hi everyone , tis my 1st time here, thx for reading my post. i got a phone call whilst at work yesterday saying my dad has died, a sudden heart attack and he was dead. i didnt feel a thing at the time and went straight back to work. its over 24 hours later and i still feel nothing like sadness or loss. i havent really known my dad since i was 7 , my mother had remarried and the family moved to america. my mum never said much about my dad , only that he loved me dearly and we had a very close relationship. i must admit that in my childish innocence that i blamed myself for a long time for my parents break up and i punished myself for it.. when i got into my 20's i started to hear why my parents divorced and my heart was broken , my dad was quite an abusive, selfish man. he did some quite horrible things to my mum that i dont wish to mentiion here... lets just say that through findin out these things i felt even more hurt, id had my heart set on meeting him and sorting some things out inside my head. thats not possible now , he's dead. i dont feel a thing and feel like i should shed atleast 1 tear but there is none there. 1 thing i do feel is LOST and its weird. i dont know why ive posted this i just need to write i suppose and perhaps hear from anyone who has felt like i do now. thx for reading Poobear1971
