Hello everyone, My husband died 08/28/07 from a long battle with cancer. We have been together almost 30 years. I say that I was blessed to plan for his death and to know of his wishes. He had time to tell me what a good woman I was and I deserve a good man after he passes. He was at a nursing home at the time of his death scheduled for hospice the day after he died. I am a nurse and when I visited him the day before there were no signs of death near, although he was decling. They called me at work to get their ASAP that he had died. I walked into his room and was relieved 3 family members were by his side. They said he was alert, hungry. My aunt was feeding him, he took the food, than looked up at the ceiling food came back out and he died just in a split second. I have been grieving for all the while he was ill, but nothing what I'm experiencing now. I don't preticulalry believe in ghosts or spirits but the last few days too many strange events. The day of his memorial my computer got a virus or worm, becoming annoyed I did a recovory on it to bring it back to the original factory "new." This takes a few hours so I let it do it's thing and left. When I arrived home rather than seeing the standar Windows screen like is always there, there was a hooded man sitting on a horse, on a draw bridge, very medevil(the grim reeper). Not only that, I have halloween sounds coming out of the speakers, cats, doors opening, bats flying. Also some of my icons are skulls, spiders and bats. The next day I spent crying, depressed, grieving when I heard him say, "Its such a beautiful day, you need to sit outside and enjoy the weather." I went out the same time of day we normally go out, 4pm. I sat in the same chair I always sat in. I got up to get the dogs water and saw a hummingbird for the first time this year. I stood and watched it and wanted to wait until it left, than from nowhere another large hummingbird appeared. I thought it was going to land on my head. Mind you, there were no flowers where I was standing. This humming bird was an arms length away, so close I heard its wings moving. This bird flew in place for almost 30 seconds staring at me with its black eyes, eye to eye contact. This was his way of telling me he is with me. He made sure I was out there at that time. The day after he spoke with me again."take a ride in the country, your too sad sitting in the house." As i drove I felt his presence in the corn, the wheat the trees,the sky, the clouds. This what they mean he is always with you, he's everywhere. Than again last night he spoke with me."Don't go back in the house, it's such a beautiful evening. I feel close to you when you look in the sky, by the stars, I'm way up here."He said "take your time,I'll be here when you come. It's not so bad here." I know he hates to see me suffer like this. Just when you think you can control your saddness it becomes overwhelming. I've been crying today more than any day. I feel his presence. People say it's comforting but I find it uncomfortable, not able to let go. Has anyone experience anything similar? Day 10 of grieving, Anita Rita
