LittleGirl'sMommy

Rosemary, I'm sorry you are in this pain. When I lost my Little Girl on March 24, I, too, lost my soulmate (although I believe without a doubt that she is still here with me---just not physically). I also left a 15-year friendship over this because of lack of support. I don't need friends like that, and neither do you. I feel so bad that no friends came over to console you!! I am glad you are seeing a therapist. You are a great Mom; don't forget that. Does your vet have any medical idea why Morgan is running around like that? I have never heard of that. Keep in touch. You're in my prayers, Kathy

Khisha, I'm sorry about this heartbreaking time! You are such an awesome Mom to Tuffy, it is obvious. I know you are facing one of the most excruciatingly painful times in your life. Wow--He is 15 and still romping around with you. What a very special relationship you 2 have (speaking of relationships, I love the story about the boyfriends! ). It must be so hard to even imagine life without Tuffy by your side. I lost my sweet Little Girl (cat) on March 24. It still hits me sometimes with disbelief that I'm supposed to actually live my life here on earth before she and I are reunited! I want to be with her NOW. (I do get signs that she's around, and these comfort me a lot.) Tuffy knows how you feel about him. When the time comes... we will help you through the grief, one day at a time. Please keep in touch! Love, Kathy

Nili, So sorry about your loss! Remember that he died outside playing---something he loved! And please try not to feel guilty. We are human and can't be on guard every minute. Of course if you had known anything was wrong, you would have been by Joey's side immediately. You will see Joey again, when it's your time. In the meantime, he's experiencing only bliss. If the roles had been reversed, you would want Joey to be able to go on, knowing it wasn't his time yet. You'd want the most love and happiness possible in his life. Don't forget that. Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

Hi, I'm so sorry!! I know you must be awfully sad. But you tried to nurse him back to health---don't forget that. He was probably just so malnourished or had some other condition already at work. Please don't feel guilty. And he got to die in the arms of someone who loved him---not alone outside somewhere. Hugs, Kathy p.s. Baby Dibbs is experiencing only bliss now.

Becka! How are you?? Did you have the funeral yesterday? I'm sorry I didn't write to check up on you yesterday. I am thinking about you. Just know that you're not alone (even though it sure must seem this way, without Sandy and Teddy's physical presences). Sandy and Teddy are with you in spirit; their spirits are their true selves---their souls. The hard part is that their cuddly, furry, lovable bodies had to pass on. You and Sandy and Teddy WILL be fully reunited when it's your time to go (I have no doubts whatsoever; we can talk more about this sometime if you want ). In the meantime, your soul is still living inside your physical body, which means you have more living to do on this earthly plane. Sandy and Teddy understand this (in the realm they're in, they really are all-wise) and they want you to be able to go on. It is terrible that not many people understand or want to talk about the love and loss of animals!!! I don't get it. All I know is that I'm grateful for support groups like this one. I don't know what I would have done without this group (and another one that I'm still on). Losing my Little Girl (kitty) was the thing in life I had most feared, and I didn't know whether I'd be able to survive this loss (when I lost my Mariah in 1998 I became very very sick). Well, Little Girl passed on March 24, and ......i am surving, thanks to the love and support of people like you on these groups. For the first few days, I stayed in bed with my laptop computer and spent hours and hours on these groups. I knew I had to be connected to people who understood . Other than that, I watched the Lifetime channel and slept! . I know you still have to go to school. Just know that you aren't alone, and you can come home from school and get on this site and you'll be among family. I really understand your predicament about others not understanding and empathizing with your pain. Write any time! Please keep in touch. Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com

Oh Rosemary, I'm so sorry about what happened!!! How are you doing?? Please know that whatever it was that caused Merlin's death, you couldn't have done anything to prevent it, so don't feel guilty about ANYTHING. For some unknown reason, it was Merlin's time for his little body to pass on. But his spirit is still here; he's in a realm where there's only bliss and no sense of time or space. He's ok---not in any physical or emotional distress. And he's lived an earthly life better than 99% of animals could ever hope for in this world! You are such a wonderful Mom! Morgan is lucky... Hold each other close. Please keep in touch, and write whatever/whenever you need. My thoughts and prayers are there with you. Love and understanding, Kathy

