J.Anne
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I can so relate to what you said in your letter. The routine stuff during the week like going to work and paying bills get done tho every morning it is a struggle just to make myself get out of bed. I get home from work and all I seem to want to do is lay down, cover my head, and sleep. If am not sleeping, I seem to be crying.
It has only been 2 months and I am told this is normal and it will get better so I tie a knot in the end of my rope and hang on. I pray you can do the same. Hugs.
J.Anne
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Hello to all,
This is my first time posting on this message board. I first of all want to recognize how wonderful the people of hospice are. Without them, the last few weeks would have been unbearable.
I lost my significant other on New Year's Day after her 3 year battle with ovarian cancer. It was horrible to watch this vibrant mother of 2 suffer so much. As the primary caregiver, I was there thru the battles with chemo ( 4 different types in 30 months), I was there thru the extreme pain and tears, I was there thru the terrible naseau and swelling that took Shanda's life 2 mo. before her 41st b-day. This beautiful woman looked 70 yrs. old when she died. With all this misery she was going thru, it was still so hard to let her go. I thought I was ready because we knew from the start that her chances were not good. I thought I had my head around things and was ready to handle all tasks that come with death. I wasn't. I have awful memories of her last days when she didn't know who anybody was and couldn't get around. I keep thinking "what if I had insisted we try another doctor" sooner. In some ways it just seems to go on and on, dealing with cemetary, estate, bills. But then I realize it hasn't even been 2 months and it seems like forever. We were best of friends for almost 26 yrs. and made lots of memories. I didn't realize how many until every little thing seems to remind me of her or something we shared. I look forward to the day that I quit feeling like just half a person. In the meantime, I will keep moving on as it is my job to be a model for her 16 and 20 yr. old daughters who are dealing with much more than I. Thanks for having this message board.
When Does It Get Better
in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other
Posted
I haven't been here for quite a while. guess I thought I was doing okay but I'm coming up on 6 mo. since I lost my significant other and it just seems to go on and on. I can't remember the last time anything was "fun". I go to work, I come home to an empty house and I work on projects that we had talked about doing. I've been making myself go out to dinner with friends but can't say it is any fun. People ask how I am doing and I feel like since I am functioning and it has been so long, they expect me to say things are fine. So I do say I'm okay and keep plugging along. When does it finally get better?