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New Year's Loss...


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My dog of 17 1/2 years Montey passed away right in front of my eyes on Friday January 2nd, 2004. He was my best friend, my other half, my everything...he still is.

I have my moments of strength and then I just fall apart. I know this is all normal, but it just hurts so badly.

In his last two months of life he was extremely ill and I gave up everything..work and school..to care for him around the clock. I was with him literally all the time for so long and now he's gone.

Every little thing in my house reminds me of him and it hurts so so badly. I know he's no longer suffering but I miss him more than I ever knew was possible. I wake up and wonder why..what's the point without him?

I feel guilty for smiling, I feel guilty for doing anything..when I know he wouldn't want me to be this way. I understand all the 'rational' stuff, but it doesn't matter to me right now....

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Angie, these are two web sites that helped me tremendously. Especially the second one. I even ordered her book.

I hear your pain. You are feeling and that is good. You have to feel to heal. It takes a special person to allow feelings. That shows strength. I am told that the pain gets less so that we are able to feel pleasure from knowing our loved ones. This way they can still be a part of our life. So hang in there. You are a beautiful person.

Please keep in contact.



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Thank you so much for your response Kathy...what you said makes sense. I feel like I'm getting stronger each passing moment and am coming to peace with his new phase of life. It hurts more than words can describe, but I am finding sources of comfort here and there, which is better than before. Your response is one example of this...thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I hope you are keeping well as well. Take care.


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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear Angie and Kathy,

My heart goes out to the two of you.

You are beautiful and wonderful people to love animals so much.

I love animals too.

Learning to live with the loss of our beloved furbabies does get easier over time.

I know how bad it hurts.

I too have lost many many kitties over the past 3 years.

I have lost multiples at one times as well.

I know how bad the pain is at times.

I don't know what else to say except that my thoughts and prayers are with you both at this most difficult time. And that I understand what you are going through.

I lost 14 cats and kittens last year that I rescued.

I also lost 3 more feral outside kitties. And even if I could not even touch 2 of them or even get close to them...I loved them and I am deeply saddened by their loss. As long as they hung around there was a chance I could befriend them.

But good news. One of the outside kitties reappeared today and I was able to get her in the house with me. She is thin and weak but she is eating and responding to love. I am hoping she makes a speedy recovery and will consent to being a member of my household/cat shelter.

Love and Life,


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