One thing that I have found helps me with my anger is doing something that makes me happy. I didn't realize this until just now, when I read your posts, but I think it has been helping. I have been spending a lot of time working with horses. I have loved horses since childhood but have never been able to spend much time with them. Now I can, and I try to do so. For the time that I am with the horses, I am happy. The happiness may fade within minutes of my leaving the stables, and I may forget to call up the memories when I am away from the stables, but while I am at the stables, working with the horses, learning more about them, I realize I am happy, not only because I love what I am doing, but because I realize I am spending the time and money on myself, treating myself as someone who matters to me. And as I read your posts just now, I realized that these moments of happiness have been helping me with my anger. I don't know if they're counter-balancing the angry times, or if there's some sort of chemical action going on with endorphins or whatever they're called, but something is having some effect. That doesn't mean I don't still get angry, or cry; it just means that sometimes I feel happy. There are no counselors here, either; at least none who are any good; and the ones there are cost money. I don't have any sort of partner to talk with or to understand (or not understand) what I'm going through; I don't feel like playing music, or writing, or any of the other things I have normally done, as "therapy". I don't really care much about anything, not even myself, not even trying to sympathize with myself about being angry and hurt and bereaved. But the momentary happiness that comes from being around the horses is helping. And if any of these thoughts help you, then that helps me too. I just hope that by writing about finding moments of happiness I have not worsened any of your anger or grief. Because one thing that makes me angry, and that adds to my sadness, is when other people start to talk or write about a lessening of their anger and sorrow. It makes me feel like I am losing yet another person, and I can't afford to lose anyone else.