93 Weeks - Still Not Lol

[WaltC]

Wednesday – October 17th – 93 weeks, still no LOL’s

In the past I have highly recommend the book Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman. Its daily readings have been a great help to me for the just over 20 months of my grieving. Just like life, some days’ messages are more meaningful to me than others, but others are still upsetting to me personally.

Many pages are highlited in yellow marker and some have several “check marks” in the columns. A few, very few, are crossed out and marked as “questionable. I have reread most pages now for almost two years. Perhaps someday I will “see the light” and agree with those pages marked as questionable.

However, after 93 weeks of Wednesdays (the day my Jeannie died). I still don’t LOL or smile much these days.

I do agree with the author when she writes that: “we need humor in our lives.” However, when she writes about a small nephew who gave a “hillarious imitation of a bereaved uncle groaning as he wobbled” and characterizes that as NOT disrespectful or unkind, but rather as a “blessed moment of saving laughter” I do question her concern for the grieving uncle. Hopefully, her laughter was private and not audible.

I do not “blame” the small nephew, but when adults encourage such actions I do question their care and concern for grieving relatives.

I realize that I am alone here, but that’s just how I feel right now. Perhaps next year when I read this page once again I will be ready to LOL.