tessa

hello Reatha..guilt is a normal emotion in this phase of a grieving process, also an anger, so it is not strange you feel that ..but it will pass..you couldn't do anything and you certainly do everything you could do...but the questions such as : if I only do that? why didn't I ? ..etc..are normal..you are trying to find who is guilty..but it is nobody's fault..and they told you there was nothing else to do... will you ever smile again? yes, you will...that's for sure..you will have better and worse days..one day you will feel an enormous pain and you'll think you can't bear it but another you will smile at some joke of your friends...it is a healing process and whatever you will feel is normal ..just feel it..don't try to avoid it because it will wait for you sooner or later.. I'm very sorry for your loss..come here again and write about your feelings..it helps.. love, tessa

hello Kathy, I feel exactly the same ..I think a part of us wants to live and smile and go on with our life..and the other part is still in deep pain and still cannot accept it...we need time to adjust..a plenty of time because the most significant part of our life is no longer with us..I believe eventually that first part will be the winner, but till than we have to endure and feel whatever we feel ...it is important to face it, not to runaway from that trying to speed the process...

Thank you Karen, Deborah and Dawn... I know you are all going through the same pain..and it is good to hear some stuff wich help you..for me it is, like Deborah said, my love..I know I had such a love in my life and that is a bless and I'm grateful I had it..and still have in my heart.. today is maybe a better day..I say today because in my country it is 12.41 PM..and last post I wrote late last night.. I wish you all a better day today..

hello teny, I understand you completely, I believe the others aswell.. this topic name is why is getting harder and I would like to say my experience about it...for me , now, after 5 months is the hardest period, I'm in depression , I became aware it was not a nightmare, it was real , he is really gone..and what now? for last 5 days I don't go to work, I can't do anything or see anyone..I just lay down in my bed and stare at TV ...I have a cold but nothing serious, in normal circumstances I would certainly go to work... now I know what is a real depression / not that I wanted to know /, but in some period of my life I thought I had one..but not even close...ok, good news! I discovered I'm not a depressed person..what a relief ( just joking )... I never can't imagine my life without him..and now my life without him is reality and nothing and nobody can't change it..I always had an answer ..and now...what is the answer now???? I know nobody can give me the one and I know everything i'm going through is normal ..but it so hard that sometimes I think I couldn't handle it..that is a battle between my head and my heart..I loved him so much..and I still love him..

hello teny,I'm from croatia ...where are you come from? it is so great for me to find such a site cause people can't understand that pain untill they experience that...and they simply don't know what to say..that's why I wanted to share my feelings with people who do understand and as I can see we all feel the same..it is sometimes so terrible and unbearable...but it is easier to know that is normal and that is a process we have to endure.. thank you suzanne for your kind words..

Thanks KayC, I didn't post here before..I was trying to find some place to express my feelings because my friends can't understand my pain and I feel so alone in this..I miss him so much and sometimes I just don't know what to do, how to deal with it...I have no energy at all, I just want to stay in bed all day long...it is 5 months now since he died and it was a great comfort to hear the words of bob and derek that it will be easier ...now it looks like it has never stop..thanks to all of you.. I am not from your country so sorry about grammar..

I lost my husband 5 months ago and I feel almost the same as patty ann...thanks to bob and derek for your answers...it helped..