My heart goes out to you in this terrible, heart-wrenching pain!! Klever was obviously a loving---and very loved---dog. You gave him 10 "bonus" years (he may not have survived long enough to be adopted if not for you). You were meant to be in each other's lives (though I know it wasn't long enough!). I know you would have given anything to have been there to comfort Klever when he had his seizure. He understands that! Know that he is experiencing only bliss now---no pain, no sadness. And remember that because he loves you as much as you love him, he would want you to be okay. Love is a 2-way street. If the roles had been reversed and it had been you who passed on, you would want him to be okay down here in your physical body. In the meantime, I guess grief is a one-day-at-a-time thing... My healing process has been helped SO much by being on the 3 different online grief-support groups I spend time at. At first I spent hours on them each day. Now I check in every day but I'm not on for as long. The intense/acute pain subsides over time (though some days are tougher than others). You will be reunited with sweet Klever when it's your time. Hold Bumpy close. You 3 can grieve together. Write any time! You're in my prayers. -Little Girl's Mommy

My thoughts are there with you. I wish we didn't have to go through this pain! Maybe it's because we are capable of SO much love--that we are also capable of this much grief. I guess this makes us really alive... but sometimes it's too tough to handle. I miss my Little Girl and my Mariah. Some days I think I just won't be able to stand it. Hugs and prayers to you. Write any time. We're in this together, Kathy

Frannie, I'm so sorry for your losses!!! My heart really goes out to you. There is nothing like the grief after we lose a beloved furkid. I think the majority of people can't imagine what it's like. When I lost my Little Girl on 3/24/04, I spent hours and hours on 3 different pet-loss support groups I'm with (including this one; they're all online groups), watched movies, and stayed away from people who wouldn't understand. One thing that has helped me is knowing that she and Mariah (I lost her to pancreatitis on 7/13/98) are in perfect bliss now---no physical or emotional pain, no sense of time like we whose souls are still living in our bodies experience. We'll all be reunited when it's time. But in the meantime... it is heart-wrenching, I know. How are the other kids handling everything? ....Hold each other close and get through... one day at a time. Write as much and as often as you need to. You're in my prayers! -Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

I'm so sorry about the loss of Chisum. It is obvious that you provided for him a wonderful 14 years!!! Wow. Please, please try not to feel guilty. It was his time (even though if it had been up to you, he would have lived exactly as long as you...). It was nothing that you did. His little body was wearing out; even without the cancer, his body wasn't designed to live much (if any) longer, for whatever reason. God/nature created his little body that way. But his spirit is very much alive; it's just not in his body anymore. You will be reuinted, but in the meantime, his spirit is experiencing only bliss--no emotional or physical pain! Chisum loves you as much as you love him. He doesn't want you to be paralyzed by grief, even though the grieving process naturally brings with it a lot of sadness. But life does eventually make a way for you to go on, and even to be happy again, although it doesn't seem right now that it could ever be possible. What a major change in your life--I know. In my grief over the loss of my sweet Little Girl, what helped the most was talking to people in my life who understood this heart-wrenching grief, spending hours upon hours on 3 different pet-loss grief-support groups I'm on, and even watching some really good movies. ....One day at a time... You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

Barry, I'm so sorry about your loss! It is heart-breaking, I know. I can only imagine your horror when you saw Max bleeding!!! Even though you feel guilty, please know that guilt is a normal reaction with many types of deaths, even though in this case it was a tragic accident (as your head has been trying to tell you). But your heart is broken and so it's understandable that in its brokenness it is feeling guilt. Mistakes happen every day, and the odds are that some result in tragedy. If only we could go back in time... especially when life changes drastically in a split second. Max understands your love for him, and he feels the same for you and doesn't want you to remain paralyzed with grief...and definitely not with guilt.... remember this. And in the meantime, he's experiencing only pure bliss and there'll be no pain of any kind for him. When you join him, I can just imagine the reunion you will have... In the meantime, lavish as much love on your other kids as you can as you comfort each other. Sending prayers and comfort your way, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

