Corinne

Kay,

I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job yesterday! I am so proud of the strength you showed John even though I know how it must have been tearing you up inside. You are such a special person, I find it amazing how you are going through so much and you still find the time to help others. Just make sure take care of you now because you deserve it.

Love and Hugs,

Corinne

((((Kath)))),

I know exactly what you are talking about. It is very hard being both parents. Most of the time my dinner dishes do not get done after dinner, they sit until the next morning because we have to do homework and get ready for bed. My house is usually cluttered until the weekend and then I try to find it. I have decided that I give my girls the time they need in the evening and if the dishes do not get done and house is messy, too bad. Life is too short and they are only young once so I put them first. I look at the rest this way, if someone comes to my house and does not like the mess they are welcome to clean it and I will not be insulted. I hate having to go shopping or to the grocery store because my older daughter hates to go and whines the whole time. My younger daughter would shop 24/7. Yesterday I was ready to pull out of the driveway and the girls told me they were out of money in their lunch accounts(I usually check on the weekend but forgot) so I had to get out of the car run back in the house and go online to add money for their lunches. As for finding time for myself, I still have not figured that one out. Usually when both of the girls are at play dates I try to get my shopping errands done. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in that overwhelmed feeling.

Love and Hugs,

Corinne

Kim,

Just want you to know I am keeping you and your children in my prayers.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Marsha,

Don't ever feel guilty about posting. We all have times that we need to reach out for support, you are not any different than the rest of us. We are here for each other. You are very early into the grieving process and at the point you are at it is very hard to see a light. You have just been through quite a few firsts in a very short amount of time so give yourself a break. Sending (((((((Hugs))))))) your way.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

This is so hard, but I think if I had one more hour with Jimmy, I would first introduce him to my daughters. I know that he would love them and they would love him. I would then spend the rest of the hour wrapped in his arms with my head on his chest, talking and absorbing all the strength that his hugs contained. He gave the most awesome hugs, they were strong yet at the same time they were gentle. I would do anything for one more of those hugs right now!!!

Mel,

Thank you for sharing the video. Your husband did awesome work and I am sure his doctor will be touched that you sent it to him.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Kayc my friend,

My heart goes out to you with what you are going through. You know my story and I just want to let you know that you are going to be OK. I can see in your posts that you are already doing it and you should continue to draw on the strength that George gave you. Remember your love and your relationship and keep drawing on that to find your strength. Allow yourself time to finish grieving George. If you are anything like me you are thinking how could I have let this happen, it is not your fault you, like me, did not allow yourself the time you needed to heal. I know that it stinks to be alone and not have the love and the hugs that you had, but if you let yourself find you, you will see how strong you will really are. You are such a strong, caring and loving person! You know that I am here if you need to vent.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

P.S. I also know that it stinks to always have to be strong so keep venting and leaning on us, we are here for you.

Kath,

I am glad to hear that Wendy's and Kayc's conversations have helped you. You may not know my story since you are so new to this grief journey so I will share a bit with you. I lost my soulmate and the love of my life Jimmy 12 yrs. ago, not long after that I got involved with John and did not finish grieving and giving myself time because I so missed the relationship and companionship that Jimmy and I had. It was a horrible mistake. John brought me down and took away my self-esteem and confidence. We had two beautiful daughters together and that was the only good that came out of our relationship. In Feb. of 2006 John went out drinking all day and decided to walk home through the woods with the temp at 17 degrees and no jacket. He did not make it and it took them 2 months to find him. It was horrible to have to explain it to my daughters, then 6 & 7. After that happened I had to grieve for the loss of such a young life, John was only 34, I grieved for my daughters loss and also because I did not finish grieving for Jimmy, I also had to grieve the loss of my Jimmy.

Please give yourself the time to grieve your lost love. Allow yourself the time to find you and know you before you get involved again. You will be glad you did and you will bring so much more to a new relationship when and if the time is right. It is hard to imagine but you will come out of this a much stronger person and will be ready to make the right decisions. Give yourself the time to heal.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

I want to start a list of the couples here...I could name many of them but don't want to leave anyone out, so please add your name and the name of the spouse you lost...I want to pray for each of you in this new year.

Kay and George

Erica and Walter

Scott and Kate

Tom and Mary Linda

Janet and Mike

Corinne and Jimmy

Hey William!!!

I just wanted to wish you a very Happy Birthday and to thank you for helping me to laugh during some really difficult times.

You are a special person.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Marsha,

It was 12 years yesterday since my precious Jimmy is gone. I still find myself having those moments. Every Christmas I have to go for a walk by myself and have my alone time to spend missing my love. So I too am one of the "abnormal".

Love,

Corinne

Hi My Family,

Just thought I'd take a moment and share some of the things I have learned throught this grieving process. As some of you know I have been at it a long time. It will be 12 years on Christmas that Jimmy is gone and two years in February that John is gone.

One thing I have learned is that this time of year seems to be the hardest. It does not seem to be because this is when I lost Jimmy on Christmas, but I have observed from others who have gone through great loss that it affects them too. I have been doing fine but all of a sudden when the Christmas season started it brought on that saddness again. It is not as severe as it used to be but it is still there all the same. I think it may be because Christmas is such a family oriented holiday and we miss that special closeness we had with those we have lost. As hard as it seems it will be to get through the holidays, please know that you will and you will be OK. Most times the anticipation of the holiday is worse than the actual holiday itself.

