HI Everyone, I'm new here I have lost my hole family My Brother Allen in 83, My Dad in 99 last January 06 I Lost two sister's two weeks apart this past Febuary I Lost my oldest sister and in March I lost My Mom. I'm the baby of the family. I was not ready to lose my mom I had just found her again. My sister's pushed me out of the family I could not say goodbye to my Dad before he died I was not allowed to attened the funeral. I did not know where my Mother was my sister's stopped all communication with me I had'nt heard anything until the day in Jan 06 the police came to my door an told me that they found my Sister she had passed away in her apartment and she had been there for a two weeks that blew me away then to weeks after that on my 28th wedding anniversary my sister Donna took her life. I could not understand why all of this was happening. A week after that I found my Mom she was in a Private care home she was under the care of Hopsice of the Valley they were wonderful. Mom and I had lost alot of time together I had to regain her trust again my sister's put her through so much and had taken so much from her. the time we had we were able to build our Mother Daughter relationship again we became very close I thought thing's were getting better until this past Febuary it all happened again I lost my oldest sister Nancy and then on March 13th My Mom died. I keep asking myself why is this happening my family has been taken from me to fast. there are day's where I can't breath my crying in uncontrolable, I have nightmares that I'm falling and there's no one to catch me. I feel so lost like a mouse in a maze I can't find my way out. I miss my Mom ad Dad so much there are thing's happening to me now and I want to talk to them about it but their not there. I have a wonderful husband we will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in January. He tires to help and understand what I'm feeling I tend to be lashing out at him for no reason and I was told that was part of the grieving process. I hardest part now is finding my new path in life how do I go on without my family. through all the pain and hurt my sister's put me through I have found a way to forgive and I miss them very all very much. I have been trying new path's but nothing is working. I feel like I'm cut in half. on half of me is a wife and mother and the other half is a lost little girl looking for her Mommy and Daddy and their not there. Spunky
