We had to move in with my folks a month ago due to changing life circumstances. My mom saved three kittens from a feral life when she found them on her property by a feral mom. She watched them closely until mom had started weaning them then she took them in and had been raising them for the last couple months. They’re finally big enough for their sterilization surgeries and they are scheduled. I’ve been around animals my entire life. I’ve worked as an assistant in the veterinary field so I’m no stranger to animal care or loss. However yesterday crushed me.
I was doing my laundry in my parents machine and never, not once, seen or heard the male kitten get into the dryer. It was beyond too late for him and he died in the machine. It was the most horrific thing I think I’ve ever dealt with. I killed my moms kitten. Why didn’t I see him? Why didn’t I hear him? Why?! I have been crying ever since, pleading with the Lord to go back in time just this once to fix my mistake. To save him. I don’t know what to do. My mom is sad but she’s not mad. I snuggled with this kitten all weekend. He was a trouble maker, always almost hurting himself in his mischief. I adored him. I never saw him. I don’t know how he got in and I didn’t notice. I can’t get the image of his little lifeless body out of my head. The panic that rushed over me. The thoughts of how quickly did he die, did he suffer? What was I doing that I never noticed anything.
we hurried him last night in our memorial garden. How can I redeem myself. How can I be forgiving. How can I fix this, or honor his life.
I’m utterly heartbroken. I robbed this little soul of his life. I feel wretched and wicked. I’m so sorry.
a picture of him and one of his sisters from this weekend when I was wrapping Christmas gifts. He was a beautiful soul. I am so sorry.
