How Should I Feel?

[zena564]

I don't know how I am supposed to feel. My father unexpectedly passed away from silent ischemia, at the age of 42, on September 15. It's coming close to the "6 month" mark. My circle of friends no longer exist because they say I have been rude and "distant" lately. I am now 21 and I feel like I am supposed to be "OK" by now, accordingly to everyone else. But, unfortunately, I am far from it. I cry everyday. My dad was a controlling dad, which I now understand and respect. I made sure that he approved nearly every decision I made in my life, until he was gone. All of a sudden, I had to make decisions on my own. I know that may sound dumb, but I feel like I can't function without him. I have two younger brothers (13 and 15). They have lost so many interests that they used to have. My dad seemed like the glue that held our family together, and I just don't know what to do. I feel like my family is falling apart. I feel like I am supposed to somehow fix it. As much as I want to do that, I don't know how. And now I have lost not only my wonderful father, but also all of my close friends. Is it normal that your whole life seems to completely fall apart?

[daddy's little girl]

It is normal for your life to fall apart. You have two younger brothers that you need to look after now. They need you to be strong. Every decision or thing we do are by choice. Life is about choices. Sometimes you make the right choice and sometimes you don't. The way you expressed how much you miss your dad, that lets me know that he did a great job in raising you and your brothers. Maybe your father was the glue that kept the family together, but now its your turn. Pray about it and maybe start having family discussion so that the family can open up. I lost my father a month ago. It makes me feel good when I talk about him or cry. And for your friends, they will never understand until it happens to them. Try to get together with your friends and explain to them how you are feeling and what you are going through. A true friend will try to be understanding and patient. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.