Hi Shelley and Cliff, I am so so sorry about Shadow's passing! I can only imagine your horror and panic and desperation during your trip to the vet!! You did the very best than anyone could have done! You had no way of knowing what was to come--even the vet couldn't have predicted the seizures and death 2 days after her appointment. You did exactly the right thing by having the vet run those tests. And you were on your way back for her next check-up. It is obvious what awesome parents you 2 are. Even if there are little things you wish you had done, or wish you hadn't done (I say this only because it's common in a time of grief to have regrets---we all do), remember that you're human----but know that you are 2 of most compassionate parents there could ever be. I have no doubts that Shadow Marie knows all this. She knows she's had the luckiest 7 years a cat could have had. I was just thinking--- I've read a lot of posts from people who regret that they hadn't been there with their furchildren when they passed on, that their babies hadn't been in their arms. I know it's no consolation, but probably the vet couldn't have worked a miracle at that stage... and so Shadow might have died without your arms physically surrounding her. Now that her soul isn't inside her physical body, she is experiencing only complete bliss and a love so perfect that we whose souls are still being housed in these bodies can't yet fathom what it's like. For her there's no physical or emotional pain----unlike for her 2 precious parents. But wouldn't want you to be paralyzed with grief. I'm glad---and of course Shadow Marie is glad---- that you have each other to lean on and comfort and love. You will get through this, one day at a time. Spend time on this site; we're all here for each other. Much love and comfort, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

I'm so sorry about Chloe's tragic death! And for the excruciating grief you and Libbey are now experiencing. I can only imagine. Personally, I don't know about dogs' reactions to grief, especially in your case, where Libbey witnessed this ghastly killing first-hand. My guess would be that her shaking and lack of appetite, etc., are related to what she saw. She must have been so traumatized by seeing this--not only the killing, but the killing of her dear sister. Maybe when you cry she feels more vulnerable? I know that those who witness violent crimes are subject to post-traumatic stress disorder, nightmares, etc. etc. I really feel for you and Libbey in your time of pain. I hope that the people in your life are supportive. Come here as often as you need! And hold Libbey close. You and she will get through this together, one day at a time. You both loved Chloe dearly; you may even find that this tragedy brings the 2 of you closer than ever. And know that Chloe is ok now--free of any pain, emotional or physical--and in pure bliss. You all will be reunited, I am sure, when it's your time. Please write again and let us know how you are doing. Sending you strength and comfort, -Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com

Hi, I'm very sorry for your huge loss and for the excruciating pain. It's such a difficult decision to make---when to help a pet to pass on. Tootsie is fine now (not experiencing any pain or sadness--just pure bliss) and completely understands about the sufferering she endured during her last days in her physical body. I'm sure she wanted to stay in her body for as long as she could, so you could have her with you. She holds nothing against you. You tried everything you possibly could!! And she sure knows how much she was (and is) loved. There is nothing like the sheer emptiness of life after losing a pet. Life seems foreign, like a nightmare that we're forced to keep having. It's heart-wrenching. The things that have helped me the most are knowing my Little Girl is experiencing only bliss, and the support I have gotten at 3 online grief-support groups as we help each other deal with this pain (the first few days I spent hours on these groups), and other support from certain others in my life who really really understand. Oh, and knowing that my Little Girl wants me to be able to go on. Her earthly life was over, but I'm stuck here for longer, and she understands that. I am positive that Tootsie doesn't want you to stay paralyzed with grief. Remember that love is a 2-way street, and her love for you is great! If the roles had been reversed and you were the one who had passed, you wouldn't want sweet Tootsie's grief to be debilitating. You would want her to have as good of a life as she possibly could while her soul was still living in her physical body. ...And when it's your time, you'll be reunited forever! You are a wonderful, very special Mom---it's obvious. Write any time! Much comfort and love, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com p.s. Would it also help to write a letter to Tootsie, pouring out everything---any regrets you're feeling, the love you're feeling, etc.? I did that when I lost my cat Mariah in '98 following a horrible illness and it helped me to know that she understood how very much she had been loved, and how sorry I was for putting her through certain things, etc.

