Laurie echevarria

It's been close to 3 months the love of my life died unexspectatly  still do t know how it actually  happened are if they had a ceremony for him I'm in the dark and have know way of finding out it's been a lonely road I'm still so very angry at him for leaving me here and not being responsible and getting himself together for not caring about me enough to want to change his life and love me like I so love him I'm angry and upset and wanna scream  .

Thank you Gwenivere  you are truly a blessing to me and I know many others thank you for your advise I will take it and make an appointment I Do need  some help. 

Thank you it's the hardiest thing Iv ever been through and iv been through some horrific things ...

Thank you so so much it feels good to get things of my chest I appreciate  all of u  with all my heart

Well I'm trying I really am I havent gave up even though I wanted too so many times the pain I feel inside is literally feel as if I'm dieing slowly cant drive are go anywhere cause I break down and have a panick attack I cant eat certain food because I feel bad that you liked it so much and feel I shouldn't eat itt I cant smile cause I feel guilty I lay here still dieing inside crying ...I'm so lost still to this day dont really know what happened to my jesse now I heard they found him in a Bush cause he took fentenal  I dont know what to believe I'm sorry Jesse I wasn't there for you I love you so much I,i cant work dont know what to do all I do is cry and hide  from everything this will never pass I'll never be the same ever again it hurts so bad its not getting better it just isn't..........dieing alone .

Thank you ssf o very much MartyT had the same idea Imade a go fund me acct for Jesse so I can get a memorial  bench and plaque ,also I'm get candels put a picture of him on it and everybody light it and send balloon up in sky at the same time and video everyone doing it and make a DVD thank you for ur kind words and suggestions I really appreciate  it God blesd

I never found out anything about Jesse memorial  obituary nothing it totally saddens me 

Ur right even if I could go to his grave are something to say good by I need that DC o bad

And yes there are grandkids too lil ones and I believe they are

5 hours ago, kayc said:

Both of you have my sympathy, hard enough going through this without having the family not recognize you, your love, your grief.  I'd put the exes on ignore/block.  Is it possible the families are gushing over the ex because they fear losing contact with their grandkids?  Maybe not in Laurie's case, her stepson being older, just a thought.

Yes.  One thing I've learned is we do get through things.

Thank you so much I'm glad I have u all God bless

Yes I believe that also about  the grandkids I just hurts also thank you so very much for writing me back suzie u ffg ont know what that ment to me I thank God ur feeling doing better I pray I'm get that way my boyfriend of 3 years was found dead one day there next day not his name was Jesse I miss him so plz keep in touch suzie my prayers are with u plz keep me in yours also .thank you

I lost my boyfriend of 3 years week ago and I know exactly how you feel alone crying sick to my stomach panic attacks hopeless devastated I really don't know how to cope how to ffg o much  of anything but cry today I went out with my brother for a drive it was terrible all I did was cry my eyes out everywhere I looked was what used too be but was no more are ever be again I really don't  think I'm make it through this and then to have his family ignore me not tell me when funeral is and worship  his ex wife the mother of his daughter I cant stand it he absolutely hated her and they talk about them like they were so close it's because of her that he is dead he list everything because of her budding in to are relationship and now she post things like they were close omg lady he hated u so how dare u I wanna say omg I'm loosing my mind they make me feel as though it's my fault like I'm trash u were his ex for a reason and I m girlfriend for another aaaahhhh I'm literally gunna loose it.....

Thank you so much for your kind words

Hi Tamara Sanders I just wanted you to know I truly understand what your going through I'm actually going through it myself my fiance of 3 years found dead and gone forever I'm here for u and would really enjoy talking too you about what were going through matmybebwe can help eachother  in some way to get through this are at least cope with this devastation were left with I'm here for u my name is laura .God bless you 

another day feels longer and longer as they pass I want them to end but then night falls and it's the worse stillness ,quietness, loneliness and iv still not waken from this horrible nightmare I'll be stuck in tell I die I layed here looking for a sign again for a sound that you where here with me nothing ,nothing I see I feel nothing nothing but heartache ,pain and devastation ur ex wife is still at it trying to destroy and control every little thing I try to do for you shes still not done even though ur gone I hate that nasty bitch ,shes the one who took everything from u and sent you on this down word spiral  and shes not done yet .........omg I hate that woman .........she belongs in the grave not you ...not you ............it hurts me so bad I'm sorry I'm so sorry I wasn't stronger to handle the problems the verble abuse I'm so sorry the first time I listen to people and not enable you ur gone dammmit Jesse I was comming back I did come back babe a nd u where gone dammit jesse why didnt you wait for me it's all my fault I'm suppose to be stronger then that I'm so sorry plz forgive me for not handling it in the right way I didnt know what to do I needed a little peace to think I'm sorry jesse plz I need you plz .....forgive me ......

