FreebirdNY1958

2 hours ago, kayc said:

For sure!  I'll be coming up on 18 years Father's Day June 19.  I've found one day turns into another, and one year into another, until the years have passed...it seems to have flown by until I look at what I've survived over the years.  My grandson (5) was here this weekend and looked at a picture of George and I up on the wall and asked who it was...I told him and he said "That was before your face got bumps!"  My son quickly clarified...(wrinkles).  LOL yes, esp. this year...turning 70 this week.

I just got thru #18 on Oct 2nd. I'm 64. Still difficult to do but here we are. 

Happy upcoming Birthday 

I'm still trying to figure out the Reply versus Quote thing so if I do it twice, bear with me. My cell is inconsistent with the site functions.

I'm also hitting the Follow button so I don't lose track of folks who responded. 

15 hours ago, Kieron said:

Welcome, we're glad you found us.    For me it's been just over 5 years.  The grief waves are far less intense and less frequent but yes, they do still sneak up and swamp when least expected.

Thank you for the Welcome. 

Yes, swamp is very apropos for the effect. Ouch...

Thanks for saying hello. I'm glad I found this site. It makes a difference to have a decent place to interact. So many online sites are just too much to take. This seems to be a good neighborhood 😀

Gwenivere....very well said.

The months of the year and whatever significant days they include for any of us, now become triggers for grief to occur or return. For myself,  I have decided to ignore any sort of holidays anymore. Just too painful...

I go very low key and just do the absolute minimum or do nothing. No pressure is a good thing.

Everyone is different. I have no family or social support anymore, so I have to do what's best as a solo.

Agreed. What a lot of people don't understand about those who have suffered great loss....is that the simplest forms of communication can make all of the difference in the world. 

8 minutes ago, MartyT said:

So sorry! Thanks for letting me know! All fixed now 😉

All better. I can read the content now. Thanks

Hello James and thanks for the Welcome. Very much appreciated. 

18 years feels like an eternity. No way to sugar coat it. Some days are very intense....anniversary type days, holidays, out of the blue trigger days....

I have no magic recipe for coping. I have sought out and done 1:1 counseling as well as reading all sorts of grief related articles online over the years. There are no BandAids. You just have to dig deep and carry on as best as possible. 

October is the roughest time for me....my husband and Mom's passing dates both occur. Somehow I get thru it. Finding this forum will be very helpful, I think. 

J

thanks

Each of the 4 links at the end of your reply took me to a blog creation site, which got confusing fast, so I closed them before I got to somewhere I didn't want to be. The first link for "our guidelines" was fine and displayed the content without any sign in or blog creation requirement. I'll try finding the topics in a separate Google search.

PS If I make any blatant conduct mistakes, please let me know. I'm not an experienced forum participant.

Feel free to say Hello.

Hello all, new kid on the block here as of yesterday. I found this forum via a recent Google search on how to deal with the anniversary of a loved one's passing date. It's been 18 years but every year is still a struggle. I've read up on anniversary triggers and manage to get thru it. I am feeling better today. Whew....the intensity still amazes me.

I am looking forward to participating on the site. I've been reading a lot of the posts already. 

J