Oh Andrea!!! I just read your note and I felt something like a knife in my chest. I am so sorry!!! I can only begin to imagine your horror... and the excruciating pain you are still feeling. I want to say that we all make mistakes--every single day, each one of us. Most of them don't amount to anything major, but certain ones turn out to have severe consequences, as in your situation. BUT IT WAS STILL A MISTAKE. You certainly did not mean to do anything wrong. Please, please try and forgive yourself. God is all-compassionate and forgives you and wants you to be comforted. Babar forgives you and knows your love for him. His pain is over; he is feeling absolute bliss from now on (and it's so blissful where he is that even those who have left families behind don't want to come back). There is no physical or emotional pain at all. The only pain now is what YOU have been dealing with ever since. Your kitty knows that your soul will be here in your body for some time to come, and he wants you to be ok and to eventually be able to move on from this tragedy, because you have a life ahead of you. Remember that love is a 2-way street and that his love for you means that he wants the best for you. He would not want you to torture yourself. If the roles had been reversed and Babar had made the mistake that ended your life, you would not want him to suffer. You'd know he had just made an awful mistake. But you'd also know that making a mistake doesn't erase the love that's there. You'd want him to be comforted and to be okay, not to be paralyzed with grief and guilt. As time goes on, when you start to be able to smile again, Babar will be smiling too. Speaking of mistakes, I went to a funeral yesterday of a girl I had grown up with. She died in a car wreck because another driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and his truck had drifted across into her lane. He made a mistake (he was tired because he had been up late the night before, visiting his girlfriend, who was in the hospital) and killed a 42-year-old woman, leaving her boys motherless. I hear that he is having just an awful awful time of it. BUT---he is only human, and he made a mistake. But his intentions were not bad. I pray that both you and he are able to forgive yourselves. As tragic and horrible as these things are, they are still mistakes, and a certain percentage of mistakes will turn out to have devastating consequences. I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have support in your life to help you? Please keep coming to this group, and write any time. With heartfelt support and much love, Kathy ekleigh@yahoo.com

Hi Tami, How are you doing?? I just came across your post. Please try not to blame yourself for anything! I really don't believe that any extra walking would have made Wizpup's arthritis better. From what I've heard of arthritis, it's more of an age-related and sometimes hereditary thing. Exercise helps certain conditions, but I don't think that's one of them. You didn't let her down at all. It's just that you loved/love her SO much that you wish you had been able to work miracles. I firmly believe that Wizpup is in a realm where there's no sense of time OR space. So, she's not aware of missing you. I believe she's in a state of pure bliss, and experiencing more love than she's ever known. While we live in our physical bodies, I believe we don't have the capacity to experience the ultimate love. We'll know when it's our time, and Wizpup already knows. Have you heard of stories of those who've died and come back? Some were blind while their souls were still housed in their bodies, but as soon as they transcended their bodies, they could "see" (in the spiritual realm we don't need physical eyes to do this), and all they felt was love and bliss. I really have no doubts that your Wizpup is fine and that you will be reunited. I think that in her spiritual sense of "time" it will be the time passage of something like a blink of an eye and you'll be joining her. Please keep in touch! You are in my thoughts. Love, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

To Sophie's Mom (or Dad--I wasn't sure) I am so sorry for your loss!!! That must have been heart-wrenching, finding out that Sophie wasn't coming home!!! I can only begin to imagine your horror and pain when your Mum came home..... Wow. I found out that "guilt" is a typical stage in the grief process. You had indicated that you had regreted not saying more to Sophie when he left for the vet's, etc. .... But you had no way of knowing what was to come! Please remember that you are only human. Not one of us is perfect, and all of us have regrets. Each one of us makes mistakes every day, and we can't know which ones might end up with serious consequences. Some of them aren't even mistakes--maybe they're God's will, and we may not understand for a long time why they had to happen. Unfortunately, that's part of living in these physical bodies. And in order not to feel these things, we'd have to hide away and never love anyone, never experience the joys of life. In 1998, I had HUGE regrets that I hadn't brought my cat, Mariah, to the vet sooner. I know she suffered at the end!!! She had pancreatitis. I was so angry at myself for not bringing her in sooner that I developed a debilitating illness. I finally came to terms with the situation by writing a letter to my Mariah, pouring out my love, and my regrets... A feeling of peace then came over me, and I have no doubts that it was Mariah telling me that all was ok, that she was meant to pass on when she did (even though she was only 3 1/2!!). I knew then that she forgave anything I had done wrong--or not done right. She loved me and wanted me to be at peace in my life. You and your Mum did a very loving thing by having Sophie peacefully laid to rest. I know that Sophie thanks you!!! Right now he is in a state of such bliss that we in our earthly brains can't even fathom. Where he is, there is no time or space, and no sadness or pain (Mariah is there too ). You will be reunited. Please don't blame yourself for anything. Sophie knows how much you love him. Your heartache and your yearning says it all--and that last stroke said a lot more than you may even know. Much love and comfort. Write any time! -Kathy

