Goodbye Sophie, I Will Always Love You.

[Sophie the Cat]

The past 2 days have been hell for me. My emotions have been going crazy, it is quite scarey. His name is Sophie. Apparently its past owners who owned him for a couple of months called the cat Sophie, thinking it was a girl. We decided to keep the name.

Yesterday, my mum took my cat Sophie to the vets. I noticed he had been loosing alot of weight recently and not eating right. I did not take this situation serious, i thought he will be back and fine the next day. I waited for my mum to return the cat and noticed she did not have the cat box in her hands. My mum told me that the vet had told her that he has Cancer and a enlarged kidney. He had a enlarged kidney with a large bump on it, this did no sound good.

That day was the worst day, i was picturing him scared at the vets, wondering why we picked him up put him in a box and sent him off. I was crying all night, thinking of what could happen, and what he is thinking.

The next day, i set off for school, not knowing if i would burst out in tears at any time. I would look at the clock frequently. I set for home, walking a fast pace, almost a run to find out the news from my mum. As today the vet would contact her and would tell her the results from the text and the operation.

I walked in the house and looked at my mum, i straight away new it was bad. She nodded her head and told me the bad new, that he had to be put to sleep. Apparently the rash had grown so large, it would be impossible to cure him.

My mum brought his body back from the vet so that we could bury him in the garden. I helped my mum dig a hole trying to keep a straight face, trying to keep strong, it was so hard. I opened the box and there he lay in a bag still warm, just like he was when alive. His collar lay on top of him, stating his name "Sophie". I immeditly burst out in tears as i stoke his warm body. We laid him in the hole and recovered him. We planted a flower on top of him also.

I've been kicking myself thinking, if we had took him earlier would he still be alive now? I also regret not saying goodbye that day my mum took him away. I gave him a quick stroke and that was it, as he tried to scratch his way out the box. I cry thinking of that, what he must of thought, being forced in a box, taken off to some strange place, being injected, being put to sleep and never waking up again. But atleast he did not suffer pain. We did the right thing, there was noting else we could do.

That brings me to now. I've been looking for sites to express my thoughts and find similar situations which comfort me knowing there are others who have suffered the pain of loosing a loved one.

Thankyou for reading to this.

I will always love you Sophie for the rest of my life. Rest in peace, and always be happy.

1994 - 2004

[roo]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. It sounds very similar to what happened to Roo.

[susie]

Oh I'm so very sorry to know that you are going through so much pain over Sophie. You loved her so, and because of that deep love for her your pain is even more intense. Maggie was my dog that I had to have put to sleep just 4 weeks ago today, and that was so very difficult. I still am sobbing, everyday, and often. Our pets become wonderful companions and buddys, and that makes it even more difficult when we have to say goodbye. I have to be happy that we had such a wonderful bond and that we can love so much.

I'm hoping that you will find peace and love in your heart again.

Susie

[LittleGirl'sMommy]

To Sophie's Mom (or Dad--I wasn't sure)

I am so sorry for your loss!!! That must have been heart-wrenching, finding out that Sophie wasn't coming home!!! I can only begin to imagine your horror and pain when your Mum came home..... Wow.

I found out that "guilt" is a typical stage in the grief process. You had indicated that you had regreted not saying more to Sophie when he left for the vet's, etc. .... But you had no way of knowing what was to come! Please remember that you are only human. Not one of us is perfect, and all of us have regrets. Each one of us makes mistakes every day, and we can't know which ones might end up with serious consequences. Some of them aren't even mistakes--maybe they're God's will, and we may not understand for a long time why they had to happen. Unfortunately, that's part of living in these physical bodies. And in order not to feel these things, we'd have to hide away and never love anyone, never experience the joys of life.

In 1998, I had HUGE regrets that I hadn't brought my cat, Mariah, to the vet sooner. I know she suffered at the end!!! She had pancreatitis. I was so angry at myself for not bringing her in sooner that I developed a debilitating illness. I finally came to terms with the situation by writing a letter to my Mariah, pouring out my love, and my regrets... A feeling of peace then came over me, and I have no doubts that it was Mariah telling me that all was ok, that she was meant to pass on when she did (even though she was only 3 1/2!!). I knew then that she forgave anything I had done wrong--or not done right. She loved me and wanted me to be at peace in my life.

You and your Mum did a very loving thing by having Sophie peacefully laid to rest. I know that Sophie thanks you!!! Right now he is in a state of such bliss that we in our earthly brains can't even fathom. Where he is, there is no time or space, and no sadness or pain (Mariah is there too ). You will be reunited. Please don't blame yourself for anything. Sophie knows how much you love him. Your heartache and your yearning says it all--and that last stroke said a lot more than you may even know.

Much love and comfort. Write any time!

-Kathy