I would also like to share a little for those of us with children. As you know I have two girls, Kerri 9 and Kayla 8, I have noticed that the same things that trigger memories for me also triggers memories for them. If you see them acting up more than normal, think about it and see if there is something that is triggering remberence for you and you may find that it is the same thing that is happening to them, they just do not understand it and don't know how to express it. I have actually found that sometimes when they are acting up I think about it and realize I am feeling the same way and it just happens to be that something has triggered a memory.

I hope this helps someone, but if it does not that is Ok too because it helps me to sometimes to put my thoughts into words.

I also would like to wish everyone in my family here some peace this holiday season and let you know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Teny my friend,

I am praying for Anna and the baby. I am also praying for your son and for you.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

Kayc,

As you know, we share getting into a relationship too soon after we lost our true loves. I am so glad that you have made this decision, you are too good of a person to be treated the way he has treated you. You gave him a chance to make things right and he has not so it is time to get out. My advice to you is to speak to an attorney right away and do not tell your husband about getting the divorce until after you have spoken to an attorney.

After Jimmy died I did not finish grieving and got involved with John. He too sucked the life out of me along with all of my self esteem and made me feel very useless. It will be 2 years in February that he is gone and I am finding that strong and confident person that Jimmy helped me become. I still have some trust issues I am dealing with but I get stronger every day and I know that I will never get into a relationship like the one I had with John again. I am telling you this because you are a very strong person and you will get through this and see how much stronger you will become. Kayc this was not your fault you gave your all and he took advantage of you when you were so vulnerable. Hold your head up, find a good attorney and for the first time in a long time take care of you because you are one special lady! Know that we are here for you always. Sending you a big hug to strengthen you on your new journey ((((Kayc)))).

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Hey Wendy,

You know I will be praying for your Mom today.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Jenn,

My heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is to go through loss and have to take care of and help your children also get through it. When John died my older daughter was 7 and she kind of understood that her Dad was gone and not coming back. She would get sad and cry and then go on. My younger daughter was 6 and she was her Daddy's girl, she spent all her time with him. She did not really understand and I had to help her deal with a lot of anger. It will be 2 yrs. in February and we are healing. I found that I had to spend a lot of time with her telling her that I loved her, I also found that as I healed she also healed. She still has some issues that we deal with. She is afraid of something happening to me and afraid when I am late, but we are dealing with that. It is a long slow process. It all takes time so please do not be so hard on yourself. You are doing an awesome job. You have gotten your license, you get up in the morning, you are concerned about the welfare of your children, you are progressing, remember at this point all you can take are baby steps and I think you are doing wonderfully. Your daughter is going through a lot right now, 13 is a hard age, my suggestion is to give her a hug every day even is she ignores you or tells you to leave her alone. She is very angry right now, but as she heals and sees you heal she will remember you were there all along hugging her and loving her. You may want to try to talk to the school counselors and see if they have any suggestions. You ARE doing a great job even though it does not feel like it, hang in there!

Hugs,

Corinne

Kayc,

I am so so sorry you have to go through another loss it is hard to lose our pets, they are like a part of our families. Just picture Lucky happy, healthy and playing with George. Sending you a big hug (((Kayc))).

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Jenn,

Please know that you and your children are in my thoughts today. I have two beautiful girls and for John's birthday we had a cake and each said what we missed and remembered about him. Just try to have a nice quiet day with your children.

Love & Hugs,

Corinne

Kayc,

Once again you have started an awesome topic. Thanks!

1. Jimmy could always make me laugh. When I first met him he made me laugh so

so hard that my ribs would hurt for days.

2. Jimmy used to sing to me all the time. He used to take a song and change some of the words. I still find myself singing them.

3. He loved to fish and hunt and taught me to love it also. We would travel in the spring and fall to go fishing for two weeks.

4. He always made sure that I was OK and did not need anything. If he would here me just mention that I would like to buy something, I usually had it the next day.

5. He had the most beautiful blue eyes and incredible smile.

Jimmy will be gone 12 years this Christmas and I still miss him and love him. He gave me so much and taught me so much he will always be a part of me!

Love,

Corinne

Hi Kath,

I think it is wonderful that you are going to display and show your art. Unlike you I was not able to do any type of art before Jimmy died. After he died I started to paint and draw as an escape, I feel it was his gift to me since I had always wanted to. Friends and family have told me I should try to sell it but I have been too chicken. I wish you all the best next weekend. Please let us know how you do.

Hugs,

Corinne

Hi Lyn,

I agree with Mary Linda. It is really your decision, but if it because you or your love are concerned about your children getting certain things remember you can always have a will drawn up stating who gets what. Another thought, why don't you both discuss it with an attorney together?

Hugs,

Corinne

Actually I think he would like the coal in his mouth, especially if it was coal candy.

Love,

Corinne

Wendy,

The girls would love that, but I don't know how William would take having a carrot stuck up his nose.

Love,

Corinne

Hey Wendy,

If William comes to Jersey you have to let me know so that I can be there to see if he does turn into a snowman.

Love,

Corinne

KayC,

Thank you, the court was a nightmare, just the thought of those horrible people getting visitations with my girls was terrifying. I could not think about anything other than the court hearing for so long. Thank God it all turned out OK.

I am so sorry for what you are going through with John, you definitely deserve better!! I like you do believe that there is always a silver lining out there, it is just a matter of time until it shows itself. I don't think we could survive without some sort of hope.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for everything to work out for you.

Love,

Corinne