Hi Roo's Mom, My heart goes out to you! I know this is painful. You sound like such a loving Mom. Just know that your Roo is in complete bliss now--in a state of love and bliss that we, in our physical beings, can't even fathom. And you'll be reunited. So, all is well.... except for the process of the painful grieving. And I guess that's what brought us together here at this board. Support is so valuable. Write any time. Much love and comfort to you, -Kathy

"MyShadow", I'm so sorry for your loss. What a precious baby your Shadow was, and is. Special beyond words. I cried as I read your note. My beliefs are that your Shadow is having more fun, more bliss than he ever experienced on earth (even though you are the greatest Mom in the "earth realm" ). Beyond this earthly plane, though, I believe that God loves Shadow even more than you do (I know it's hard to even believe that it's possible and that wasn't meant to belittle your relationship to Shadow!! It's just that I think that we humans don't have the capacity to experience love at the highest plane) Shadow is experiencing complete bliss and love---without any earthly problems or pains--no emotional pain like loneliness, etc. etc. Those problems belong only to us still here in our physical forms. You and I will know this ultimate bliss and love, too, when it's our time. I compare it to being in a really wonderful dream, where there is no concept of time (and therefore, no concept of being without our loved ones) or space. So please try not to worry about Shadow. He's without space or time---enveloped in pure bliss. Shadow knows you'll be reunited with each other and I truly believe that he wants you to be able to go on and live a fulfilling life. ...I know this must sound impossible.... But I believe it was his time for his physical self to pass on--for whatever reason. But because he loves you so much (love is a 2-way street, and he wants the best for you, as you would for him----even though you're the Mom here), and he knows you are "stuck" in your human earthly body for the time being, he wants you to make the best of it. I truly believe that. Even if he had lived to be 25 years old, you would live longer, because his soul was housed in a cat's body, while yours is in a human body. If you can, talk to God and thank Him for taking care of your sweet boy Shadow, because I'm sure He is. [some religions, it seems, don't include animals as God's precious creatures, but I absolutely know that animals are God's creatures (in fact, I think animals are also God's test to us and that those who treat animals---beings of a different species, but no less worthwhile---with compassion are the most loving people there are). Personally, I believe it is Man's interpretation of God's Word that says animals are beneath us. The Bible even says that we have dominion over them; but dominion only means care... and to do no harm]. ....Sorry for all this religious talk, but I noticed you had said you hadn't been going to church.... If your church is one which doesn't honor animals as God's creatures (and a lot of human-dictated religions don't), I certainly don't blame you for staying away!!! I stopped going to my own church when I saw that it was hypocritical when it came to the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule includes animals! Ultimately, God = compassion. And that most definitely includes all of His creatures. I hope you stay in touch. After I lost my Little Girl (cat), I didn't want to face a life without her and it was like a terrifying nightmare to think that I was stuck here---for probably many more years---without her!!!!!! But I truly believe all of the things I said to you. That's why I'm able to move ahead... with sadness and tears but also with some smiles now (I was able to look at her pictures the other day without falling apart). But the only way I'm able to do this is with support. I'm on 3 different pet-loss grief-support groups, and I've only been associating with people in my life who are supportive/sensitive to my grief. .....Speaking of which, I may have just broken up a 15-year friendship because my "friend" wasn't supportive... long story...... I do have faith that Little Girl is just fine, and that things are happening as they're supposed to. I think that life is difficult overall but I believe I'm here for certain reasons--spiritual growth, etc.--and when I die it will be bliss (like what Shadow and Little Girl are experiencing--and we will be with them then. But we can't rush it before our time has come). I've gone on too long already with this post (!!!) but there are many reasons I believe in all this. Much love to you. Please keep in touch. I want to hear how you are doing! -Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

Oh Susie! My heart goes out to you on sweet Maggie's passing. She sounds SO special.--and lucky to have you as a Mom. I believe that she is totally at peace now--experiencing bliss and joy (you know like when you're having a really great dream and you aren't aware of the passage of time or the existence of space). But she wants you to be ok. Unfortunately, her body wasn't meant to live any longer. It's just hard to be in your shoes because your soul is still in your body and it seems hard to face a life without Maggie. You WILL be reunited with her, I have no doubts about this. My sweet Little Girl (kitty) passed on March 24th. Life seems so strange and foreign to me now. I spend a lot of time on 2 other grief-support groups (and now this one) and I have a lot of support from others in my life. But, she was the center of my life and the love of my life. My heart is with you in your pain!! Much love, Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy