My brother passed away from colon cancer in May of 2003. I spent the last two weeks of his life with him. It was a horrible painful death and I don't think he ever came to grips with it, thinking that he would somehow be OK even in his final days. He didn't want people to fawn over him or feel sorry for him, so I was the only person other than his wife that he asked to be there. He didn't want my parents to be there, because he didn't want them to worry....and there were other health issued involved...Dad died this past Feb. I was the one holding everything together...making sure that my SIL had what she needed, making sure Mom and Dad were updated, but never talking about the horrible things we had to deal with as B. died. I wanted to make sure that Mom didn't have to hear that litany or imagine how awful it was. In this process of caring for everyone (and my own family...and then my father's death) I feel overwhelmed still. I can hardly think of B. without tears. I am beginning to be able to picture his face as it was in life, before he got sick...but even writing this brings tears and a huge lump in my throat. I don't think I have discussed the end of B's life with anyone. I don't want them to have to carry that burden....he was a vibrant beautiful man in life...and I want my loved ones to remember him that way. Now I am face with taking Mom to a funeral of my uncle tomorrow. I am apprehensive about handling it myself without falling apart. It isn't so much about my uncle's death..he has been ill for a long time...but about another funeral in our family. I guess what I am saying is I need help. I need to know what to do to be able to cope better. Thanks for listening Lynn
