forgotten. We lose only the physical part of the relationship, not the emotional and spiritual parts. What seemed like a puzzle for a boy and his mother just hours before had become a clear picture of the new relationship that’s possible when someone we love has died. Such is the power of story.

[Source: Using Story to Explain Pet Loss to Children]
 

First of all, thank you for the quick reply, it helped me to think in a different way. That's such a sweet story, I should focus on feeling that the emotional and spiritual parts as you say are forever in me... I wish her little spirit is at peace now. 

Hi everyone, I had to decide to put my so loved dog to sleep yesterday. She was a part of me, I grew up with her and now that I'm 20 I was always by her side, taking care of her. She was the sweetest. Lately she started getting worse, she was 14 years old, and I try to think I did the best decision. Her last moments were actually nice, I held her in my arms and she fell asleep on me and I'm so glad I was with her. The moment the vet asked me what I wanted to do my head was all foggy, I said yes to communal cremation and now when I think back I'm all worried and confused about it. I can't stop picturing her little body, and I wonder where she will be now, how the procedure of cremation will be. I fear people not being careful with her body even if it sounds irrational... I'm sorry for the description but I picture her being thrown in a pile of other dead dogs and it breaks me... I guess it isn't like that but I can't find any info on how the process works, and my mind tricks me. She was just so fragile and I keep seeing that final moment in my head, leaving the room when she was gone and thinking I left her there, and she's not coming back. And her little body was left there, separated from me... I don't know what to think, I'm sorry if I got too sensitive but any advice would be appreciated. Thank you, I'm sending love to all of you