RicknTashow

Why are the weekends always so tough? I do just fine during the week. But come Friday evening, I'm a mess.. I know that I'm busy during the week, but, I am also busy on the weekends..So, I don't understand why EVERY Friday I wake up with the feeling that I can't make it through. SUNDAYS ARE THE WORST!! Rick and I had Sundays all to our selves..We didn't have to set the alarm or go anywhere, if we didn't want...We could just hang out. Half the time we never "officially" got dressed.

I have gotten to where I hate Sundays... I have been invited to do several things, on Sundays, but I just can't bring myself to participate in whatever I'm invited to...

I wish this whole grieving thing would just STOP!!

OK!..I have felt the pain and I will NEVER stop missing Rick..So, just stop, already...Just let me move forward!!

I want to get to know the "new" person I've become..But I just can't find the right shoes, I need to put on, to take the first steps....

The heat

of your body next to mine

The pleasure

of making love time after time

The look

you gave me when you felt it too

The smile

in your eyes when I'd say, "I Love You."

The feel

of your skin in the middle of the night

The sense

of security when you held me tight

The grin

on your face when you felt frisky

That tingling

I felt whenever you touched me

That salt and pepper hair

Those chocolate eyes

laughing at nothing

learning to compromise

The feeling

of completeness and total bliss

These are just some of the things

I miss

Oh these tears...How they fall

While I'm lying in the dark.

The Love of my life has left me.

I'm so sad that we're apart.

Oh these tears...They just won't stop

Falling from my eyes.

As I lay here remembering

The night we said, "Goodbye".

Oh what a terrible night that was.

The night you had to go.

I knew you were leaving, earlier that day.

GOD came and told me so.

GOD came to me and he said,

"I'm taking Rick with me."

When I asked him, "why?"

He just replied,

"That's how it has to be."

"Rick's been on Earth long enough.

I have work for him to do.

But, always keep within your heart,

He truly did Love you."

Oh these tears...Keep falling down.

My eyes, they hurt so bad.

I can't stop thinking about you,

And the wonderful life we had.

I wish GOD would come to me now,

And tell me you're OK.

I wish he'd reassure me,

We'll be together, again, someday..

Without You

my worlds a very lonely place

I miss hearing your voice and seeing your face

Without You

I don't feel like I fit in

I feel so out of place without my Best Friend

Without You

I don't have anything to do

Everywhere I go just reminds me of you

Without You

I have nothing to say

Besides, who would I talk to anyway?

Without You

I'm so sad and alone

I wish GOD would just let you come home

I sit here and wonder about what I should do

Nothing makes sense in my life

Without You

I'm so lonely here without you

My world's a cold, dark place

I'd give anything for one more chance

to feel your warm embrace

The desperation deep in me

is completely taking over

My heart doesn't seem to understand

what's happened to my lover

I know you're gone and not coming back

I understand the situation

I just can't keep from telling myself

you're on a long vacation

How am I supposed to keep moving on?

What am I going to do?

I can't even make myself get up and function

for my thoughts are all on you

You left me here in this big, cold world

You left me all alone

Where ever you are, I hope you will help me

make it on my own..

Natascha Krause 5/4/04

It's been just over 2 months sinse my fiance', Rick, has left..I am still in so much pain..The worst part is that I don't have anyone to talk to that understands what I am feeling...Every day I go to work and people just lay their problems on me and I'm thinking "I DON'T CARE..WHAT ABOUT ME?"

Maybe that sounds selfish but, right now, that's how I feel..I just don't want to hear their drama..I just want to get through mine...I miss Rick SO very much..He was my everything...We had the most incredible relationship..Being with him was like being with myself at all times..there was No embarassment or judgement or modesty, or Bull****. We were open and honest about everything..There was nothing we couldn't share with each other...The intimacy between us was on another level...I miss my BEST FRIEND!!! He was the only one who totally understood me and accepted me as I am...he is the ONE person I need to talk to the most about all this pain..and he is the one it's about...Catch 22?