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Hi My name is Jeanie I am new on this site. I went to thise site because I have had a lot of losses in my life and had another loss yesterday morning when my little 8 year nephew had a foot operation and died right on the table during the surgery because his heart was enlarged. It was unsuspected.

Just a year ago May, my older brother was killed in a pecular way and with in that week my mentor who I use to do ministry with was killed in a car accident and a few months later my aunt dies. This has all taken place in this last year.

Yesterday when my little nephew died I took it hard and it brought up such deep grief and pain I do not even understand. I could not face his parents who I am close to,to even say I'm sorry for your loss because it was to painful.One to see them hurt and my own pain surfaced I was like what is wrong with me! :o

My whole life I had my friends die those close to me I wont tell you how because each one was horrific.

I need help in understanding myself and what I am going through. I feel so separated from everyone nd very alone. I can't stop crying and think I should be passed all this.

Why am I hutig so bad?



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