BrilliantPennywyze43

Hi,

I'm Penny.  I've been through 6 losses in 2 short years.  First, my father in February 2019.  Next, my husband in April.  My nephew was murdered in December 2019.  In March 2020, my Aunt Beth passed; she was like my mom.  In April, just 4 days after my husband passed, my ex-fiancée and the father of my oldest daughter, also left from this earth.  Finally, a really good friend (whom I looked at as a sister), Deann, passed this February.  Losing each of these people has caused me a lot of grief.  The one that hit the hardest, it's obvious, was my husband.

Right after a few family members and dear friends told Jeremy (my husband) goodbye, I found myself in a situation where it wasn't safe for me to openly and properly grieve.  My tears could have been preyed upon by others who were around, and though they were not taken advantage of, my tears were still mostly held back.  I pretty much define where I am in my grieving as, behind.  When I left Texas last June, I wouldn't allow myself to grieve then because a friend I'd known from childhood and I lived in the same townhouse, and he'd just lost his wife in 2019.  So, I held myself together to keep from having bubba fall apart.  I spent 4 months in Alabama.  My friend Dustin, had gotten a job through a recruiter in Houston a week before he called me to offer me the opportunity to go to Alabama to work.  Things didn't work out there, and in late October 2020, I found myself back home in Channelview, Texas. 

When I got home, I went to my best friend Sarah's house, and I thought she was going to pass out when she saw me standing at her door.  She cried.  I cried.  I was told I wasn't  allowed to leave their place until I had a job and had saved enough money to get my own place.  I agreed.  A couple of days before Halloween, Sarah's father came over to visit and get some money from Randy.   Sarah and I went up to the corner store, Steven followed in his car, but the first ATM wasn't reading cards.  So, we drove down to the next store.  While Sarah was inside, I called out to Steven, and by the time she withdrew a $20, I had invited  Steven to come by one afternoon and take me to lunch.  Steven came and picked me up on November 2, 2020, and I have gone back to Sarah's to visit.