I am also new, my Dad died taking a nap on Mother's day from a heart attack- no family history of heart disease, no health issues. He was 58 and so my mom is now alone. I'm an only child, so is my mom and my dad's sister is out of the picture. I do have both of my mom's parents and my dad's mom- the youngest is 83, so it seems that evreything is on me. I'm only 26 and my problem is that I am a hospice social worker. I'm actually THE hospital social worker for a 500 pt hospice. I was actually able to deal with Dad's death, its what I do, I just don't know what to do now. Last Wednesday I took a leave of absence from work- I just don't want to deal with other people's problems. I don't mind attending deaths, dead is just a state for me, I just don't know what to do with myself. My mom doesn't feel supportive, she's got to take care of herself, she's attending support groups and has great friends- I can't bring myself to go to a group with people that I don't feel would understand me- I was supposed to go tonight. I am going to yoga, perhaps it will bring me a sense of calm. I'm trying to read a lot and journal, but I'm just lost. I don't really have a support system outside work- my husband bless his heart tries, but he has no idea. Thankfully I have no kids, only 2 dogs and a cat, but that means if I have kids they won't have a grandpa. Is it ok to have taken leave? Do I need to make myself go back? Not going to work isn't really making me ache any less, but I was starting to have a terrible time mustering up enough emotion to deal with other people's stuff all day and had nothing left for myself. I just need directed by someone who gets it.