Im so sorry I'm here for u also when ever u need me thank you

10 hours ago, kayc said:

Very good analogy!  It's true, I felt like that in the beginning too, shock protected me at first but I remember feeling terrified, anxious, "this has to be a nightmare I'll wake up from!," did not see how I could do this!  It's not easy, that's for sure, I'm I'm living proof it can be done.  George and I were everything to each other, we adored each other, got each other, understood each other, had excellent communication, when I was in his arms I felt like it was the best place in the world to be!  I have not felt that way before or since him.  But I have learned to stand alone, although it's hard at times.  I still talk to him, these 15 years later!  I can honestly say he's been on my heart and in my mind each and every day since.  I feel like I'm living our relationship on faith, just as it was built on, only the biggest faith of my life.  I know he still loves me, is rooting for me, and understands me.  Nothing, not even death can separate us, I view this as temporary, but oh man, it's a stretch!  On his side, I don't think it's as hard as here as where he is there is no more sorrow, no more pain, they view things from a bigger perspective, without time as a factor.  

We are here to go through this with you for the long haul if you want us to.  

You might want to make contact with a professional grief counselor.  Some are resuming practice in person, some by phone, it can be helpful but one week in is very very early..  Do you have a friend or family member with you?

Yes I do my mom

I can't do this I don't know what to do are when to do it are even how I'm a mess I can't think in a bad nightmare I won't wake up plz help me understand what's happening 

Today was a bad day like everyday lately I come to realize I will never find me another Jesse he used to tell me that he will never find himself another laura,I find myself knowing from the depths of my heart I won't ever have him are any other man again I will be alone forever I loved him so much I could never do that many other people can but not me l be alone forever ,today I found one of Jesse's dirty shirts I smelled it and my heart what's left of it hurt so bad a shallow filling in the pit of my stomach an emptiness of why babe why I can't even handle this feeling of never ever holding him again of him combing my hair he even would put my shoes on for me he lived to touch my hair and tell me I was beautiful he would say u don't even know how beautiful  you are do u he was my soulmate everything I wanted and would ever want in a man and gone just like that my future my life my breath I wish I was dead with him cause there's nothing now to breath for ,I find myself wanting to talk to psyhcis because I want to hear from him tell me something something to live for tell me why anything I just need peace dammit so I lay here smelling his shirt wondering if the pain the wondering will ever release me dammit its killing me slowly ........

Oh my God I know it's only been awhile sence the unexpected passing of my fiance a very short while I feel as if I died with him are maybe I wish I would of I can't see life with out him I never would of thought I would feel so lost so numb well my brain anyway I don't want to do this I never ever wanted to be with out him what where my last words too him not good ones I'm sure i didnt know i didnt even fathom this would happen i can't i just can't i feel sick i feel like i wanna die like I'm loosing my oxygen i can't breath ur my whole world nothing else matters i wonder if he can hear me scream i wonder if he knew how much he ment to me maybe he didnt that's why he took them pills maybe he never new how bad i wanted to be with him forever i tried i tried and you still left me alone did u love me did u care i don't understand how u could be so selfish and not think of us I'm loosing my mind how should i feel i will i ever know ........

Its only been a few days sence I last saw you touched you kissed you and now your gone just like that took f rut on me I'll never here your voice are your laugh we were suppose to be together forever you promised we were suppose to wipe each other's butts when were old and now I'm alone going crazy lusting to the wind waiting for a sign that your talking to me that u love me telling me what happened i can't sleep i can't eat i can't function with out u by my side I'm dying a slow death wondering why u left me behind I'm so pussed and hurt and confused i can't stop crying and nothing makes me feel better i miss you so much Jesse I wanna scream it hurts so so bad my jesse was 53 died on Aug 18 2020 I'm alone forever my soul mate gone forever ...no hope .....no nothing .....just loneliness and depression ........

My fiance jesse died on the 18 of this month I'm not know how to feel I'm so lost and confused hes gone forever I'll never talk to him again ever I went to pick him up and he was found dead earlier that day of what idk the family don't talk to me waiting for the investigator to call he never ffg ose my whole life shattered gone in an instant gone I'm dying lost and alone why jesse who.........broken beyond repair

On 18 of August 2020 I went to go find my fiance to take him dinner and get a motel room for us he was struggling with homlessness we had been together for 3 years I loved this man more then anything in the world ,I couldn't find him I looked and waited nothing then I got a phone call from a family care man telling me he talked to me earlier about my fiance dying I was like what the he are u talking about I have never spoke to u before and I found out that my fiance has passed that morning I still haven't found out how ,where anything his family didnt talk to me are him for awhile now problems from the ex wife interfering now hes gone never said good bye I don't know what to do I feel it's my fault why didnt I go earlier why ,why,why I'm pissed upset confused and sick to my stomach he was 53 yes old why jesse why I'm loosing my mind I came back jesse why u promised never too leave me .....no hope just gone in an instant......