I Lost My Brother....

[mona]

I lost my brother almost a month ago and I still can't accept it. We found my brother dead of carbon monoxide poisoning three days after he had died. His body had been exposed to extreme heat and it was in an advance state of decomposure. We didn't have a chance to say good bye and I refuse to believe he is gone. Victor was 23 yrs old and a couple of years back I had a fall out with him. Before he died we were in good terms and he had come to see my new house the week that he died. If I would have know that was the last time I was going to see my brother I wouldn't have let him go to his death. I wish I would have told him how much I loved him. I know he knew I loved him but I had not told him so in a long time. I refuse to accept that while my brother was decomomposing on the floor I was geting my nails done, shopping and enjoying my weekend while he laid there all alone and dead. I am finding myself believing he is not gone and that he is at my mother's house or at work, but then I realized I am just fooling myself. What do I do? How do I start accepting the horrible truth? Edited July 7, 2007 by mona

[LoriS.]

Mona...I am so sorry about your brother and the circumstances surrounding his death. The way to get through it is to feel everything and take one baby step at a time. It's terribly hard. I'm really sorry. Keep posting...it really does help!

Take care...Lori